Struggling-need advice

Frankly every weekend is WAY too much. I'd suggest cutting back on the visits or telling them they need to stay in a hotel.

You're not obligated to host them.

One weekend a month should be plenty. I don't even see my parents that often and they have a great relationship with DSD.

Hi Jesswest! Before I comment, can you tell me why they insist on staying every weekend but not in the Summer months.

Whatever the reason for their visits they are way too frequent. I'd also suggest they cut back on their visits to once a month but even that sounds too much for an entire weekend. I'd have to tell them they are interfering with your social life as you're unable to see anyone else because they are always there. You shouldn't have to share your time with your friends with the in laws as well. I'd find it suffocating tbh. You're going to have to tell them straight they are visiting too often and life is becoming stressful because of it. Hard to imagine why they can't see this for themselves tbh.

I knew it! Wish I'd placed a bet now!

Firstly, does your husband need to work all weekend? It seems wrong that he's away and only sees his own parents for a couple of hours, yet you are left with them for the whole time.

If it were me, I'd be telling my husband he should spend more time at home with his children, and his mum and dad needn't stay then.

Your inlaws sound as though they are trying to help you by being there, at hand to help you with your children - but that's your husband's duty.

I agree that every weekend is far too often, but perhaps one weekend a month might be better?

Incidentally, my own inlaws didn't care a toss about my children as they were always too busy with their daughter and he mob.

Very cryptic Chewbacca !!!

Lynne her husband works with sport so won't have a choice about weekends.

Jess I assume you are in the USA so think it is hard to offer advice from the UK where we may do things differently. I agree it is too much but the only advice I can give is that you suggest you go and stay with them every other weekend and see how that goes down. In one way it would be more upheaval for you but then your MiL might see things differently after a few weeks and realise it if hard work. You could look after your baby and leave her to do all the work!

What a good idea Nonnie I would suggest a change of venue Jesswest why don’t you visit your in-laws for a change make this a suggestion and see how it goes down. I know it’ll be a bit of a disruption getting things prepared for a journey with 2 little ones but make it an adventure for you and your family. Give the in-laws a little taste of what it’s like to have weekend visitors and I’m sure they’ll recognise how busy things are likely to be.

That’s a good idea. We haven’t visited their house in quite some time so maybe this is a good way to mix things up!

Or you could go and stay with a friend or your parents.
Leave them in the house on their ow?

This is way too much for you and I'm amazed they cant see this, of course they want to spend time with their grandchildren I completely understand that and bless you for accommodating them so frequently but you can't go on like this!

I don't think they sound like they will take gentle hints so you may have to just bite the bullet and say that you are not going to be available every weekend from now on and to mix it up a bit you will alternate with them every month,

My granddaughter lives 20 minutes away and I see her every week but we don't intrude on their family time and wouldn't dream of popping in every day just because they are on the doorstep, they wouldn't want it and we wouldn't want to do it.

Be polite but firm and explain that it's not leaving you time to do anything else like see your friends or just relax in your own house, you need your husband to back this up also.
There is no getting around the fact that they will likely be put out by this but it's better done now than your resentment growing until it turns in to a bigger issue than it needs to be, good luck! Xx

Chewbacca???

Likewise chewbacca ??
I would suggest you innocently and pleasantly book some other arrangements for some weekends but give them plenty of notice first.