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anyone else's husband this difficult to understand?

(78 Posts)
M0nica Tue 28-Mar-17 17:10:40

My mind boggles - at 2 things, first that during your whole married life you seem never to have done anything on your own outside the home, despite working and at, I suspect, a reasonably responsible level. Did you never want to do an evening class, join the WI, or other organisation, go to a dance or exercise class, to name but a few? Were allowed to shop unaccompanied? Do you really have no friends outside the home?

Secondly, your husband's reaction seems bizarre. You are d**n right. He is being controlling and selfish. He also sounds incredibly insecure. If you have been married for a long time, which, if you have grown-up daughter you must have been, and presumably faithfully, what makes him think that at this stage you are suddenly going to go out actively hunting out a new lover. Is that what he has been doing when he jumps in to his landrover and goes off anywhere he likes?

Sign up and go to the coffee morning and develop new friends, otherwise the day will come when you will be an elderly widow, no friends, no interests outside the house and utterly dependent on your daughter for everything and, however much she loves you, you will become a burden she has to cope with.

aggie Tue 28-Mar-17 17:07:19

good grief ! I think I would feel the same , tell him to treat you with more respect . Ask your Dad what he thinks , bet he would be telling you to join it

cheerfullizzy Tue 28-Mar-17 16:54:51

I spend most of my time nipping round to Dear dad to do his ironing and have a chat, keep him company, take him shopping and do some cleaning, which I love. he is 86 and very kind and independent, I think the world of him, As A retired business woman I don't go out to work and spend the remaining time cleaning my own home and cooking for my husband, etc.Having always been the devoted wife and Mum,... Therefore have no social life apart from seeing Daughter , son & his wife and granddaughter now and again.
A leaflet came through the door about a coffee morning group starting up for people of 55 and over , just down the road from me in the town centre, I thought, Great, I'll go and see what it's like, a good way to make friends & have a little chat away from housework duties, make a nice change. When I mentioned it the other morning, my DH had a sudden outburst...'you don't know what sort of people will be there,...there must be a catch, you just want to go and meet men...I was shocked to say the least...& told him so.
aibu to feel that he's being controlling and selfish, after all, he can jump in his land rover and go off anywhere he likes..& when, I'd appreciate your opinions on this girls, ..feeling rather at a low ebb right now, xx