How long do you go without speaking to someone?

What upsets me most is that no one calls to my home. I go and call on others but they never call on me. I am cautious re going out at night, as I have a dog, and new neighbours, who may disturb him. Although I do leave the radio on.

I ring the one relation I have left regularly but she never calls me. I have one good friend but she has a neice and brother who visit her for lunch every Sunday. It is Sunday and holidays like Christmas and Easter when families get together that I feel alone.

I am trying to find a bungalow in a nice over 55 community but they are hard to find. One for sale near were I used to work and the church the school was attached to. Just been told it is "under offer" don't really know what that means.

When you say you can't leave the house, does it mean you dont have one of those car things that whizz along? Or that there isnt a dial a ride in your area? Or that you can't ask anyone into your home? I have several friends who visit housebound friends weekly. Or a shared taxi service for some things. Ours is organised by an older persons group & seems to go to Sainsbury mostly. Costd £5 per person. Takes 4 - 10 depending on demand.

Several days at a time. I am mounting a personal campaign to discover ways to stop the loneliness. I have my grandaughter 2 days a week, she is two, and I long for adult company. So, l have joined the local art club, tried the choir, but you only get to sing and there's no time to make friends, so am hopefully doing some private fostering in the autumn for a Chinese girl from Macau who wants to study in the U.K. Fingers x'd. It would mean I have someone to take care of again. And exploring any other ways to make new friends now my son has fled the nest. But it is difficult if you are disabled.

That's a very pertinent point MissA

I can go days not chatting to anyone and that’s fine as I’m happy in my own company.
I have a dog so I know my voice still works lol

I think its easy to say it doesn't bother you not to speak to anyone. I found it incredibly easy when it was a choice.
When you realise it no longer is, and there is nobody to say "how did you get on?" it becomes a different matter entirely.

I think as some get older we lose the energy and enthusiasm to actually join groups. All that small talk . When I was young I loved it. We just need a few good friends but I have found my friends and I have moved and then it’s difficult to make really good friends. I go to a women’s group. Last one in. They have known each for years. I must have gone at least 10 times. I think they know my name but I am just talked at. So last time I thought I really can’t be bothered to go. Is it just me?

Being alone and being lonely are of course not necessarily the same thing.
But I do wonder if one of the reasons older people are so willing to chat to strangers, checkout assistants etc is that they have few people to speak to? Apart from just being nice, friendly people that is!

I love going out on long walks by myself, so that I don’t have to talk to anyone. I know it’s different if you are in forced isolation, but I love my own company - no arguments, no put downs and no criticisms. I just love it. I can do what I like ,see what I like and eat what I like.

I haven,t spoken to my wife for years..can,t get a word in.

I spend so much time chatting in text or forums that I have begun to find speaking and handwriting unfamiliar and a bit of a hassle lol

As long as it takes. I certainly don't go out of my way to make inane conversation with strangers and my children have commented that it's normally old people who chat to strangers at bus stops or in shops. I make sure that I'm not one of them if I ever catch a bus.
Meanwhile, I'm perfectly happy with my own company and could go weeks or months without conversation if I had to, without resorting to talking to myself.

For me, days can go by without talking to another soul. Walking the dog does help, I find other dog walkers at least greet you and will sometimes stop for a chat.

Me too! I have to find people to talk to. It is more or less impossible to ever get a direct answer from OH without him creating riddles.

What is wrong with answering "Yes" or "No".

I agree with Anniebach if you can get out at all then, as we discuss many times on GN, you have a wide choice of things to join to get talking but the difficult one to solve is those who can't go out. Many people are not attached to a church now, I know when I was young my non-conformist parents did a lot of house and hospital visiting to those on their own and enjoyed lots of chat and laughter plus the inevitable cups of tea.

nanpops, some here are widows, some cannot get out to the library or anywhere else , some are full time carers for husbands

www.thesilverline.org.uk/

Esther Rantzen set up Silverline (link above) to try to help combat loneliness in older people.

