Nasty friends of friends

I am a master at putting myself down (I use it as self defence) reading your post again in response to his “ what do you mean? ugly like you ?” I might have replied “well no maybe not quite that ugly” which might’ve created a laugh and defused the situation . I’m not saying putting yourself down is a good thing because it isn’t but it’s something I often use as a coping mechanism .

My guess is that he, and everyone else, has forgotten it. By constantly thinking about it you are reinforcing the memory. I know it's hard but try to put it out of your mind. If you find yourself thinking about it - switch the thought to something pleasant that happened that evening.

I know how hard it is because I sometimes dwell on things but realise when I do the only person who is hurting is me.

What a horrible thing he is!
I hope someone did hear him (his wife?) and took him to task.

Not worth losing sleep over he’s not your friend it was a silly unfunny and hurtful remark but only you can manage how hurt you let it make you
Don’t let it mar your friendship or even your memories of a nice evening
Some people say things without thinking the word ugly was in his mind from you using it and he used it as a bounce back comment, playground stuff actually it was a silly tit for tat and says more about him than you put it in the bin where it belongs

Just a horrible and very rude man. To be ignored; easier said than done I know.

The problem is a comment like this keeps coming back. Do try to ignore him . He probably thought he was being funny, some people have very odd senses of humour. My dear old Dad, who loved me, always said when I lost weight " Ah but she still casts a good shadow. " He thought that was funny!

I never believed that sticks and stones rubbish, so untrue. I still carry remarks said when I was young, however small. Take care and enjoy your true friends.

Not a nice remark for sure. But, I would just ignore it. Was he inebriated ....alcohol loosens the tongue.
I would try to avoid his company. And btw, I'm sure you are not ugly xx

Words do hurt us though don't they. I have to say I agree with flexiblefriend it was the same word used on both occasions.

sorry but what an utter plonker. I'm quite sure you aren't ugly. He sounds ugly on the inside.

And yes, I would blank him, but some could probably rise above it.

I’m afraid I can’t agree that calling someone ugly to their face is in any way the same as describing an actor, who isn’t there as such. How can it be hurtful in the second case?

It’s a shame none of the other people present pulled this man up, Jaxie. Try not to dwell on it, but I’d have as little as possible to do with him in future.

Head up, keep walking and totally blank him. If you cannot avoid being with him just ignore him. Horrible man.
As for the hostess, she or whoever his other half was should of said something to him.

Crossed posts

I'm sure he didn't mean it. It was probably because he thought you were rude to describe an actor as ugly. Forget about it.

Sticks and stones etc. move on and tbf he was only using the same word as yourself. So ask yourself why that word's so hurtful when used to describe you but not the actor you couldn't remember.

I agree with gilly, he isn't worthy of note!

Meant to add Jaxie that denying she heard will have been a defence mechanism used by your host so as not to have to take sides . Something my sister does too . She wouldn’t want to confront/ upset her friend so pretends she didn’t hear .

Ex policeman bully or not that was a very cruel and hurtful thing to say to anyone . I think if you see him out and about you should hold your head up high . It is he who should feel ashamed . Easier said than done I know but you have to try and rise above . I have had cruel remarks made to me over the years “ oh so you are the ugly sister” being one of them. ( from a close friend of my sister ) . It does hurt I know .