Emptying the nest

We are in the process of moving to an apartment and my youngest son of 26 is buying one on the same development with his girlfriend. They are both new builds and are lovely. I can't wait to have no children to tidy up after. I love them dearly but am looking forward to the flat staying nice and tidy. It will be lovely to have them 5 mins away but not having to 'look after' them!!!

I also have 4 children but have found that they never really leave home. Even though some of them live miles away, they always find their way back! What I thought would be a nice peaceful retirement with lots time to myself, to do whatever I wanted, never materialised, I can't get rid of them! Not that I'd have it any other way though

LOL mine were like boomerangs, kept leaving & coming back, but when the youngest eventually leaves it's not unusual to feel bereft, BUT now
is your time, make the most of it, my hubby & I didn't then he died suddenly at the age of 69, never had a day's illness in his life, but unbeknown to us had 3 blood clots which hit his heart & damaged other organs, enjoy your time with your hubby now you have no-one else to hurry home for etc, best of luck x

I had five children and as each one left home I was partly sad and partly proud of them. When I was left with just one I did worry about how I would feel when he left.When he was eighteen he was killed in a road accident. I wish he had been able to leave home as the others had.

I felt the same when my daughter left home, even though she only bought a house a mile away! It took me a year to get used to the quiet in the house as we'd also lost all the friends that congregated here as well. She's been left nearly 8 years now, and I have the joy of 2 grandchildren to help look after. And I bought hens!

My daughter went to uni in Manchester then went to work in the south on graduating. She's 42 now and for some reason I always have a few tears after she goes back home at Chrismas although the other times I'm OK. I have a son living jut 10 miles away with wife and family and although my grandson is coming up to 16 he still comes and stays an odd night which I love. He even talks to me!

I raised five children and as each left home I was between being sad to miss them,but pleased that they were making their 0wn way in the world.when there was only one left at home I began to wonder how I would feel when he left.He was killed in a road accident when he was eighteen, so my empty nest hit me harder and sooner than I expected. I wish he had been able to leave home like the others.

Get a dog; it will be the best friend you ever had and also fill your life with lots of hobbies and interests and maybe some volunteering.....and never ever let adult children live with you without paying their fair share of the bills or become their skivvy!

Sorry should have read in a matter of weeks

Our youngest left & returned 3 times- even after he had bought his first house-just briefly while he & ex GF sorted things out.
I felt really sad every time.

Don't worry too much I bet your house will very son be full of grandchildren. We can't move for them some weekends!

And I LOVE it!!

My daughter is 25 and also moving out in a matter of she has bought a house with her long term boyfriend and I can't wait. Her bedroom which she keeps like a tip will be decorated and I shall keep it as a second bedroom for me (I have a lifetime illness and I disturb my husband) or when grandchildren visit. I won't miss being her cook, cleaner and bottle washer I think all children need to fly the coop eventually for their own sanity and yours

Greyduster, we are at that stage too. Oldest GS about to go off to University. He has been like an extra son to us and we love him so much. He has kept us going all these years, coming round most Sundays to spend time with us. We have looked after him every weekend (Sunday) since he was born. I am not looking forward to it when he leaves home too. It happens to everyone but it is even worse for those who live alone. At least I have OH still and so have someone to talk to. Hope it is worth all the tears. He is sensible and knows all the dangers ie drink, drugs, girlfriends distracting him etc etc so I think he will be ok.

When the others left you still had one at home! Now he is going the nest is empty. I felt just the same as you when my son finally left home, but he went to Australia. No visits and no hugs, all the fun and laughter went with him. Be thankful that your son will be happy with his girlfriend and also a place of his own. Not many today can say they have such luxuries these days. 10 miles is nothing. Make sure you get those visits in and vica versa then it will not feel so bad.

It is hard when they leave home and make their own lives,but be glad you raised them to be independent. My youngest joined the Navy at 16 and I did cry when he left,but he came home on leave. Now he is still in the Navy has had a good career and only a couple of years ago a son. He has a lovely home down South and rings me often. My elder son does not live far,has two lovely daughters,I get on well with his wife,but do not see them a lot as he works shifts and they have busy lives. I have my little dog for company as was widowed eight years ago.Now I find cooking is a chore and have to make myself do it.Yes my nest is empty,but am glad I raised two lovely sons I am proud of and have three lovely grandchildren.