Sorry to all my letter is so long I just got carried away it a problem that I need to stop and slow down and check before I send but enjoy I’d possibke my story ... what shall I call it ..Cool Nanny always into to something and that true ! Another idea I just thought off I love going to our local The
THEATRE once again friends can be made their so no eacuses really. Take care x

I find with my hubby he just just to me been involed with the grandkids for years .so not much chat going on with him. .. we always say that just how he is ..But now that the grandchildren are growing up , and most times just doing their own thing 7 of them 12 to 26. And one great grand child 2 months old ....I am so lucky really all live In same town ..But see them on and off for their Hugs which is a must every time we see each other 4 boys 12 15 19 19 But never too big to give Nanny a Hug and they do .where ever we are . Same as the 3 girls. 16. 22 ( 26 a mummy now bless her ). But now days u call them my IT I pad or Tablet grand children .. So I see them every day and chat to them on Face book Instagram Twitter Skype . I am glad I have learnt to do this As a few years ago I thought to my self it the only way to go to keep up with them . So my local library helped me so much to get this far ..also helped me keeping in contact with friends .AS NOW DAYS Thst all people do , nit many phone calls just chatting on here ,But where would be without it I think now ., As learning to chat to my husband and relising how much he has took a back seat I am sorry now of course because time has come to try and do something for us .And Believe me it not easy .. In fact it hard work . But we getting their slowley .. He also Into his Tablet and I pad . Reads every news paper and cards playing . So now if I am not careful it be me taking back seat because I just love to chat and more chat .., I love going meeting up with people friends or strangers shopping buses my mobility scottor and just chatting . And now also on here . Just got to take life as it is now days .. And reach out learn new things , join places where you know people are .. Your local library would always have little meetings going on. . Quiz days , book clubs or just topics chats . I go sometimes to these . And Joined swimming club for Health reasons and love it .. Now a few of us have coffee afterwards 2 Days a week. .. But got to say I do support my local library by donations for coffees etc. But I love me fire kindle , So love reading as you can. Tell Also I joined a creative writing class Amanzing .. But never been good at Grammer or spelling , but told to just carry on and I did .. Got 5 stars did 4 of my story’s and read out to a class full of people. ,
Tears in deeed and you Hubby and family were all so Proud for giveing it a go and for also for trying to move on , and takening my retirement in a better way .. I did not enjoy giveing up work , hated it in fact ,,Worked on a Milatery base for 32 years. With my hubby with our catering Trayler which was our life ...Metting so many young trainees Growing up through the years . Basics to start with than following their careers to be what ever they wanted in the RAF.
So the chats were with so many people over the years , I think hubby and myself just stop talking for a year or more because we missed it so much we were the young Basic mentors .,As soom were first time away from home and over the years we found that home sickness was def their and affecting their traning . So the C Officers over the years asked us to just simply be there for them that needed a little chat .And I think that was so many . So we become Mum Dad , Aunt Uncle , Friends to the older ones , as years went on we now become Gran and Granddas ... Than worked stop did not mind that really ,But I So so missed the Young and a# they got older years went by for them and they came back for courses . We heard so many story’s of their life’s and Become Mums dads children. Post abroad fighting somenot coming back .It was our life and boy did I miss it more then my husband .. So you got to get out their and still
Live fins things to do because you can . Don’t be lonely or sad . Please try it can work. God bless all x

Not seeing or speaking to another human was the most difficult part of the recent bad weather for my 90yo mum. She did make use of her phone, though, to catch up with people. She was glad to be able to get out again once the weather improved, even if just to the shop.

This was a problem I had when we lived in France. Our house was very isolated, and I had to go out in the car to find people to speak to.
Now back in England it's a different problem - there are plenty of people around, but mostly they don't talk. Going for walks I usually say hello to those I pass, but normally their eyes are fixed ahead.
Strangely, the last few days, when the weather has been so horrible and there were fewer walkers, they were much more responsive. Had a few short chats.

I am beginning to suspect that some of us might be married to a serial bigamist, so similar are our husbands

I think it's a difficult one...often being with people irritates me but when ive been alone for more than two days, I feel very lonely.
.
O

Me too! I have to compete with the newspaper during the day and the TV news in the evening

Me too. I know it is very different for those who live alone, but there is very little conversation in this house. DH does not discuss or chat. No animosity, it is his nature. He doesn't listen either. That can be lonely at times.