Nasty friends of friends

I thought that was a possibility Rufusmum.

Perhaps (and I'm trying to be charitable) he meant it in an ironic way - ie you aren't ugly and neither is BR.

Flaming autocorrect - Jaxie not Jamie!

I wish you all my best wishes, Jaxie for meeting and dealing with this horrible man again. I am astonished at the posters who just keep repeating “but she called someone ugly!!” as if that makes the original offence negated but if they say it often enough, all the rest of us will cease to have sympathy and empathy with Jamie and feel it was justified. Well, enough of us on here seem to be able to feel sorry for the insult she was dealt and have the milk of human kindness towards an upset lady so as not to make it worse. I’m wishing you all the best for the future Jaxie and hope you are ok.

I do think still that ugly is an ugly word to use about a person. But I also have gained some sympathy for how Jaxie is feeling. And she did say the word slipped out. But this guy has been called too many names!

Well said gillybob. ?

Just try to ignore the unkind posts Jaxie (easier said than done I know) . As you say they know nothing about your personal situation and how their remarks might hurt you. Instead try to concentrate on those offering sympathy and support ( which is where GN can be brilliant) and remember to hold your head up high when/if you meet that dreadful man again .

The poster who thinks I lack perspective has no idea of the personal & health problems I'm tussling with which probably make me more vulnerable to nasty remarks of this type. I gained a great deal of comfort from the support of Gransnetters over this situation. Perhaps the Gransnetters who like to attack the aggrieved person should hold their tongues.

But she herself labelled someone as ugly! ?

How awful for you . I've found people who choose to lash out with provocative comments enjoy the discomfort they cause. All because they feel very inadequate themselves.
It re aligns the power balance making them feel higher in the pecking order.
I'm a sensitive soul with old school values, nasty cutting jibes sting. Its so difficult ,show no defensive reaction. Their horrible words give them no reward if you blank them.

oldbatty Mon 05-Nov-18 21:20:52
Blimey hold the news....silly old duffer kicks off at dinner party after too many brandys and calls nice lady ugly.

Is that it?
.................

oldbatty Love it !!!

I can't believe this thread has dragged on for 9 whole pages following on from a very minor incident that happened at least 10 days ago! Some people on GN are struggling with horrible things in their lives such as ill health and bereavement - where is the perspective? The OP must have got over this by now ... after all, we can't control other people but we can choose how we react. Time to call it a day and let it go, methinks.

Oh! Do come down off your high horse paddyann.
Maybe her friends thought nothing of the sort, why would they think her nasty at all for calling an actor ugly.
You have also gone off on a tangent by inferring that she could be calling her friends behind their backs.
It's quite different saying that some random actor is ugly, against saying it to someone's face.
You are taking pleasure in turning the fault onto the OP.
When the fault is the arsehole who insulted her.
Oh dear! Called him an arsehole, probably wouldn't be invited to any of your parties.
Who cares!
Friends should defend their friends against a rude boor.

Maybe her "friends" think she's the nasty one if its normal for her to call people ugly.I know I'd think twice about asking someone back if they had that attitude towards someone they dont even know.If they can say it about him what are they saying about you behind your back .I am very glad my friends dont have the attitude of many on here who think its OK to see others as ugly.Nice attitude to hand down the generations!

oldbatty - that is it and perhaps a nice glass of red wine accidentally spilling all over him may have been in order.

I think, if we are honest, anyone of us would feel upset by the remark of this rude and obnoxious man. There is no reason why you should have to put up with his company in future. If you are invited to further events with this particular group, you could ask very clearly if this man will be there and politely refuse the invitation if this is the case. You can take back your personal power by refusing to be defined by the opinions of this low-life.

Yes that’s correct Oldbatty, apparently that was his reply to Jaxie describing an actor as rather ugly.

Sorry posted twice

Babybelle, the message from GN says they have received a number of reports about my comments.

Blimey hold the news....silly old duffer kicks off at dinner party after too many brandys and calls nice lady ugly.

Is that it?

I would go as far as to say its quite ugly to report someone to admin.
I can't see where anyone here has overstepped the mark.
Just differing opinions!

The message from GN, said that they had received a number of reports regarding my comments/ post

All?Why,have many people reported you then,Bridgeit?

I can't think why you were reported. I think some people were angry that you didn't share their views. But as long as we try to make our point in a civilised manner we should be allowed to. We have to be able to discuss and debate. GN has helped ne to do this better with friends and others. It's good to listen to others and sometimes see things from another perspective.

Thanks Jalima,Maddyone & Alex, much appreciated