what do you row/argue about the most?

We do not often argue, but DH will often not answer when I ask a question. As he is a little deaf , I do not know if he has not heard or has chosen not to reply. I have now insisted that if he has heard he acknowledges me. So things are a little better. Of course I still mumble.

Most of our arguments are caused by misunderstandings, either deliberate or genuine. I can say the most innocent thing and DH duly spins, misinterperates and totally gets the wrong end of the stick. His spin abilities would put Alistair Campbell to shame. In a similar way he could say something completely innocent but it can come out sounding aggressive, mostly due to his Glaswegian accent. You would have thought we would have sorted this after 41 years but it still happens.

We tend to go quiet with each other rather than shout but the first one to smile breaks the silence then I'll thump him on the arm and call him something rude and all is normal again!

MESS - that's not mine!!!

Does it matter among friends? ?

DH just goes quite (drives me mad) and will then play his music loud. Must be a throw back from teenage years.
Whereas I am quite vocal

Last week 'we' bought a lovely new
multi- photo frame.
I then helped him hang the frame to make sure it was level on the wall already to add some up to date photos of DGC.

The next day DH printed off some lovely pictures of our three grandsons, put them in the frame and then rehang the frame but....
where was my input or choice??
I was only in another room!
As I said I am quite vocal.

All over when one asks the other if they fancy a cup of coffee.

PS is it rehung or rehang?

ps We're both under more stress than usual because of other things. Which partially explains it.

So interesting to hear other people's views. Because I was quite upset about this disagreement this am. I don't like shouting.
I come from a family where my Dad wouldn't allow any raised voices, hostility, at all. It upset him.
OH came from a family of 4 males where they were constantly arguing shouting and fighting. I've seen them. His poor Mum had a breakdown.
But he's very kind and gentle underneath and soon forgives and forgets.
I have a bit of a rebellious spirit underneath which sometimes comes out.
Anyway - we'll try to stick to our compromise.

As I was reading this I glanced over at my H to see what he was doing. We are sitting in the conservatory where we eat all summer. He was sitting in a wicker chair and had take a knife from the table and was poking it through the arm of the chair.
When he was satisfied, he proceeded to put the knife back on the table which is laid for dinner.
That is the sort of thing we row about.

Who doesn't bicker, even if just a bit now and then?
He is a 'I will do it later' kind of a person, later often meaning this year next year sometime never sort of thing.
So I just go and do it.

?

Neither of us have the energy these days for full blown rows, but we do bicker. We have just bickered our way into sulky silence over whether I should take my dodgy back for a walk down to the river for a bit of exercise. He will not let me go on my own (I only just made it back on Sunday!) but does not want to be dragged away from what he is currently wasting his time on exercising his brain on! I will give him an hour and then I'm going!

I agree that the theory that arguments are good things is often put out by people who are argue a lot!
My father maintains that he and mother had a very good marriage - it didn`t feel like that to us children - it was distressing when we were little and just plain irrritating when we were adults

In almost 40 years of marriage we have never had a cross word . We have had some blinding, swearing, volcanic, object throwing three day pre-divorce, potentially murderous 'disagreements' BUT we are calmer now and only minor skirmishes re not being heard/listened too/talked over.

Depends on what the definition of a row is. I consider a row is a full on shouting match with abuse being swapped and no, we do not do that and never really have.

However, as DD say, we bicker, which means low grade grumbling over the minor things in life.

I am not sure that lack of rows means one person is controlling. It is one of those cliches that those who row like to roll out, but I have never seen any evidence to support it.

Neither of us had parents who rowed and we both had parents whose marriages were very much the marriages of equals, with neither partner being controlling. We are much the same, we negotiate, we agree to differ, we give way when something means more to one person than the other - and we bicker over the small things.

The tumble drier!
(See the "hanging out the washing" thread)

we dont argue ,never have .If he had a strop I walked away ..now he is much more even tempered so no need to walk away .I've never liked confrontation ,we can discuss things without it or losing our tempers/patience .

Perhaps it depends on how you define "argue" - OH & I don`t necessarily agree about everything but discuss it without decending to argueing. As I mentioned before - if you have grown up in a household where the parents are continually sniping at each other you do try to avoid that in your own marriage

Most arguments are because of misunderstandings, lack of absolute clarity. We are all vague at times or assume someone understands something only to discover that they didn't.

Snoring is not trivial if it keep you awake at night.

So it seems mumofmadboys My husband sometimes forgets that I am always right, other than that we rub along very well.

Most arguments are about trivial things it seems!

Wink drive???
What the heck that should have been is beyond me.

We've just had a spat too over his snoring! I don't mind him falling asleep in his armchair but please don't snore. So he then had to bring up the fact that I had also fallen asleep (for 5 minutes) and had grunted. We decided we wouldn't divorce over it.

Silly things!!
We have just this minute had a row about skype. He denies I told him something and I know I did.
Any and every relationship should consist of rows of some sort and if people say they don't row then either they are not being honest or the relationship is not in a good place and one partner is in control and the other wink drive or just can't be arsed with bothering to argue which is not healthy. So, if you do argue it's a good sign .

sorry to be boring, but we very rarely argue and never over trivial things. My parents bickered every day for 60 years and being around them put me off for life!