Confused

Dinner in December sounds lovely too. I’d keep it low key, not a lot of fuss or obvious effort.

When you plant seeds you don’t keep digging them up to see how they’r developing. Just leave your friendship to grow at its own pace. I don’t think asking his intentions would be helpful to either of you, whatever the answer. Enjoy his companionship for what it is, don’t force it further.

Enjoy the present, and take it slowly, good luck to you both.

What I meant to say before posting is that you should enjoy things and see what develops. Just enjoy the friendship and if he's the right one, things will work out. For now enjoy a bit of pampering - you appear to be having a great time and I do hope all goes well - good luck.

I agree - don't rush into anything till you're sure. It's a wee bit early after the DA (divorce can feel like a bereavement, if you've felt that you worked hard at your marriage. I don't know about you, but I relly mourned my marriage - felt a failure because I hadn't succeeded and hadn't made my peace with ex, the more because he eventually died.

Personally I would have a first meal in a neutral place, not at my home.

Take it very slowly and at your pace not his. Companionship and someone to cook for are lovely but don't be flattered into more of a relationship than you are ready for so soon after your divorce.
What shared interests do you have? Having someone to do things with is great but does not necessarily involve a relationship other than friendship. It takes a while to work out what you want from life after a very long marriage. Give yourself time. It's not what he wants or needs it's what you want and need.
I may be an old cynic but there are a lot of men who really just want a cook and a housekeeper. As so many women have discovered the flowers and chocolates routine doesn't last very long once the feet are comfortably under the table.

It strikes me that if you divorced after 31 years, there must have been a good reason and it may have been that the writing was on the cards for a long time so I don't think the relative short period since your decree absolute is of any importance whatsoever. You are lucky in my opinion to have a male friend, companion, call him what you like, who seems keen to develop a relationship with you so go ahead and enjoy your meal together - in the more intimate surroundings of your home you may find it blossoms. You are also lucky in that you are young enough to see time ahead of you for a second valuable relationship so grab the opportunity, and good luck.

I'd paddle along and see where it goes. As others have said, enjoy it! It'll progress if if it's going to.

You say he is a widower, which suggests to me he may not be in a hurry to replace the love of his life and still compares her to people he has met and seems happy with a companion at present. Don't rush it. The subject will come up in time. Don't be too pushy you may scare him off.

Take it slow,
Go with the flow!

Startingover, I met my second husband before my divorce from my first husband came through. We had been married for over 25 years and the very last thing I wanted was another man!
Nearly 26 years later, my second husband and I are very happy together.
Take it slowly, relax and have a good time!

He sounds like a lovely caring man who obviously treats you with respect and enjoys your companionship.
As for the dinner, how about soft lighting, candles? A bottle of nice wine or a couple of beers in the fridge if that's his thing?
Making an effort with your makeup will make you feel more confident.
I've never yet met a man who doesn't like a pudding, you can always nip to M&S if you don't fancy making one.
Above all, enjoy your evening and remember that he's out of practice in the dating game too and probably terrified of scaring you off.

Thanks for all your comments and advice - much appreciated. I'm certainly going to carry on enjoying things!

Ilovecheese - I was separated for about 10 months before decree absolute came through. I think he's been on his own for so long as the 'right' woman hasn't come along - dare I say 'yet'!

Maybe he's been on his own so long as he doesn't want another intimate partnership, but he does want feminine friendship.
I'd just be happy with it as it is.

Take it slowly and let it develop at it's own pace. That would be my advice. Enjoy the here and now.

It's certainly not too soon for you to be thinking about this. I assume that you had been separated for a while before your decree came through.
It sounds very nice for both of you.
I wonder why he has been on his own so long though.

Enjoy as it is, lovely to have a companion, time will tell you what's next

Ask him. The best relationships are those where you can both be perfectly honest with each other. If being so direct with him kills his affection for you, then perhaps it wasn't meant to be.

I don't want to ruin a beautiful friendship, though, so use your discretion!

Take it slowly.

Find out a bit more about him if you can, in a general, friendly way.

I'd keep going the same way as it feels good - very early days, just appreciate the present.

Sounds lovely, enjoy it all, no need to rush into anything just yet as you are so newly divorced. Maybe he has this in mind. Good luck.