Husband can’t cope with new dog

Sadly take the dog back right away. Most reputable rescue organisations will take a dog back, especially as you have done your best. They want a successful, happy placement too & when it genuinely isn't working out they'd rather you told them.

The dog could end up being the most wonderful companion. Keep the dog. It shouldn’t be an either or situation. I managed to look after my mother who had a type of dementia in my home, taking on her dog and 3 cats whilst having a family and dogs and cats of my own. When you take a dog on its for life. Sorry to be blunt but I feel very strongly about it.

Be patient with the dog - it takes time. If you get rid you are going to make your husband, who was the instigator in getting the dog, unhappy. Take it one day at a time. Training takes time. Devote time each day to the poor dog - it deserves your love and so does your husband. Someone has to be the dog's pack leader and dog has to know who it is.

I would say it’s in the best interests of DH, you and the dog to take it back, to the rescue centre, or at least make them aware of the issues, they might be able to help with the training if you do decide to keep it.

Can the Dogs Home not foster the dog out for you for training if hubby is getting attached, they may be able to calm the dog for you whilst you manage to get your hubby back to his usual self.Other wise I would return the dog and they will find a family who can manage his/her problems and training better than you can at the moment.

I do feel the OP is leading for excuses to dump the dog. 'do I push him to keep the dog or look after DH who is struggling so much' as if it is an either or. And she is naturally getting loads of following to do that. Poor old dog.

I'm with Anya. Ask for help first.
It could be that she will be a really good thing for your husband later. My DH did not want another dog but totally adored our beautiful rescue dog- never walked her but loved her to bits for 17 years until we sadly took that last big decision for her own good not ours.

Did you make solemn vows to the new dog? If not husband has priority, in sickness and in health remember?

Shame about the dog but best sorted out asap.

keep your dog, keep your husband - you can do it xxx

Who is more important here? A dog or DH? Send dog back immediately and concentrate on DH!

I nearly found another home for our JR Peggy when she was a puppy as DH had a stroke and I was also involved in my mother's care needs and still working part time.

Quite honestly I don't know how I coped but DH had become very attached to Peggy and I thought it would hinder his recovery if I re-homed her. She's a lovely dog now but definitely did not receive as much attention as she should have done in her early months.

Don't leave it too long before you make a decision.

I’m going to say ‘wait’. A month is not a long time and this dog has gone through enough already without being returned to kennels.

Ring the rehoming organisation. Ask for help. Sit down with DH and make a plan. Tackle the issues one at a time.. After all you said your DH might regret it if you give her back.

Think of this as a puppy you have to train from scratch. Did you say what the problems are? Is she wetting/dirtying in the house? Does she bark too much? Has she separation anxiety?

Give her a chance and rather that driving you both apart, look on it as a chance to pull together and achieve something for an animal that needs a loving home and stability.

PS the worst ever rescue dog we had ended up as the best dog we’d ever had, but it took many months.

(Sorry, that came over rather too bluntly)

You’ve successfully rescued and given good lives to nine dogs. You’re somewhat of an expert and I suspect if you were giving expert advise to another person you know you’d advise sending the dog back as soon as possible, for the dogs sake and yours. It’s difficult to admit defeat and acknowledge ill health but have courage. Do it!

I don't think anything matters other than your partners ability to cope. If he has been a 'rock' during difficult times he may have, sadly, arrived at the point when he need to renew his resources and just hasn't enough left to deal with the dog. It is often the case that people cope with tremendously difficult times, get through them, and then find they cannot deal with something that previously they would have no problem with. It is often a signal to say "what resources have you left to draw on" and acknowledge time must be given to renew them. It is sad about the dog but another time another dog can be rehomed with you.

Goodbye dog!

Hope OH will be well soon.

Rehome the dog and concentrate on your husband. When things improve with your husband, perhaps you can think again.

And apologies for referring to the dog as “him”throughout!

Ah sorry, I had missed that your DH is ill, that does make a difference as you can only cope with so much and it is unfair on everybody to start something you can’t follow through
The sooner this dog has a new home the better, before you and he get too attached to each other.
Best wishes to your DH too.

Thank you

It is unfair on both to keep the dog I think. Rehome the dog as soon as you can so he does not become attached to you. Then you can concentrate on getting your husband well again.
It is not the right time to get another dog trained or not, take some time to look after yourselves.

What a rotten situation for you. Your poor husband will feel so guilty too.
Bite the bullet. You know dogs. Sounds like this one is not for you. Good luck.

Maw broom after having this breed of dog for nearly 50 years it has come as a shock. We got her together and the dog is not bad but untrained , what has come out is how ill perhaps my husband is and whilst I think in the long run he will regret it if we give her back I don’t know who to concentrate on . I would like to also say we do take our responsibilities seriously this is our 10th rescue dog

Having spent the last week trying to rehome a dog, I would say that the decision needs to be made swiftly. If it was a rescue dog then they may take it back.

Who chose this dog?
Did you do it together or was it left up to you?
It does need both of you to be on board if this poor dog is to have a chance of a happy life, an untrained dog is essentially not happy.But it depends on what you mean by untrained.
Housetrained?
Recall trained?
Answers to its name?
Hs he lived in a home before?
Was he ill treated? Chained up ina yard?
How is he to BE trained - it doesn’t cone nnaturally!
For me the bottom line is whether or not the dog is trainable and whether you are prepared to commit to that. Surely 45 years of dog owning have taught you that they don’t arrive with perfect table manners, knowing their P’s and Q’s?
If you are not prepared to commit to that then send him back and give him a chance with a family who will take their responsibilities as dog owners seriously.
Oh and get a tortoise or a hamster
Alternatively you could try rehoming your husband. .