family squabble - advice, please

I think it is an olive branch

You should both go and enjoy the day. Heads should be held high full of smiles. Forget about the wedding incident and immerse yourself in the pleasure of sharing this child's confirmation with the family, while fondly remembering your sister, who sadly cannot be there. She would be telling you life is too short too.

Go to the gathering and enjoy it.,to be honest, I really wouldn't care what the other sister thinks, she is not the hostess. In any case, she's probably forgotten most of what happened. Go and enjoy yourselves and if niece no 1 does have the sulks, tough. That's her problem. She's a grown woman so let her deal with it. Condolences on the loss of your sister.?

Please both go as you would have done before the incident at the other wedding. I would ask as though it hadn't happened. Sounds like a misunderstanding of maybe tone of voice of the volume or maybe she just zoomed in on that one comment just to stop the conversation - without meaning to state it to your husband. I don't know. Don't miss out. Go along and enjoy being with family x

As others have commented, please go & enjoy. If you do not attend you may find yourselves out in the cold, things can escalate and you may find yourselves not invited to other functions! People are strange creatures and probably no one even noticed, you have taken it to heart, forget it and have a great time!

Yes agree with others definitely go, forget about the past situation it's gone.Im sure your hubby will be a bit more aware of keeping a low profile at someone else's 'do' have a lovely time , you aren't responsible for others or there behaviour

When you promised your sister to look after the girls then you promised to take them warts and all.
You should always attend when invited to these important occasions . Think of your dear sister and keep acting in loco parentis for her. They are now in your care and your hubby is a big part of that .
If one of my sons was to act as your niece did then it would not stop me contacting him or any of them or seeing them.
As the older generation we have to take these things in our stride and keep the family together.

This new occasion is to celebrate a different family event, it is not about the other niece. Both of you should go and be polite but just keep your distance from her - let her be the first to approach you. It sounds as though this niece is on your side, you shouldn't disappoint her.

Yes, I'm with mumofmadboys too. Good luck!

You say teasing was going on between your DH and some of the 'in laws' . I would think the bride singled out your DH as he was on her side of the family. She couldn't really speak like that to the in laws.

By leaving it seemed your husband was admitting guilt.

Go to the christening enjoy yourselves. Not going will cause more problems.
If the opportunity arrives apologise for the teasing causing offence but explain it wasn't meant to be.

Another vote for mumofmadboys

Thank you all for your advice. Actually, the confirmation won't be until next spring, so we are rather hoping things will be smoothed over by then.

Presumably none of the Bridegroom's relations from last year will be there to banter with your DH. I think you should both go and enjoy, last years events are probably now forgotten but if you find the Bride is not friendly just keep out of her way your other Niece wants you there.

You have both been invited so I think you should both go. Just behave as if nothing had happened, smile and enjoy yourselves.

I don't think saying "Pipe Down" to someone is that offensive and I am surprised that your husband felt he had to leave the wedding. In my opinion he could have just said "Oh, Sorry!"and stopped his contribution to the banter. But, of course, what's done is done. So, as others have said, draw a line under the incident and go to the Christening - I am sure the elder niece has forgotten all about it.

Taking care of your sister's daughters is splendid and does include being at their events in a supportive role (finances permitting). You and your DH will be doing quite well by your sister's memory by enjoying her daughters and their milestones. Be positive, have a lovely time.

If the elder girl's mother died 6 months before her wedding, she was probably feeling rather sad that her mother was not there to share her big day. Maybe the banter was too much for her and she took it out on your DH as being family, rather than upset in laws side. It would have been a very emotional day for her, and she might have thought that her family would have understood this, and also felt some sadness, whereas her husband's family would not have been expected to to the same degree. It is quite possible that by now, she has forgotten the whole thing and would be devastated to know that uou are still hurt by it.

I think you should both go and act as if nothing had happened, more importantly, deal with what happened in your head and your heart, try to understand how she would have been feeling and and stop being upset by it. This will be a good opportunity to get back to normal, and be the affectionate aunt who is next best thing to their late mother.
I'm sorry it will be a financial strain for you, perhaps you can keep to a simple present. I hope it will all go well.

I think you should both go and enjoy the occasion. After all you have been invited by your other niece - it's her family's celebration. Act as if nothing had happened - brides can often by a bit 'bridezilla' and over-react, so let it go. If, in the unfortunate event that the 'bride' should act up, then it will be her making a fool of herself. It's obvious that her sister thought she was OTT.

First, I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear sister. For the sake of her memory you don't want this to fester.

This is a different event and a different niece. The fact that her older sister is going to be there shouldn't sway your decision to attend.

It wouldn't be fair to punish your younger niece (and your nephew) for what her sister said (and she wouldn't be the first bride to have gotten 'tipsy' at her own wedding).

This is a different affair and a very special day for your nephew. Many of your family members will be there. That is why you both need to attend. If you stay away, your reasons may become conspicuous, thereby offending your younger niece and making things worse.

So, by all means GO! Be polite towards older sister (you are all adults after all) and act as if nothing ever happened. You may actually have a great time and even find an opportunity for reconciliation! I'm sure it's what your dear departed sister would have wanted.

Another vote for Mumofmadboys!

You have both been invited, you should both go - why penalise one niece (and the little boy) for the actions of another? It's ridiculous to even consider that. Keep DH busy with you and low key in his interaction with others. Chances are that your other niece will try to avoid him anyway.

I think you should both go and if offended niece is there, avoid her unless she makes a friendly move. If neither or just you go to the Confirmation then younger niece could be undeservedly upset. I am sure DH would be on his best behaviour even if he was unjustly treated. Go and have a good day !

I think you should both go. Otherwise, when will be the right time to go and the niece that has given this invitation if he doesn't go to her event but does turn up at the next one. Maybe he was in the wrong or maybe she was but it has to be put in the past and he may as well do it now.

Perhaps your DH was too loud. Loud behaviour is not always welcome and usually means that too much alcohol has been consumed which irritates those still sober.
I have just attended the confirmation in Germany of my GD and it had a severe dresscode ( me in black jacket and string of pearls) and a behaviour code. Everyone was very polite and although we talked a lot and the children laughed and joked after the church service, we all remained at the table and practiced our good table manners. but it is a serious occasion for the young teenagers.

Forget the past and enjoy the celebration- don't let the rest of your family down by not going x