challenging behaviour in a 7yr old

geordiejoy Hello

I wish I had some helpful advice for you.
We have family member on a working diagnosis with no forthcoming help

I hope a more knowledgeable GNer will be along shortly.

The National Autistic Society, NAS, have a helpline, it may be a good place to start. 0808 800 4104

Yes, geordie have been through this scenario unfortunately. You must contact Social Services for a start, and try and get what help you can, find out what you are entitled to.You may have a fight on your hands educationally, but try for a special autism school, or at worst an autism unit within a primary school.Nothing will be easy,
So prepare for that.The poor boy isn’t behaving badly on purpose, he cannot help how he behaves and it’s really important for all the family to understand that.He will get anxious and confused and kick out.Good luck.

I m sure the kicking and hitting is a release he has been cooped up all day in school and maybe in a school his over sensitive senses can’t handle at all and his ‘language’ is to kick out
The main things to remember are
a) he is not being naughty
b) he is not hating his family
Often children on the Autistic spectrum cannot manage a lot of noise their senses are acutely sensitive think of the noise in a normal school and imagine him being ‘locked’ into that situation for six hours every day, when he is released he may scream he may run around he may hit and kick or he may dissolve in a corner somewhere
You will of course manage as a family but you need guidance on how to diffuse situations how to make things more comfortable for your grandson and how to understand what’s going on for him
Keep looking for help, it is out there, google groups in your area, other parents are experts
Good luck it is going to be a very hard road but it is manageable with help and guidance

I would guess that he has been really well behaved at school. My granddaughter would behave in a very similar way once she was safe at home, and school didn’t even believe that she was on the spectrum at all. Her mum found very simple almost babyish play would help, for example water play, slime or on a very bad day a big box she could climb in and shut herself off from the world.

With my gorgeous GS, who is slightly older, when he has been overloaded at school, or if in a social situation (family meal at a restaurant). He goes on his iPad or Nintendo switch with earphones in, it just takes him out of his surroundings for a bit. If it's a really noisy restaurant/situation which is unavoidable we let him sit under the table.

It is heartbreaking to see them so upset and unsettled, you have just got to find all your patience resources.

Most of all just love him for who he is, your gorgeous grandson.

Have you tried Contact a Family? They are good for advice and information also general support, sometimes local groups. Wishing you all well. It must be a worrying situation.

If he now has a EHCP to meet his diagnosis of autism then this should include help and strategies for family to support him when not at school..which is a significant time! If there is a specialist school nearby, even if he is not attending, they may offer outreach and be able to offer school/family some help and advice on how to reduce triggers for his distress.

All children with autism are different just as children without are so what works for one child won't always work for another. Also children with or without autism can be 'good' or 'naughty' ..just much harder to know with a child with autism how much is within the child's ability to control and how much is the autism. The spectrum is wide.

Some parents want their child in a specialist school or unit others prefer a supported place at mainstream. geordiejoy has your grandson had a diagnosis but not yet assessed for an EHCP? Parents and carers have a greater 'voice' now in EHCP processes so hope that your DS & DiL have been /will be fully involved.

Good luck I really do hope that the school, education dept and national organisations can offer the family the support they need.

I would recommend seeing if she can find a local support group for parents with autism. There are also online support groups that she may find helpful.

Autistic children often display challenging behaviours. Understandably, it can be difficult for parents to cope. An occupational therapist may also be helpful as they can suggest activities that can help to calm him down. Sometimes sensory activities and products, such as kinetic sand or weighted blankets, can be helpful for children on the spectrum.

www.norfolksendpartnershipiass.org.uk/ may have helpful information

Thank you for your reponse. It mostly gives ressurance that we are not the only family with this experience Someone else who understands is comforting even if there isnt an easy answer.