We have lived in a block of 4 flats for 4 and a half years, and we have got along well with everyone until this January, when our upstairs neighbour of 84 seems to have flipped. I thought we got on particularly well with our U(pstairs) N(eighbour), being asked in for cups of tea, a biscuit, and the latest goings on, particularly on her health issues.
Mid-January we came back from a 5-week absence to find that our basement flat had been flooded, and UN invited us to sleep in her spare bedroom, which we did for 4 nights, and then returned to our sodden domain. Since which time we have been persona non grata. My DH and I have separately been subjected to extreme bad temper from our UN, for no apparent reason, witnessed by our shared gardener. She also inadvertently copied us in to an email to the other three flat dwellers, telling them that we were aggressive bullies. One of the other flat dwellers, the administrator for the block has gone with this, and responded in like manner, without justification. The third party to this is sensibly keeping well out of this.
A month later my DH was at the flat supervising the gardener, which he does most weeks, and the UN came out and poured out a lot of vitriol about how nice the people in the flats had been until we arrived, witnessed by the shared gardener and a friend of hers.
The UN does suffer a lot from anxiety, which is very common in the elderly, and a lot of pain from her feet. She is concerned about her financial situation as she is asset rich, but cash poor, and was possibly worried that our flooding will clean out the sinking fund for the flats into which we all pay, for just such emergencies. The flood was due to blocked rainwater drains caused by lack of maintenance and which is not covered by insurance.
I have witnessed a couple of occasions where the UN really struggled with anxiety, pain, frustration as she tried to make a decision, some of which have been unusual/weird. I assume this has led to her dramatic mood changes, which is also common in the elderly. But I feel that she has just projected her frustration and anger on to us. Having consulted a doctor, she does not have dementia.
I have asked her out to lunch in company with mutual friends who lived in the flats until a year ago, to thank her for having us to stay the 4 nights, and in an attempt to defuse the situation. Anybody got any other ideas?
Good Morning Saturday 16th May 2026
