Could You Really Be This Bitter - Inheritance.

But that was when the father was alive so it was the father's decision to give his son his share of the estate and this was the parable of the Prodigal Son which was about forgiveness. Forgiveness was given when the son returned to his father and sought his forgiveness.

Jesus in my reference was telling the brother that it was not for Him to judge the fairness of the parents' decision and that his desire to go against that decision was driven by greed.

Perhaps the mother's exclusion of her daughter in her will was proof of her bitterness and anger and by the same token, the daughter's pursuit of money through the courts is proof of hers.

Hmmmm, the issue was about inheritance.

But anyway Jesus was about compassion and forgiveness so my thoughts are simply that it's a shame there wasn't any afforded and the whole thing became protracted about money. Both mother and daughter lost something of immense value. Each other.

Both mother and daughter lost something of immense value. Each other.

They had lost each other long before the will was read, and it had nothing to do with money. Compassion and forgiveness was never a part of their relationship. To expect it simply because one life ended, is unrealistic.

It's hard to fathom because none of us know what went on but to me, having a mother that disowned me a long time ago, I would imagine that being left out of the will translated into 'I never forgave you and I don't love you'. I suspect the daughter probably wanted the money because it may have represented something emotional that had been lacking in her life. It wouldn't have just been about money.
I'm only guessing. I could be wrong. Just my instincts.

You could be right nina. It must have been hard for the mother when her 17 year old daughter went off and eloped and I can't help but think that for the daughter it was about the money.

Her mother died in 2004 so she's been fighting for an inheritance for 13 years. Maybe I'm being cynical but that just seems more to do with money than filling an emotional void.

Yes, and presumably the charities named in the mother's Will have been unable to claim or utilise the legacies left to them because of this long-running dispute.

It does make the law clear now which is a good thing.

However, I think it was the mother who was bitter and it is sad that she had control of all the money when perhaps the girl's father would have left her his half had he known.
The girl left home at 17 because her mother did not approve of her boyfriend, whom she later married and they are still together, happily I understand.
The mother has missed out on a loving relationship with her daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren and she sounds as if she was a bitter and nasty person to the end.

Yes, charities will fight to the end to get their share!

Sadly, there aren't any winners when it comes to family estrangements. "She had control of all the money" because her husband left her his estate in his will and presumably was what she used to bring up her daughter when her husband, the girl's father, died.

IMO it's perfectly reasonable for the charities in question to fight for "their share". At least they're fighting for what the deceased left them and wanted them to have. The daughter has fought for years for what she considers to be her right to inherit. As I put in an earlier post, inheritance isn't a right it's a gift.

The father may have felt the same way about his daughter's elopement as her mother. It's very sad that he died before she was born; how could she possibly have known that he'd have wanted her to inherit.

Bit worrying to think that no matter how carefully a will is written, making it absolutely crystal clear that you do NOT want someone to be a beneficiary, that person can still fight (for 15 years) to get a share of the estate. I wonder if the mother in this case is spinning in her grave - her very definite instructions have been overridden.

I agree Chewbacca, her appeal was overturned but she still benefited from her mother's estate which was not what her mother wanted.

IMO even the original ruling reinforces a sense of entitlement that some AC have.

It does sound as though the mother had held a grudge since the daughter was 17, which is a miserable thing to do. But then it's also obsessive to fight an ongoing battle for 15 years.

This link mentions it plus how inheritance battles have gone 80% in recent years.
I couldn't be bothered putting my life on hold.

www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/11879330/How-to-prevent-family-and-others-from-challenging-your-will.html

Thanks for the link nina it made for interesting reading but it does look as if there's no way of making your will so water tight that you can't be certain your wishes wont be overturned.

It's very sad that he died before she was born
I missed that information
Oh, so perhaps she and mother were very close if there was just the two of them. Or perhaps daughter escaped for that reason.

It looks that way Smileless. Nothing is cast in stone it seems.

Jalima, yes, I'd read that her father died before she was born. My guess is mother and daughter were close perhaps after father died, then mother didn't accept daughter's boyfriend and they ran off together.

To me it's almost tragic.

I always think in situations like that it's 6 of one and half a dozen of the other. We don't know all the background details

Well if a will means nothing, then how do we make our choices clear. Charities will go as far as they can to collect money and, sort of guessing here, but I think they have met some of the costs to persue the precedent. Nothing on earth greedier than a charity.

My eldest daughter left the family of her own free will and therefore she gets nothing in mine.

