Faithfulness

Have you thought about going for counselling? Talking through your problem with a therapist, may help you see how your behaviour or attitudes have led you to make bad choices in the past and how to change them to make better ones in the future

I have a sister in law in exactly the same situation. She says herself she's always made poor decisions and as OP says I think she has an emotionally needy air about her which makes her into a doormat-in all areas of her life.
Surely it's better to be on happily on your own than put up with this sort of behaviour?

I suppose you need to weed out people right from the start, if there are issues which raise a niggle of doubt in your mind. You said your man friend kept his phone and iPad coded and locked. Did you wonder why? If you did, but ignored the feeling or dismissed it, then that would maybe be a starting point in a new relationship. No secrets is a good rule.

There's an old saying:
Hygamous hogamous women are monogamous.
Hogamous hygamous men are polygamous.
Not always true though.

My mother always said 'happily single is better than unhappily married',

I m another who after two unfaithful husbands finds life alone far easier to adapt to Life can go in whatever direction you want and looking for a man to fulfill you is not the way forward obviously if a good one comes along don’t turn him away ( I m no man hater just make poor choices it seems or maybe it’s just the luck of the draw) but it really isn’t necessary to have a man by your side to lead a fulfilled life

Personally I am very happy being on my own. I think counselling would help you talk through past problems and think about what you want in the future.
Good luck.

Thank- you for your response. I am really greatfull for your honest input

I wholeheartedly agree with your final statement. It is so much better being on your own than being with the wrong person. My advice to you is don't look for somebody else to make you happy, or whole, or be your rock, or safe, or whatever you are looking for. You can do, and be, all those this for yourself. Raise a glass to yourself, look forward and not backward, and don't give those idiot men from your past another thought.

I personally feel women can have a happy life without having a man in it but if you feel you would like to have a new relationship, before you start again have you considered having some therapy to help you look at what hasn't worked I.n the past.

Research shows a link between childhood abuse and abuse/poor relationships in adulthood. Adults often subconsciously give out the same vulnerability, signals which allows them to continue to be treated badly.

I hope this year gives you more of what you want and need.