Support for all who are living with estrangement (2)

Smiles, it was on sorry you didn't see it. It is still there www.parliamentlive.tv/Event/Index/14e8bd6c-f80a-4335-a005-f06993e15d87

May I, as a fairly new "gal on the site" add my voice to the already grand chorus thanking you for offering us all a warm and comforting shelter Joannab...... in those times of the unexpected when we find ourselves possibly all alone or simply laden down with heavy broken family issues when life can become extremely lonely..

No mean task and I can only add that I wish you every strength in your role here........... adding [ flowers} and my support.

I don't know what it is I have done, but before the awful wedding (which followed 2 yrs late with divorce) my son has stopped talking to me. He has totally cut me out of his life. I don't know why, nor can I ask him as he has blocked my emails, Fb, Mobile & house number.

Before "she" entered into our lives the three of us were incredibly close - Mother, son & daughter. We would stick up for each other and help out & weather the storm together.

Then in Jan this year, I became very depressed, & tried to end my lonely life. But I stupidly contacted my daughter who was in Australia (she is working her way around the Globe) to ask for her forgiveness, as I could not hold on to her promise I made in '05 when I OD'd. She has in turn discussed this with her brother, & has now joined him in cutting me out of her life. I have no way of contacting either of them -

So, I am alone, childless, no family, very few friends due to working such stupidly long hours so both of my children could have the education they needed (He was too bright, got bored & became a nuisance, she has really bad dyslexia).

Their father abandoned them in 2006 for a woman who "hated children" (our children were teenagers), & made him cut all ties with people from his life BEFORE her!

What is so sad is I was in my car, when my daughter went to see her father - he failed to recognise her, then when she said who she was, he told her it was "inconvenient".

I know they feel they have been let down by both parents, I have spent the time from His leaving trying to be everything to both of the children who are now 30 & 34.

It's really incredibly sad.

I'm not saying I couldn't have a relationship with them Norah I'm just not sure if it would be a GP/GC relationship as they'd be all grown up and we wouldn't have had those early childhood relationships with them.

It would be a relationship between adults, which I would hope would be enriching for all concerned, it just wouldn't be the same. You've had a relationship with your GC from the beginning as was your relationship with your GP's.

I had an adult relationship with my GM which was a natural progression of the relationship I had with her as a child. It was rooted in my earliest childhood memories.

GC who've never known their GP's due to estrangement don't have those memories. They may sadly, only have memories of the awful things their parents have said about them in order to justify their absence.

Well I tuned in Minty but the debate never happened as the one on the Windrush Generation went on and on. I think the treatment they've received is awful but it wasn't a debate. One MP after another getting up and saying exactly the same things as the one who'd spoken before.

I listened for a while in case it ended but gave up at 6.00pm. I'm not surprised some of them fall asleep.

If you hear of it coming up again, could you let us know?

Smileless, I had adult relationships with my GPs and do with my adult GCs, why couldn't you if they came to you?

Ooops forgot to say thanks Minty luckily Mr. S. is here to lend a hand in case I experience any technological difficulties.

Oh I hope you get one one day Luckylegs. She's a proper handful but ever so sweet.

I have no illusions about our GC contacting us when they're older. They may well be hostile because of the reasons they've been given for our absence in their lives and if that were the case, well we wouldn't want to see them again.

I'm not sure they'd bother to track down their GP's for that reason alone though but even if you got on well, they'd be adults and I doubt whether it would be possible to have a GP/GC relationship with them.

Smileless in my opinion, there isn't a better dog than a Cockerpoo, I really want one, but when I do, I just know I could never leave him or her to go on holiday again, there are still places to see. When I have the wanderlust out of my system, then I will hopefully get my Cockerpoo, I have the name ready, will stay in dog friendly hotels here. Dogs and most animals, just give all the love and more back, no treading on egg shells, they are what they are which is so refreshing.
As far as gc reappearing late in life when they have had no connection for all their childhood, I just think sometimes, be careful of what you wish for.

