How long do you go without speaking to someone?

When there were only me and my husband, I could go 12 hours a day without speaking to anyone while he had his long shift. I remember when I yawned in the evening, I could always smell my own breath. I am an introvert though. If I don't have specific things to say I usually stay quiet anyway.

In England, I chat to anyone, anywhere. My husband looks embarrassed when I do this, as he's not that kind of person. However, after twelve years in North West Spain, where people don't even answer you when you speak, I noticed that (but this was in England) my husband started up a conversation with a stranger. A giant step forward for husbandkind, I think.

I think I spend about 90% of my time alone. I don't mind solitude and am used to my own company. I am still working but have no colleagues as such, but do have overall control of an orthopaedic private practice so mainly email/phone contacts. At home it does feel more lonely. As is always the case, things change - people move on and sadly people die. I am surrounded by short-term rented out properties now, a very transient population of younger people working away for long hours. This wasn't case a few years ago and it was a friendly place to live. There are many things I enjoy doing on my own, but sometimes I do feel isolated despite making the effort to get out and about. This has become more difficult since I developed a spinal condition so that walking/standing and general mobility is reduced. I just feel a lonely future looming once I do retire.

For those of us who miss a chat, I just want to say, take the opportunity when it crops up.
This afternoon I went out for my usual walk. First, sitting near the tills in Sainsbury's, I had a long chat with a lady of near my age. Very interesting.
Next, I was sitting on a dedicated seat overlooking the sea, and a man asked if he could join me. An interesting person, a Greek Cypriot who had married an english woman. Told me he had 3 heart attacks. I said I had 2 stents - he said he had 3 stents!
So 2 good chats.

In one village near us they have a weekly lunch for folk who live alone. These are mostly but not all retired folk. As it is lunch time, it's not so convenient for working people,, but there is no age limit. Volunteers provide a home-cooked two course lunch plus tea or coffee for £5.

I have one like that too, sometimes he agrees to do things he wouldn't normally do. It's great when he agrees with the DGSs and he is waist high in the sea wearing wadeders

My friend died a few years ago and I miss her company, we would often ring each other just for a chat or ask what are you doing, meet up and then go out maybe just for a roam around the shops. Also I have been housebound for 3 weeks this year after having my knee replaced and was dependent on my husband taking me out. This got us both thinking what would we do if we were on our own for company and we came to the conclusion that my OH would find it the hardest. So he is now going to Pilates once a week in a group that is all women and they invite him to join them for coffee afterwards. It’s a start I have people around me but I still feel lonely,

Margs The hospital patients are probably so wound up by their stressful appointment with the consultant that they desperately need a friendly ear to tell it all to. Perhaps you would be happier walking to the next bus-stop, leaving them to find someone else, who doesn't get glazed eyes when they listen? Better for them, and the exercise would be good for you - you sound as though you are younger and healthier than most of us.

I am still trying to get my head around someone's very bizarre statement that Esther Rantzen is a public nuisance with her Silverline scheme.

I am sure it has enabled many older people to feel less isolated.

Cabbie. Open with a question. How are you. Lovely day. How did you get here. Have you been before.

I am glad to read that others talk to themselves as well as me. I thought it was a bad things and actually spoke out loud to tell myself not to talk to myself!!

Although I live in Retirement Flats I can go a couple of days without talking to anyone, but that's my choice, could knock on someones door with some excuse if I really wanted company, and indeed my next door neighbour does knock on my door with excuses - I'm not all that keen on her company! But I always ask her in as realize she is lonely.

It will only be once a week.

My church is about to start a drop in cafe (just drinks and snacks) aimed to cater for people who find themselves on their own, eg single, bereaved, newly retired, just moved to the area etc.
I am open to suggestions how to create conversation, without imposing it, and how to avoid it defeating its own object.
There are already numerous groups in our small town, including U3a, but this one will have no particular theme.

Grandparents who are looking after pre-school children round here are made very welcome at 'Baby and Toddler' groups. The one I help at/attend with my GS, nearly a year old, has a mix of grandparents, Mums, Dads and childminders and the antics of the little ones make a great starting point for conversation. If you are at home with small children and want a chat, please find a group like ours.

My mother, after we’d all left home and my father away a good deal on business, used to turn it on it’s head as ‘Peace, perfect peace with loved ones far away.’

I work 4 days a week but often in the holidays or weekend I can go 3 or 4 days without speaking to anyone it doesn't bother me much at all . I enjoy my own company after years of bringing up a family and being in an unhappy marriage for years I relish the peace and quiet

Loneliness can affect anyone, not just people living on their own. Many carers who live with someone with dementia can feel isolated as their loved one may have very limited conversation. There are lots of telephone and visiting Befriending schemes in the UK which can help Not only the person living alone but who are always looking for volunteers www.befriending.co.uk

My life's pretty good these days but, after my divorce 15 or so years ago, from when I left work on Friday I wouldn't speak to a single soul till work on Monday. One Saturday I phoned my landline using my mobile to see if my phone was working [it was]. Later that night I dialled 1471 and was excited to see that there had been a missed call. Of course, it was me phoning me with my mobile. I think I phoned the Samaritans that night and said to them 'I'm sorry to phone you; I'm not suicidal but I just wanted to hear someone's voice'. I always tried to give lots of time to the elderly patients at our surgery when they were booking in because I realised that it was the only time that some of them got to speak to someone.

i think confidence goes as well for some people.

Babs53, you gave started a thread that will helpful to a lot of people. Those that are housebound and don't speak for days are in the worst position. How nice if try could come on this thread and chat to others in the same circumstances. For those of us, who can get out and about, it still gets lonely when you go a few days without company. I make a point of passing the day with people when out and about, that lady at the bus stop, who spoke about personal things and her health, was probably worried and didn't have anyone to offload on to. Does it really hurt to just listen and for her to feel not do alone for a while? As people age and families become fractured or move away, friends or your spouse die, in a short while your life can change hugely. It applies to everyone. You can send private messages as well as coming on here, so there is awaits someone to listen.

I can go weeks at a time without speaking to anyone, unless the telephone goes.

Let me add, I am physically able to go out, I can drive etc etc. How awful it must be for people who are housebound and the only "chat" they have is with their carer, who for obvious reasons, don't have the time to hang around "chit chatting"..... so sad!!

I don’t count talking to husband as it’s only an odd word and not a conversation. Saturday is probably the only day I don’t speak to anyone

*would

Being a widow doesn't prevent someone from going out any more than being divorced or single does.
Libraries often have the names of clubs and local meetings where volunteers will pick you up and take you home.
If you're a carer for a family member, there should be provision in place (via social services) for someone to care for that person whilst the carer has 2 or 3 hours 'off' which woukd enable them to have a social life.
It's easy to think of why one can't get out to make friends but, with a bit of positivity, most people can make changes that benefit their wellbeing.