I hope no court seeks to overturn that later.

But as the government is hoping to bleed us all dry to pay for 'care' we won't have the problem of contested wills for much longer.

Ana, I know Wright Hassel solicitors, agree the name is very apt. Used to know a Mr Swindle, think the practice was called something like Brindley Twist.

It's sad isn't it, for things to get this bad between mother and daughter? A fairer outcome would seem to be for each of the recipients to share equally but as one of the posters has said, charities rarely agree to this.
But where there's a will there's often a dispute. I have written mine out to share things equally between three family members and a charity. However, my sister argues that as I rarely see one of them I shouldn't include them - which to me is unfair.
It's my will and my decision and you clearly can't please them all.

my sister abdicated when my father died ,she didn't see or help with mum for over 11 years.My mother was adamant she should have nothing,not that there was much but she meant little things,momentoes.My sister changed her telephone number so we couldn't reach her when mum was seriously ill,didn't answer letters or even when we sent a msg through her daughter she wouldn't come and see her.Mums attitude was if she cant visit me when I'm alive dont let her come and weep over my coffin when I'm gone.We went against mums wishes as we felt they were too harsh..maybe WE were wrong.My sister only went to the service and then left.We have had no contact since then ....12 years ago.Her choice .When someone asked her about her childhood she said she had the most wonderful childhood ,so why she cut herslf off only she knows.We think she couldn't be bothered with having someone to look after as mum had health issues

I agree with Ana. Normally a child has to prove a dependency on the parent and that doesn't apply here. She was lucky to have anything. People should expect to earn their own money and treat any inheritance as a windfall.

We only know some of the facts, mainly the DD left at 17 for a man. I am guessing headstrong. No wonder DM was worried as DD has lived on benefits all her life and had 5 children which she obviously can not afford to support, that's her choice. I don't see the DM last act as spiteful, but calling you GD after your MIL does smack of vengeance and is a low blow. We don't know how much either side tried over the years......I am estranged from my DD and have tried everything to get our relationship back on track. I too will not be leaving her anything in my will as the pain she has caused is mind blowing. The DD knew this day would come and is very foolish to believe that she would be the sole benefactor.

If you leave a will and letter/s stating your reasons why then I think that will should be executed as your FINAL wishes. It's all emensley sad, but that's life and some things you cannot change

My mother left the greater part of her estate to my brother and it wouldn't have mattered what I did for her, she would still have done this because he was her favourite and she was always insanely jealous of me. I was upset because the money came from my father's side of the family and he was so fair and would have been horrified at her behaviour. The feeling of rejection is still and I think always will be strong. I don't know if I will ever come to terms with her attitude to me in life and and after she died as I just can't think of anything I did to justify this.

Since no one but those involved knows the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth how can we judge ? In my case D not spoken to me for 10 years ....have no idea why ! I offered to buy her a house when I sold mine in the UK ....she said NO (she was 21 at the time and still at Uni) ,,,she said could she have the money instead to pay off her student loans (4 years at Uni), buy a car etc etc ..I did reluctantly agree BUT she did not get the whole of the amount I would have spent on the house ,,,so I continued to pay her rent for several years after that. bought her another car, paid for holidays an paid most of her bills until she got a job after Uni ........now, not a word ! Therefore I do not feel at all guilty about her not inheriting anything ,,,although inheritance laws are different here in France ,,,all she is likely to be left with are inheritance taxes to pay....a friend told me she is unhappy that she will never own her own house (well, she had the chance !) ,,,that she has to work full time (didn't we all !) and can hardly afford holidays (because I always used to pay everything !) ...now I have run out of spare cash ,,,hardly got enough to survive (typical JAM pensioners !) ..SO yes, I still love her and worry about her, and YES If I won the lottery shed would be my first thought ,,,,,does upset having no contact, but it is obviously her choice ! On the other hand, my friends moan about their children expecting child care, help with funding lifestyle, holidays, etc (one friend has just had her SiL, D and GC (and another on the way) move in with her and her husband into a small 3 bedroomed house, as her Sil and D have just sold their house and are trying to find another to live in ...a few months now, and no house seems to be suitable ! Maybe I am fortunate !!

It surprises me that the courts ruled against the mother's will at all. It surprises me even more that whether they are likely to do this or not depends on the financial status of the adult child. This seems inherently wrong legally, since the daughter is not a dependent. The law in England and Wales gives a person the right to leave their estate to whoever they please. I sincerely hope that further court decisions do not follow this.