So as promised here is link again for the debate this afternoon www.parliamentlive.tv/Commons you will need to click on Westminster Hall it is 4:30pm

Yes please Minty from me too.

Yes please Minty

I will post another link on the day if that would help?

So if I click on the link on Wednesday at 4.30, will I be able to hear the live debate Minty? It's not easy being a technophobe

Forgot double brackets!!!!!!! www.parliamentlive.tv/Commons

You can listen on Wednesday at 4:30pm [https://www.parliamentlive.tv/Commons]

Of course it goes without saying, I would have thought, that if there is a proven safeguarding issue that is a completely different matter. You will note as well, as has already been said, this is about the right of the grandchildren, not the right of grandparents. I hope this info is helpful, if not then just ignore.

Luckylegs - note I was talking about the child's rights to know the grandparents, not vice versa. Of course the child may waive the right and not be forced to see the grandparent. Of course I agree that abusive or harmful grandparents cannot have the right to demand to see the child. But if teenage child says "I want to meet my estranged/imprisoned grandparent" then a way should be found to safely facilitate that.

Your right there Minty full time and it appears night time.

I've arranged for some training which will start next Tuesday. I spoke to the trainer this morning and told him she's going to the toilet during the night; 1's and 2's. Gross first thing in the morning as she's paddled it everywhere.

I've been giving her her last meal at 6.00pm and he said not after 5.00pm. Take her water away at 8.00pm, which I've been doing, and set the alarm for 2.00am so I can take her out to do her business.

Thanks for that info., I've emailed our MP.

Good to see your post ggfor you and your DD you know that we are all here for you and even when you're not posting, you're in our thoughts.

I agree that any GP or P for that matter who poses danger to a child should not be allowed any contact. That said, as many of us know only to well, you don't have to be a danger to be denied your GC, just not wanted around by the parents.

Ready meals, you cannot be serious. If the grandparents are in any way a danger to a child, no way should they get to know them. Any person that molests a child should be kept as far away as possible. It upsets me to think anyone would find it acceptable, willing to expose their children to such a person, they wouldn't get anywhere near mine for sure.
Granny grace, nice to hear from you, but sad about your Dil, fingers crossed that Wednesday will bring positive news that will set Dil on the road to recovery. Well done you for being a loving support to your family. God bless.?

Such a worrying time for you all

for you Grannygrace and for your DD.

Hello ladies,sorry I have been AWOL for so long.I spent 3 weeks in Deon helping my SIL with the house and girls.My DD is still in hospital 8 weeks after being admitted,and another stint in Intensive care,due to an error by a member of staff.But that's another story. It would be to complicated for me to explain DD's illness as I don't really understand it myself,but there are only 100 other reported cases. She has been through the mill darling girl,had a spinal biopsy last Wednesday of which we get results next Wednesday. Been an horrendous time,and cased yet more family problems,but good to see the thread is still going strong and the support ongoing. Much love to all.

Agnurse, perhaps not the young children in those cases - but they should have the opportunity around 16 or so when they're old enough to understand who they are meeting and why

Readymeals I'm sorry but you don't expose children to an abuser. EVER. It only takes a moment for someone's concentration to lapse and something to happen. My GFIL molested his own daughter over the course of several years and physically abused his other children. But FIL thought it perfectly acceptable to bring his children round. If GFIL was still alive we would NOT be going to see him. We don't see FIL as it is because he financially abused us, body-shamed myself and our impressionable young daughter, and tried to destroy our marriage. If we have more children he will not be meeting them.

Minty....Which Channel ?

I do believe the children have a right to know their grandparents as well as both parents. Where the grandparent or parent is a danger to the child, the meetings can be supervised and limited in nature.

Looking after a new puppy is a full time occupation! Nothing like that unconditional relationship.
Some of you may well know about this already, "I am pleased to tell you that Nigel Huddleston MP has been allocated a debate on Wednesday May 2nd at 4:30pm, it is entitled 'Grandchildren's access to grandparents.' It will be streamed live. A quick email to your MP would be a good idea, asking them to support the debate.