Sons marriage in crisis

He is getting the right help. DIL needs the support of all of you to understand that it isn't really about his feelings towards her, but that he is unwell. Time and proper treatment will carry him forward.

None of it is your fault. A DD of mine has a mental health problem - I never think about it being anyone's fault. It is just bad luck.

How wonderful that they both have your love and support

The fact that he is so well loved and is already receiving help bodes well.
All you can do is go on supporting each other as you're doing as a close family.

I do identify with your feelings of failing as a mum but we have to accept that we aren't superhuman, can't foresee crises, don't have the ability to solve all the problems within our families.
Take comfort in the fact that you are clearly excellent parents and as nfk says - hang on there.

If you need to get things off your chest this is the place! Now breeeathe!

This is what we keep telling them both, she's hurt and angry at the minute which i understand so he's staying here to give her a break, she Does want things back on track but realises it won't happen over night, we can only do our best and hope it all works out I guess

Got the t-shirt. I can only say that provided DiL still loves him they will in all probability come through this ok. Apparently it’s quite common. Your DS may well think he has little feeling for DiL, but given time he’ll realise this is part of the breakdown and withdrawal and his love is still there. It’s brilliant that he got the help he needs so quickly.

Hang in there and good luck

Thank you for your support it really helps to be able to vent somewhere other than in my poor husbands ear!
My son is getting help, DIL took him to hospital and they have got him fast tracked for therapy and he is on meds now, they recognised immediately what was going on thank goodness. He's always been sensitive and struggled a bit when they moved from us in to their first home but he's also confident, has a great job and adapted to fatherhood far easier than we expected, he adores his daughter and does everything for her.
He says it just all overwhelmed him one day and he had to tell his wife everything as he was having a panic attack. She has just gone back to work so the timing couldn't have been worse as he was in the childcare Rota so she's had to go to Nursury for an extra day while we muddle through.

I know what will be will be but boy it's hard, husband says there will always be a brick wall along the way , you just find a way through it or over it you just never turn back! Xx

I think you are in shock especially just having the baby you adore and coming back off holiday and having no idea this was coming
You won’t be the first or last many of us on here are watching our families as we know it break before our eyes just as my mum and dad must have watched when it happened to me, their only child, so throw away the guilt that’s sapping strength you need for other things you can’t always ‘see’ mental health problems coming
Practically do what you can , help with the baby as much as needed, continue to be there for both as you are anyway , (you are very very lucky you have a husband by your side)

Is your son open to talking ? Can you get him to the doctor he needs professional help as soon as possible? With the right help they can get back on track or find a decent way of staying apart Talk to your daughter in law too she may well be in shock but most of all accept it’s nothing you ve done wrong and be by both their sides, through this difficult time and good luck

Jane10 our posts crossed!

Others with more experience will come and offer practical ideas on this forum I'm sure, but I think you are doing exactly the right thing by supporting your family and being there for them, and you have nothing to blame yourself for. You are obviously a loving and caring mother. Having a baby can be a testing time in a family, with the upheaval that ensues to life, so it may be things improve later. Please be kind to yourself x

Oh dear. What a sad and difficult situation. Some men do find the transition to being a dad as opposed to a husband difficult. Did he always have a problem with change?
I can't say more than that you sound such a kind sensible person that I'm sure you'll be a big help to the family.