Support should mean support

Well said jenpax - sums up how I feel but could never have put into words - so thank you!

I couldn’t agree more, Jenpax - well said!

I try to keep my replies to giving practical (legal) advice or suggestions drawn from my professional experience. I hope these are helpful or at least informative.
I don’t get in to criticising behaviours as I will not have the full facts of anyone’s situation, and it is not helpful in resolving things for the poster nor in my opinion kind.
It is impossible to give informed opinion on people’s motives or character based only on a few short posts and therefore supportive comments or practical advice and suggestions are the kindest most helpful responses in my opinion

Dry?

Should read VERY.

Dry much depends on
1) how the ‘advice’ is phrased and
2) if it’s what the asker wants to hear or if she (usually) is open to a new point of view.

I tend to think that a blunt answer is best given (if necessary) in a face to face situation.
It can come across as much more tactless on a forum.
Having said that, I've become quite thick-skinned about it .

bugsy I think you just confirmed Luckygirl point. Who are you to say why people come on here? It's pretty rude/mean to tell someone their thread is silly. And you're not sorry at all.

I agree with Madgran that it is possible to give hard and honest replies without being hurtful or rude. It's not always about what you say, it's how you express it. Well meaning or not.

It's the start of a New Year and maybe a couple of posters on here should make a resolution to think twice before posting in a way that knocks back other posters.

First of all, who was asking for advice? The only advice worth having, is how to cope with this situation we are going through. When you come on a forum for estrangement, you have tried almost everything and have been cut out of the persons life. It is not possible for some on these on these forums to not even to have an address or e mail address or any way if reestablishing contact. Can you imagine how painful that is? That is not my position. It is no good saying if that or the other had been done it would never have come to this. It has happened and everyone of us has had that much time to reflect on every minute detail and blame ourselves a lot of the time for who knows what. These are just ordinary moms who loved their adult children, not abusers or bunny boilers, in a lot of cases they tried too hard, I do think a lot of adults now have a sense of entitlement that I certainly never had. We have all had to move on, for want if a better expression, all avenues have been explored and in the end we can do no more than be there. We have to have a life to, under the surface not one of us ever stops loving our children.
I wish all a Happy, Healthy New Year and who knows what 2018 might bring.

I agree bugsy that "an honest, well considered opinion" can be just as, if not more beneficial, than a supportive comment but despite having been on GN for more than 5 years, I am still at times shocked by the cruel and abusive posts that I see from time to time.

Posts of that nature are not IMO well considered and are certainly not supportive.

Lucky this is such a silly thread. I'm sorry but people tend to come on here for advice rather then support (with the exception of particular threads). Why would anybody not give their honest opinion and instead just offer a supportive comment? Surely an honest, well considered opinion would be far more beneficial

I think it is important to be honest and that might mean saying hard things to the OP ...but I do think it is possible to give hard and honest replies without being hurtful, unkind or rude ...and I am sometimes genuinely shocked by the way views are expressed! The point is for someone to be helped by advice they have to hear it...and if it is expressed unpleasantly then they are less likely to hear it!
I try hard to point out to a poster if their reply is rude or unkind (as opposed to kindly honest feedback) ..interestingly often when I do, I either get an argumentative reply or I get ignored!!!

Well some of the most helpful, life changing moments of my life have been when someone has been straight,if not to say brutal, with me.
Sometimes I want soothing, but if I really want a situation to change I have to be prepared to consider that I need to change too and seeing things from someone else's viewpoint is helpful.
If, as happened recently, the vast majority of replies are critical of a behaviour, then the poster might want to rethink their actions or opinions.
Now I guess I have been critical of the OP but it's not personal. Just what I think.
Which could, of course, be rubbish

Well said Grannyknot

Lucky you were up thinking about that very early ...

I accept that this is the nature of forums, and that we have to take "the bitter with the better". I ignore the former and embrace the latter.

If I asked for advice (which I'd never do on a public forum) I would read the replies carefully for understanding where genuine "reality checks" are offered.

But the bottom line is, this is the nature of the beast.

I agree that some people seem to take a delight in being 'forthright' but, I'm not sure what you would be reporting them for, luckylegs.

I imagine that, overall, the supportive comments far outweigh the negatives.