How Can Anyone Diagnose Another Person Mentally Unless They Are Qualified ?

Ankers, I was labelled dyslexic as a child.

Ankers, yes, a person who is qualified makes the diagnosis, true.

Notanan, the difference is rape, rape victim and rapist are all negatively wired. Most labels are unless you're a world class sportsperson or high achiever. So my point is if you label a child, they can grow up with negative view of themselves.

say a woman describes a sexual situation she feels she had no control over, but feels like she somehow is to blame for it.. and outsiders read it and say "sweetheart! that was rape! you were raped and it's not your fault"
- no they're not forensically proving she was rape, but they're giving her the language tools to work through it

So if someone was gaslighted and emotionally abused, and an outsider reads it and says "it sounds like narcissistic behaviour" - they're not "making a diagnosis" they're just giving the victim the language tools to help them from blaming themselves!

Can we ask what your "label" is, as I assume you have one and were given one?

Perfectly good points Notanan. But not relevant to the reason for my post.

But a person making a diagnosis, and that is what I call it, not a "label", will be properly qualified.
That is the opposite to what your op is about. Isnt it?

"I don't agree with labels"

What about Rape. Rape victim. Rapist. They are important labels for physical and sexual abuse.
Emotional/mental abuse victims need the same access to language to be able to express their stories.

are you sure it's not you getting the wrong end of the stick

If someone is describing their experience of their bpd or narcissistic parent on a support/advice thread, how do you know that they've come up with that diagnosis themselves, and haven't been told that it's likely when they've had therapy about the relationship, or actually properly diagnosed.

The Narcissist title is unlikely by definition to be a first hand diagnosis, but it could be suggested to a victim of a narcissist through therapy. It is a definition used to help victims to understand gass lighting and stop blaming themselves and getting hurt by the cycle.

Ankers, I don't agree with labels hence my original post.

Wrong end of the stick Notanan.

Ankers, yes I live in the UK and yes I have experienced children with ADHD.

Not all children diagnosed with ADHD have it, funding chasing plays a part. I know enough teachers to have an insight. This topic is currently on another thread posted by a teacher.

If you're browsing threads, how do you know people are making the diagnosis themselves? I know three people who have been professionally diagnosed with personality disorders. A few with bipolar too. It's not uncommon to know someone or have someone in your family who has been diagnosed. Are the people posting all saying "it's not diagnosed but I think its XYZ" or are you just assuming it's undiagnosed?

BPD is particularly common in dysfunctional families because it is usually caused by childhood trauma which them can cause relationship problems when that person goes on to have their own children, so it shouldn't be so surprising if there are a lot of adult children who are walking away from families where their parents have BPD - BPD often happens when someone was damaged in childhood to the point where healthy future relationships are inhibited.

Why is it not relevant to mention this (so long as care is taken to preseve anominity) when discussion relationships with that person?

A child with cancer is not the same as other children, no matter how much you tried to make them so.

Nor can a child with cancer be in any way comparable to a child with ADHD . Not even sure why I am posting to point out the obvious.

Ana CO or NC with narcissists is a fine life goal, in my opinion. Having read up on narcissists, I can say that I'd happily CO a narcissist and never look back. It's a popular term right now along with many others, allowing people to sort out bad behaviour.

When I was growing up, if a child threw a chair at a teacher,. he got frogmarched out of the class and whacked with a cane. Today they diagnose him with ADHD and send him to the seaside. When he returns, he does something far worse knowing he'll get special attention and so it goes on. None of them wanting to admit that a person can be behaving in an evil way, they diagnose an illness instead or a disorder.

nina1959. I was agreeing with you nearly 100% up to this that you posted this afternoon.

Can I ask[sorry I may have asked before], do you live in the UK?

I dont think your above post is at all true.
I presume you do know children[and I presume adults] with ADHD?

I probably would say that in the early days of diagnosing ADHD, not absolutely all children did have it.
But of the children I know now with it, and sadly I know several, there is not a person arounf them who would disagree that they did not have it.

Penstemmon, no not at all, a cancer diagnosis for a child is just that, a diagnosis. But after this, you wouldn't attach a label to this child highlighting his problem would you? Surely not.
You'd try and keep his environment as normal as possible so he could sense and feel he was just like all the other children, which is what he probably wants to be.
I think it would also be vital to his recovery that his illness was played down and he received positive messages that he was just the same as other children.
When you label a child, they grow up feeling they're out of the loop in some way. I do know this much.

BettyB, given that most of these 'helpful' people on internet forums who diagnose others' relatives as narcissistic usually advise them to cut off all contact, I don't see how that's useful.

nina1959 I agree that it is wrong for people to use medical/psychiatric terminology as a form of abuse and as a bullying tactic. For one thing it is unhelpful for people who are really suffering from illnesses/ disorders/syndromes etc.

However I am unsure why you feel it unhelpful for a child, who has diagnosis of say ADHD, to have that diagnosis named? if a child had cancer and needed particular treatment / care would it be wrong to say the child had cancer?

rather to help those hurt by the narcissist, just my opinion.
I agree that it can help; it helps them cope and realise that they are probably not at fault themselves or a bad person, that anyone else in their situation would be subject to the same jealousies.
It can help them understand and act appropriately without cutting off all contact.

Given the term narcissism is widely used today, I don't believe it's used to negatively wound, rather to help those hurt by the narcissist, just my opinion.

Jalima, yes and no.

Yes diagnosing the child is good but I don't agree with the labelling. I think there's a better way. Just my opinion.

I started this post to point out how labelling a person a narcissist to discredit them is unfair
I personally feel the same way about negatively labelling children

Your thread is about non-qualified people 'labelling' people as eg narcissist and then using that term on the internet to reinforce their case that they are in the right, to cease communication with that person, generally a member of their family.

Diagnosis of a child by an expert - a psychiatrist or psychologist (who has interviewed that child and their family), as having ADHD or being on the autistic spectrum is quite different as it is not labelling, it is diagnosing and can attract extra help and funding which may be beneficial to that child and their family.

BettyB, I think if you read my original post you'll see that the point of posting it was because on internet forums, not this one, but others, a way of negatively wounding others and derogatively describing them is by labelling them a narcissist. If you read up the character traits of a narcissist, you wouldn't want to be thought of as being one.
Same applies if you negatively label anyone. This was the point of my post.

I'm not sure people are said to be narcissistic to discredit them, perhaps it's a diagnosis from a professional? The label is not needed, just the knowledge of how to handle such people.

Penstemmon, my point is..........is labelling a child or anyone fair? I started this post to point out how labelling a person a narcissist to discredit them is unfair.
I personally feel the same way about negatively labelling children and it seems so do some of the experts and teachers.

See the post Labelling.