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" You don't love your grandchild enough!"

(154 Posts)
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Starlady Fri 10-Mar-17 00:16:44

Sigh... sometimes it's hard for us gps to "win." Usually, the problem is the opposite, that the gps want more time, more babysitting than the parents want to give them. Maybe ds (dear son) even expected you to be that way and was surprised to see you aren't.

Most likely, his outburst was just an immediate reaction. He probably was so sure you would say yes that he was shocked and disappointed when you said no. In his mind, he probably thought he and dil just had one more day to cover and now he saw they still had to cover both.

But, apparently, he's over it and you have "patched things up." No need to feel guilty. You and oh have a right to enjoy your retiremenent as you've planned. Ds has to learn that he can't automatically turn to you for babysitting, etc. Perhaps he's learning already.

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Bibbity Thu 09-Mar-17 23:53:20

NO! You've done your time now it's time for you to be free!
What if you want to spontaneously go abroad?
What if you want to stay in bed all day?
They had this baby now it's thier turn to sort themselves out.
They're trying to emotionally blackmail you.
'Be our childcare or you don't wove us boohoo'
Tell them straight but sickingly sweet that while you love them all unconditionally and completely this commitment doesn't fit in with your plans. And then bean dip (change the subject and end that conversation)
'Sorry DS/DIL as we've said childcare just doesn't work for us, bean dip?'

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Luckygirl Thu 09-Mar-17 23:35:13

No!

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Day6 Thu 09-Mar-17 23:29:25

I am in a bit of a quandary.

So is OH. His son and he have had an argument that escalated quite quickly into son saying he thought we didn't love his five month old baby enough, didn't make many arrangements to see him, and didn't dote on him as he thought we would.

We are quite upset at the accusation and wonder perhaps if he has unrealistic expectations of how life should be now he's become a father.

We love the little fella. He is a very contented, happy baby and since his birth we've done lots of baby sitting, given them opportunities to go out together and helped out when there have been childcare issues. The baby really is sweet and a joy to be with.

However, a fortnight ago they were talking about DILs return to work. She is only going to be doing two days a week, and son has a good salary so the nursery fees are manageable. They asked us if we'd like to look after the baby for one of the days, and we said no, but nicely.

OH and I have both recently retired and we have lots of plans to get involved with local community clubs, travel, go out for lunch and generally make up for all the years we were working and raising our families.

I know this is a bit contentious too, but I also find full on childcare quite tedious and boring. Please understand I love our little ones dearly and delight in cuddles and treating them, and I also adore my own children, but I'd find a whole day commitment a tie, and so would OH.

I think we really have upset son by not seeming too keen to take on the baby for a whole 7am-6pm shift.

We've patched things up but this has created a bit of an awkward situation. OH and I both feel guilty now.

Should we?

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