shell shocked

Best wishes to you and your husband, teddy. Look after each other.

So fear of cancer was behind his harsh words. I hope they can offer him a treatment that works for him and that he is kinder towards you.

Sorry to hear all the woes toothache and teeth out is bad enough but the diagnosis too It may explain a lot if his words Teddy Stay strong for you both I hope it’s treatable fo r bot( your sakes Thinking of you x

Thank you.

Teddy, you are both in through the mill at the moment. Wishing you both well. You are being very brave as well.

Hello,Thank you for comments and kind wishes.He was awake all night,last Wednesday, with toothache and his cheek was swollen,in the morning,we phoned all round the area for emergency dental treatment.The dentist he had been with had stopped treating NHS clients and he had not been able to find another.We eventually had to go to Hull,25 miles away.They took tooth out. Thursday appt at hospital,consultant confirmed lung cancer. Friday,tooth in upper jaw painful all night,managed to get emergency treatment,7 miles away.Another tooth out. He has been positive and I think,incredibly brave.He has lung function test on 31.01.18,then CT scan on 01.02.18.They said they will arrange MRI scan. Then they will decide what can be offered to him. We don't know any more yet.

Good luck, Teddy. It must be a very stressful time for you both.

Glad to see you are still posting Teddy while going through this horrible time I would really concentrate on his health and not any strange things he has said as he may not be meaning any of it Good luck for next Friday

Teddy, I hope things look up and the diagnosis is as good as it can be. You are really going through a terrible time at the moment, but you seem so positive. You are clearly a very brave lady. Please let us know how things are going with your husband's illness. I imagine that is taking first priority now, over your other troubles with his financial stinginess. Good luck with the doctor's appt.

Let us know.

Thinking of you both

We went to hospital Thursday.He had endoscopy,they said they will dicuss him next Friday and let us know.He said his head was ringing last night and he got up at 1.30 and couldn't get back to sleep.Will post when we here anything.
Thank you for your messages.

My father had a heart attack and my mom said he was never the same man personality wise. You can lose oxygen to the brain during a heart attack. There was a term cardiac syndrome I believe she said is what the doctor called the after effects. I feel for you it’s not a easy place to be.

I hope it goes ok for him, teddy. Bless him!

Hello,Thank you for remembering.We went to see consultant.He showed us the tumour on screen.He said they would have a meeting and decide what was to be done.They phoned last Friday and told him to go to O.P dept yesterday.They said they could not do biopsy as the heart meds,meant that he could bleed.Instead he has to have a camera into his lung,this coming Thursday at 3.00pm.I will post as soon as they have found out what it is.He changes between saying that there is nothing wrong and then, he has known for a long time,that something was wrong.I do feel so very sad for him, as he has tried so hard to get fit after his heart attacks.

Any news TeddyIII?

Steer him to the nearest bag wash to do his washing then . How rude is he. You shouldn't have to put up with that. Take care

Teddy111, it is really good to hear he isn't a violent man because so many "controlling" people are like that when thwarted. It really sounds like he has a streak of hardcore thriftiness running through him which is making things more unpleasant with age and illness. I should be inclined to bide my time until his hospital appointment and watch him carefully for behaviour which seems out of character.

Well that's what her husband must imagine mustn't he?!!

Also words fail me regarding him thinking it's acceptable to bath or shower only once a week, let alone the plan to extend it to three.
There is absolutely no way I would share a bed (or even a house come to that) with a man who was that unhygienic.

Lol imagining Teddy is sitting there feeling bored and thinking "Oh I do love the sound of that washing machine I think I'll put it through another unnecessary empty cycle again this afternoon" :D

Well Jennifer, even leaving aside the "unacceptable" there is "impractical" and "impossible". I mean, the washing machine frequency is dictated by the clothes pile size not an arbitrary choice.

I think the important thing here is this - is this awful behaviour new? Was he previously a kind thoughtful loving husband?
Somehow reading between the lines of your post Teddy I get the feeling he may always have been somewhat of a difficult controlling man.
Your comment about him hating your son is very telling isn't it? Yes I am sure he hates the fact that he is an alcoholic, but to hate HIM is so harsh.

In the meantime ill or not his behaviour is totally unacceptable, so don't put up with any 'washing machine on only once a week' nonsense

Heartfelt sympathy Teddy. I know what it is like to be on the receiving end of vitriolic comments, though not the unreasonable suggestions re economy.It sounds as though he is ill

How dreadful, Teddy! (((Hugs))) Hope everything is clearer after the 8th.

Best wishes, teddy. Hope everything is ok with your husband, even if he is a miserable old sod!