Hello all. Since my redundancy in May of this year I seem to be getting days more often now than when I was working of feeling very alone. I can be with a crowd of people but finding it harder to shake this awful feeling of being alone? I go home to an empty flat with just my cat to talk to. I so miss having someone that you feel totally relaxed with and someone who you just do nothing with - if that makes sense. I lost my husband in 2008 & we were married for 35 years. We had our ups and downs of course - we were just normal. When I was working I suppose I had less time to think - work kept me focused. I find myself looking at couples my age with envy wishing I was in their position. I know it is true that you can be just as lonely if not more in a relationship - I tell myself this over and over. I tell myself there is so much to do in this world & and there is no need to be lonely but it's the companionship of someone I am missing - someone even to moan with! There are days I am finding difficult to snap out of this way of thinking. Even with my grandchildren - I watch the other grandparents together both enjoying their grandchildren & wishing I was in their position - I know my husband would have adored his grandchildren. Sorry for sounding so gloomy - & yes I probably need a kick up backside and count my blessings but am finding that hard too and I know there are a lot of people a lot worse off than me - just wish these feelings would disappear. I go out and smile at everyone and appear happy and able but feel myself screaming inside! I have an interview next week for voluntary work so hoping I get this voluntary work and this may change my awful attitude.
Thanks for listening...
Disappointed - present rejected
Lost its way - World Book Day
'Do' my feet - dream servant