I'm not sure how much more I can take

I now am sitting in bed exhausted after 48 hours of non stop fussing about food, entertainment,sleeping quarters and talking about her....I have just been interrupted mid flow about a problem I have with a must go speak soon...grrrr

My friend is a bit like this, I can't get a word in! I once said to her "J.... you talk too much" and she said, "But you're the only person who will listen to me".
She's kind in other ways though.

I have a friend like this. She spoils every group meeting eg book group etc. by talking about herself . Anecdotes are detailed in full and repeated often and when she gets the floor she keeps it for ages until someone interrupts her. I feel awful as I brought her to the group, and then she joined everything.

Thank you, norose.

I'd be surprised if any grandparent thought about themselves all the time. Much more likely to be thinking of the grandchildren.

I do think some older people who live alone tend to talk more about themselves. but then that maybe the listener is giving supportive non verbal communications.

www.teacherjoe.us/ConvSkills09.html

I am sure if you looked out of the window and started a face book chat on your mobile phone the 'friend' would either continue talking and so 'get the lard out' or ask you what you were doing. You would say multi tasking!!

It's probably because they think about themselves all the time, possibly because they are living alone. It's amazing anyone invites them round at all! I will keep this in mind so I never get so self centred.

Our own posts are in mauve, so we can see them without searching

It's done it again!

Does anyone know why my post on page 4 should be in mauve?

Its loneliness I think...I could bore an empty room, just trying to validate myself.

I have read this post with great interest. Since childhood I have always unwittingly become the listener,( except for when being with few close friends & fellow listeners ) Doesn't matter where I am or what the circumstances are. I am quiet by nature & wouldn't talk about personal stuff to anyone I don't know, I would never assume anyone would want to listen to me even if I did want to rabbit on. So it's good to know there are other ' sufferers ' it would be great to understand ' why' I think maybe the 'talkers' are so (unwittingly)uninhibited)wrapped up with them selves & their problems that they are oblivious to who they are talking to & care even less. Perhaps we display small shut mouths & very big ears &hearts !!

Seem to have lost my post so here goes again.
It's obviously a really widespread problem seeing as we're on page 5 already. If the problem is a friend at least there is some opportunity to limit time spent together. If it's an elderly person (my mum is a prime example) you can forgive due to age but can anyone advise me? My problem is my dd. I see her fairly frequently as I babysit two days each week. We have a good relationship but... She talks non stop about herself and her children..my DGC. Don't get me wrong, I do want to know what everyone has been up to but don't really need a blow by blow account of every meal, poo and night's sleep. She never asks about my life at all. I recently wrote a short book but she has never asked to see it. That's really hurtful. In a lot of ways she's thoughtful and kind to others but seems to think that because I'm her mum I don't matter. Advice anyone??

You're right, of course, Eloethan. However, I did get the impression that many, most (?) of the people being criticised were on there own. Maybe selective reading on my part.

Gracesgran That's a bit harsh.

I would say that if you continue to listen to hours of self-absorbed talk about holidays, family, ailments, etc.etc., without the slightest interest being shown in your own life or feelings then you are a friend - even if a rather exasperated one. It is not very good for one's own self esteem when it appears that your life and thoughts are of no interest whatsoever.

If a person is very lonely and possibly unable to see and hear properly and therefore quite isolated, it is perhaps understandable that they have nothing much else to talk about than themselves, their memories, etc. However, I don't think there is much excuse for couples or individuals who lead reasonably active lives. In my opinion, it shows a lack of generosity of spirit.

I have to say I have always picked friends who can talk a lot . I am quite quiet and don't like awkward silences so I let them chat on. It's usually very interesting, and quite relaxing as you hear about their problems.
But I do chip in when I feel like it.
Some people go too far though, and yes I think living alone does this to you.

I am quite sure Grandma, that we can all do it given the right collection of circumstances.

What has amazed me reading this thread is how people post on here but rarely interact with other posts - they just post about how they have 'suffered' - and that this complaint about the verbal diarrhea, that is often a symptom of loneliness, is not seen as something to give concern about 'friends' but merely as a discomfort to their own lives.

Thank heavens I don't have 'friends' who could not even sympathise with what has obviously become an isolated life for someone they know.

Yes Durhamjen I do it.... and I hear myself doing it and see friends' faces glazing over. Yes I am on my own much of the time and my family never listen to me (I can stop in mid sentence and they don't notice!). I don't get out much. Maybe that is why or maybe I am just boring and don't have much of a life now to talk about. Anyway I will continue to try and be a better listener, and even remember what I have been told! Blah Blah Blah!

And yet they are ... on here.

That's a thought, GracesGran.
It seems strange that everyone on here thinks that their friends do it, but not they themselves.

I don't know, GGMK2, I think I'd just give up!! Time to see less of them, life's too short!

But what if they are rabbiting really quickly with their own stuff Maimeo because they either think you are just like this or they find you boring and wondered if you were telling the story because you were worrying about yourself?

I have several friends like this, who never fail to amaze me by how self absorbed they are when we meet, and how they don't know how to have a balanced conversation. I have tried this technique with two of them...separately! I interrupted their flow as rudely as I could bear to (hating myself for doing it!) and said "Wait till I tell you...I had coffee with So and So a couple of times recently and she's become terribly boring, she talks about herself ALL the time and I couldn't get a word in edgeways...what'll I do? " And I went on implying that OUR friendship didn't work like that..... on both occasions I could see each of them thinking....oh God do I do that?? It was quite funny, I felt I deserved an Oscar!

Very lonely I think, don't you? Or maybe her own thoughts were enough for her. She could have afforded a live in companion though.

It made me think of Thatcher living in the Ritz.
I wonder if she had to go to reception to talk to anyone. I wonder if she was lonely.

I used to have a guest house. You learn not to talk to anyone until everyone's got their breakfast.