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Just learned my ED overdosed last week

(14 Posts)
NannaM Sun 27-Nov-16 00:44:17

She emailed her sister, my older daughter to tell her that the paramedics gave her CPR for 10 minutes, and she had to have 3 x injections of NarCan (anti-narcotic agent) to bring her back. Apparently she is going into detox on Monday. This has been going on for many years, (she turned 40 two weeks ago), and each time she bottoms out it gets worse. She is angry and bitter and has only recently started communicating with her sister. She rejects me completely.
I feel so sad, guilty that I'm not prepared to rescue her again, and so scared that this is the way she is going to die.

Hilltopgran Sun 27-Nov-16 01:07:31

NannM sending hugs, there are no words I can find to express my sympathy for the pain you are going through watching a loved one destroy themselves, sadly if they are determined enough they do keep trying, whilst their families are helpless to change things. Try not to feel guilty, it is her life and adults make choices, you can not change her. I hope you have other family members to give you comfort and support through this sad time. Hugs

f77ms Sun 27-Nov-16 07:06:57

NannM sorry to hear about DD . You really have to step back as hard as it sounds . Only your daughter can change her life and maybe this will be the detox which will set her on the right road . Will she also do a rehab ? this is the most important bit in recovery and the longer the better. You cannot `rescue` her , only she can do that . I am not being harsh and know exactly what you are going through xx

ninathenana Sun 27-Nov-16 08:01:37

((hugs)) flowers NannaM
A very sad situation.

morethan2 Sun 27-Nov-16 08:33:35

What a desperate situation to be in. It sounds as if there is nothing more you can do. It's really hard watching your child 'walk into danger' and not be able to warn or help them. It's a natural inbuilt mothering instinct to keep them safe. So when we can't we feel a barrage of emotions. Guilt and blaming ourselves for their failures is probably the biggest. Can you get help to deal with your own pain and feelings. I know all this sounds very trite, but sometimes we are forced to let go of our children. Don't loose hope she may yet help herself. In the meantime protect yourself the best you can these emotions can be soul destroying. I hope your daughter is taking the first difficult step to recovery.

Lisalou Sun 27-Nov-16 08:42:08

Such a sad situation, I am so sorry. Hopefully, this time she will get back on track, my heart goes out to you.

Marelli Sun 27-Nov-16 09:12:54

NannaM, I can understand what you're going through. There comes a time when we have to try to start looking at things in a different way. This, unfortunately, only works when things are going relatively smoothly. When things 'get bad' again, as is happening for you all just now, it's not so easy to stay in that mindset.
Don't feel you're on your own with this. Please share on GN if you feel you can. I have had tremendous help and comfort here. flowers

Anya Sun 27-Nov-16 09:27:18

I don't think you can ignore the fact that she tried to take her own life, estranged or not. She has started communicating with her sister again, which is interesting.
While you cannot rescue her yet again. I agree, could you perhaps send her Get Well card or a gift of flowers?

Just to let her know you still care.

Anniebach Sun 27-Nov-16 09:39:22

I live daily with this fear, all I can do is keep contact with my daughter and love her

Luckygirl Sun 27-Nov-16 09:41:46

You can only do so much - reaching out and being rejected is a hard road.

I do hope that the detox sets her back on the right path and that this will open the door for some sort of relationship with her.

Jayh Sun 27-Nov-16 09:49:22

??Nanna and Annie??
This is a terrible situation for you to be in. Sending you hugs.

PamelaJ1 Sun 27-Nov-16 09:53:57

Friends of mine were advised to pull back from their daughter for the sake of their own health and sanity.
It was very hard for them especially as she had had a baby that they adopted. Life eventually got better for them so I do hope it does for you?

PRINTMISS Sun 27-Nov-16 10:19:45

Oh Dear! What a terrible thing to happen, and how can we explain such things? It is difficult to understand why someone would want to end their life, I do not think you should feel sad or guilty, although I understand you do. Stand back for a little while, perhaps that will help

baubles Sun 27-Nov-16 10:23:51

As others have said, recovery is in your daughter's hands. I do hope she accepts all the help offered to her but only she can make that choice.

I understand your feelings of helplessness and guilt even though you are not to blame for her state of mind. Please try to look after yourself.