Sharing contact information

Staying with for longer than 3 days, aka the fish rule, may be the problem?

Sounds like there are other problems besides the contact issue if the holiday, itself, had problems. Surely, those weren't about contact information also? Maybe he's not comfortable around your family or you found that extended time together doesn't work?

If you found "a way back," would anything be different? If not, then, I agree with broadwater that it's time to move on. Cherish the good memories, perhaps stay in touch, but focus on other friends and try to enjoy your new life.

Perhaps the relationship has run it's course. You'll miss the good things you had but not his controlling behaviour. Stay in touch if you can but invest in other friends too. And look on the positive side of doing things alone sometimes.

We all learn by experience I suppose ooonana

Anya, thank you....if I could have I would.

Firstly a whole seven weeks together is always going to cause stresses especially in a live-apart friendship. Secondly you should not be giving out other peoples contact details.

Finally, I'm surprised that you couldn't work out both those things for yourself

Thank you all for your helpful comments. We are now back from our seven week visit overseas to visit my daughter and her family. We tried to talk about the holiday and its problems, but he says it all stresses him so much he finds its all to hard to handle, so we have come to the arrangement to just be occasional friends and no more holidays etc together. How sad after 16 years, why can't he come off the high ground and just
accept my wishes? I am still after all this fond of him and miss our contact, is there any way back now?

Its a fine line between wanting involvement and being controlling, you need to look at other areas of your relationship as Starlady says. Don't be too quick to think the worst as it may be just an idiosyncrasy of his. We all have these now we are older, its difficult to change the way we have always behaved.

I agree with Jayanna. Say you don't have their permission. Or actually ask their permission if you wish and see what they say. If they're ok with it, fine. But only if you're ok with it, too. If not, just tell him they don't want you to give it out. He can, of course, always ask them himself, but probably won't.

Idk if he's trying to control things or just trying to show an interest in your friends. Some women complain that their men aren't friendly to there pals and maybe he's trying to show he's not like that.

How is he in other areas of your relationship? If you feel he's too controlling or pries too much, in the main, maybe you need to rethink your friendship with him? If everything else is ok, then carry on, of course.

Say you do not have their permission tori their details. I would be quite annoyed if a friend passed on my contact details to a man I hardly knew!

Even if it had been 1917, it would have been the woman's job to thank the host, so no need to duplicate. He just wants to be in control and to have the contact details of everyone you know.

Do you have the address of everyone he ever contacts? If not, start asking - tell him that openness works both ways and you either share every last tiny detail, from the barber to his boss at work, or you both accept that you each have your own address book.

I think its a man thing. Perhaps you should gently tell him its now2017!