Yes indeed, the nest is only truly empty when the youngest leaves and I felt the going of my youngest son very keenly. He visits a couple of times a year and I so love having him home, however my little flat was not designed for two really, so whilst it's wonderful to spend time with him, it's also a bit easier from a practical point of view when I am not falling over all his belongings! Last time, at Christmas, he brought his girlfriend as well, so we were very 'snug'! He has been gone for several years now, but I still feel a real ache and shed a few tears when I've left him at the railway station ...watch till he is out of sight, etc...it's just the way it is! You love them and let them go with a smile on your face even though the tears aren't far away.

Pat yourself on the back that they have all happily left the nest. For you it is a true, necessary loss you will mourn. You've done well. You've been lucky. I got a dog never looked back

Empty nest syndrome is hard...........but almost inevitably followed by empty pocket syndrome, as they come back with various calls upon the bank of mum and dad.......their problems are so much more expensive when they live away from home.

I don't think I actually had empty nest syndrome, but for years I never got used to cooking for two and not four, or however many additional hangers on happened to be around! I agree with morethan, though. We only have one GS who is growing up fast. It won't be long before he has things to do other than spend time with his grandparents. I saw it happen to my own parents, and as natural and inevitable as it is, that will break my heart.

It's hard when the last child leaves home but its time for you to have some independence now so enjoy. I'm with LadyGracie.

I was bereft in the beginning and it took a long time before I came to terms with not having my children living with us. I'd hate to have them back now. To be fair our house is often full of grandchildren. What worries me a little is when the our youngest group of grandchildren 10,8,6,&5 do what our 21,19,16, & 15 year olds do and start to get busy lives themselves and so consequently spend very little time with us. Will I have another bout of longing. The price of love I suppose. I wish your son every happiness in his new found independence and hope that you enjoy the fruits of your labours as you watch all your children go on to lead happy fulfilling lives. Your still their mum and letting them go brings it own rewards. This feeling you have is normal but will pass.

Happilyretired, I know how you feel, although I found it harder when the DD's 1 and 2 left home and went to live in the States, 10 and 12 years ago.

DD3 has always lived at home, but DS (the only boy and 25 like your son) moved out a few years ago when DH and I asked him to pay something towards his keep. He decided to go and share a house with some friends and did so until recently when he boomeranged back home.

I love him dearly, but the spare room he occupies had been ear-marked as a small sitting room/play room for DGD. It has a sofa bed for the occasional guest (or so I thought) and I'm quite miffed to have him turning it into a tip. He also produces copious amounts of laundry.

We have downsized to a much smaller place since DH's death, so it's a bit ironic that DS should have returned to the nest. Needless to say, neither offspring pays any rent, but they do chip in for the utility bills.

I know they say 'be careful what you wish for' but I quite like the idea of an empty nest

The clue is (also ) in the thread title Starlady

Isn't there a name for this? "Empty Nest Syndrome," I think? I experienced it, too. One no longer has a child in the home to "take care of," even if by this time, they were mostly taking care of themselves. As Hilly says, it's "the end of an era."

But, after a while, you may find you like your new "freedom." Try to enjoy it because, as pps have said, they do come back for a while sometimes.

Paddyann, good on you and dh for helping ds and gd! And good that he's finally getting a separate life again! I'm glad, too, that he didn't rip gd out of the home she knows and loves, but that he's still very much in her life!

mine came back a few times ,my son came home with his baby in tow about 6 and a half years ago ...and stayed .He works strange shifts so he needs us to care for her as he has joint custody .She's with us half of every week.Just before Christmas he moved into his own place with his new partner..and it was great .We still have his daughter though he has her stay with them when he finishes early and he takes her the 12 miles to school .I cried when my daughter left home at 18 21 years ago ,this time I'm pleased to see him go and have a life ,he's 29 today.

I did find that mine boomeranged back a couple of times and even when they 'moved out' their stuff seemed to remain with us.

I hope all goes well with the move and his relationship - and that you will see lots of them both but enjoy the freedom.
He's your baby even if he is 25!