Forging a 'life'

I have two dear longstanding friends but one lives 20 miles away and the other about 100 miles. We text 2-3 times a week and H laughs at our occasional 90 min phone calls.
Other than H I don't have people whom I spend time with regularly. The nearest friend and I meet up for a couple of hours every 6 wks or so. I'm happy with that, though I do sometimes feel bored not seeing other people.
Appart from the usual suggestions of joining clubs, taking classes in the hope of finding like minded people who then become friends I don't know what you would do.

I think lots of women are in a similar position. Since we retired and moved to France I have less friends of my own. One of my friends died just before Christmas - I miss her dreadfully and the other close one has moved back to UK with her husband and gone into a nursing home.
I do seem couple of friends when we visit UK but that is not very frequent really. DD finds much the same - if you move area it doesn't help and I think these days lots of people do move about. DD finds the local Meet up groups to be good and has met a few good friends there - you will be surprised at the number of people who lack friend for many reasons. She started a group the last place she lived and within a few months had 100 members and by the time she moved (2 years) there were over 200). She has joined the local one to her new town but this time has more congenial workmates than the last place where they were all a lot younger than her.

Sounds like your loneliness comes partly from the state of the relationships you do have, Gordon. A person could have a million friends and still be unhappy if their romantic relationship wasn't quite right. Maybe you need to start by fixing that - or getting out of it.

It also sounds as is you're a person who enjoys have one or two close friends instead of dozens of pals. That's ok, imo. But it seems you and your 2 close friendships have been impacted by the fact that you are all at different stages of life. The married one, I guess, is busy with "married" things (activities with just their spouse or other married couples, etc.0 and so "not available." I'm not sure why you don't seem to be satisfied with your friendship with the single one? Is it because you'd feel better if they had a partner, too? Or could do more things together (double date)? Or is it that the single friend prefers to do things you don't do anymore (go to singles events, hang out late at night or whatever)? You need to see, imo, if you could bond more over a shared hobby, sport or other interest - something you could do together, just you two or maybe you two and the married friend. Make it about shared interests, not relationship status.

But if that won't work or it's not enough, then, yes, I agree with ninathenana, you'll have to find new friends in "like minded people." Perhaps some of those "acquaintances" would fill the bill? Perhaps you need to "look at" them again? Or take the "usual suggestions" that nina mentioned and go to a club or class or two. Your call...

Thank you ladies..

starlady My married friend would be great to do couples with, but her DH is unsociable unless it's his friends, so never been invited there at all, she only lives a 5 minute walk..no point asking them, he wouldn't come.

My single friend I could arrange lots with I'm sure, but I don't want to just rely on a couple of people. I do look at Meetup, and have subscribed to some groups, just haven't attended. My DP isn't keen on me having my own interests, one of the reasons I'm unhappy. I guess if I was happy I probably wouldn't look for other interests eh? So I guess I need to address the relationship first.

Hope you get yourself sorted with what suits you. Some people go as couple to meet up groups - if you did that you would maybe meet a couple of like minded people you could meet for coffee etc.

"I guess if I was happy I wouldn't look for other interests"

I don't agree. I find that having other interests is essential so you have news to share. What would DH do if you joined WI or NWR or a choir? Try it.