Stopped from seeing my grandchildren

Women don't leave because they are most at risk of escalated violence and murder when they leave and abusive partners make sure they know that!

And do you know which GP they are registered with? They wont discuss it with you but you should still inform them of what is going on.

Sounds like a police matter to me

Typo as soon as possible

Please phone NSPCC first as soo. As possible

Agnes's, putting a towel over the face of a child and punching him in the stomach, then smashing his head into concrete are life threatening, he is fortunate he didn't die, whatever the circumstances of this mans control, the over riding factor is the child's life. No child should be beaten and abused.v all the factors you mention could be sorted at a refuge, they are as nothing compared to the children's suffering.

PallMall, if Social Services are not taking you seriously, I would contact the Health Visitor, they are very much into child safe guarding and would have a legitimate reason to visit the property as your Dd has a baby.
If I could advise you to speak to them calmly and in control as if you go in with "all guns blazing" they might not take notice or think that you are just causing trouble.
DO NOT go on about your daughter or your relationship with your daughter.
Just tell them plainly that you are very, very worried about your Dgs as that he is being punched by his Stepfather.
That is all you need to tell them, they will figure out the rest themselves.
The little boy needs help!

Lynne59. If you ring the NSPCC your referral will just be passed on to the local Child protection services . But it does need doing. These services have been in crisis for the last eight years.

Luckylegs

It's not as simple as her just walking away, for a number of reasons:
-her self-esteem may be so poor she doesn't feel able to leave
-she may have pets he has threatened to harm if she leaves (many shelters won't take animals)
-she may not have money - if they share a bank account or if he controls the account he could freeze their assets
-she may not have a job of her own, or if she does, it may not pay well
-the violence may well escalate if she tries to leave, potentially even to the point of becoming homicidal (not a theoretical risk; there are cases where it has happened and statistically the point where she tries to leave is the most dangerous for her)

This is why most agencies don't just focus on telling the woman to LTB. They focus on helping her to be safe, however that looks for her. Obviously leaving would be best, but it's not always a simple and easy process.

Are you going to be fit enough to fly to Turkey if you are on daily oxygen ? I don’t understand why you would buy six tickets you know your daughter is ‘not allowed’ to come to you, so he d hardly let her go on holiday with you Are they twins that are under one ? That seems an awful handful to go to Turkey as you are so unfit
If you are not able enough to help these children then your husband must set the ball rolling to get some help they can’t be left to be injured and bullied This is an awful situation

Yes, this is an issue, where someone needs to contact someone and make a fuss. As oldbatty says send an email if you are afraid of talking to them direct.

Keep copies or a note of every contact with SS, NSPCC etc etc - and tell them that you are keeping them for the enquiry that will follow if the children or your daughter are seriously injured or killed.

And if you are not yet doing anything even though you know your DD and DGC are being abused, then you better start preparing the explanation you will need to give to the courts as to why you did nothing.

Nobody has responded to my suggestion to write an email to Children's Services.

Something along the lines of " I am concerned about ***. I believe they are not safe. I have witnessed*******"

Never mind the hand wringing, get on with it.

I think that there is probably a lot more going on here which is possibly why she is refusing your requests to see the children. Perhaps something has happened in the past month that she does not want you to know about? I would try to make sure that you see them as a matter of urgency. Think of a reason to go over - taking a gift or something? Or meeting for a coffee? Perhaps you can speak to the 8 year old on the phone? Doing nothing is not an option when, from what you have stated, a child is being abused.

This thread should be called. Why am I allowing my grandchildren to suffer abuse? . It's not about you, it's about the children. They need to be safe, the mother is putting up with the unacceptable, the children shouldn't have to. Contact a site for domestic violence. They are not married, why doesn't she leave? However frightened she is, how frightened must those children be.

gmelon that was my impression too from her original posts but later in the thread she has given more detail of other actions she has taken. It appears to be a complicated, painful and very worrying situation for her grandchild and her daughter and for her too.

Maybe I've inadvertently
misunderstood.
I did think that OP wanted to know what SHE had done wrong.

Yes I've read it all.

gmelon did you actually read the whole thread?!!!

Your question is "what have i done?" !!!
Tickets to Turkey that you've paid for.
Why the hell are you so focused on yourself.
Poor daughter.

Oh my goodness those poor children ? I can only imagine how heartbreaking it is to witness this feeling powerless to stop it. You must continue try to do everything you can to get them away from an awful situation.
Your daughter is an adult and if for reasons that quite frankly baffle me she wants to stay then that's her decision but those poor little mights don't choose to be in that environment, they deserve to be safe and loved as all children do. Never give up trying to fight for them, at the minute you are all they have

I have watched similar and it is utterly heartbreaking. PallMall1964 remember in all of this you need to protect your own health. My situation damaged my health.
I am at my wits end with trying to get through to my relative. She just does not see that she is losing family and friends since she took up with this new partner.
It is so hard to watch knowing that there is really nothing that you can do. As much as we would like to lift up our DD and take them home it is just not physically possible. There is also the fact that DD is turning the abuse on my and GC. I have had GC repeat what I suspect was over heard in the house about me. I really do not want to have another generation of relative being abusive.
I suspect that SS are letting a lot of situations get by them however they are failing GC and GP to whom they have a duty of care.

Ah. I see. I thought they were his children.

I agree that if they're not his kids SS will take a dim view of his behaviour.

Is their natural father involved? I wonder if it would be possible for the children to spend some time with him.

Although you're correct in that she won't be charged if they're not his kids, the fact still remains that the violence could escalate if she attempts to leave. Sadly, as I said, there are cases where violence has become homicidal in these situations. Clearly that would be devastating for the children if the worst happened.

I'm not saying she shouldn't leave or that it's a bad idea. Rather I'm saying it's not as simple as just walk away. Sometimes, too, people have beloved pets that the abuser will threaten. Many women's shelters won't take animals so women will stay for their pets as well.

The DD is at huge risk too if he’s punching his stepchildren/children he isn’t going to be averse to punching the Mom is he, it makes no difference if she was spoilt as a child.

My deepest thoughts go out to you though I can not imagine how you and your husband are feeling at the moment