My alcoholic ex wants the dog

Breeze is right - report every incident of threats or harassment so that at least the police are in the know and can keep a record. Same with phone calls, texts etc. keep a record. I don't know the law but if he is continually abusing his retraining order, there must be only so many times that he can get away with it without some intervention. Best wishes to you, stay strong.

Thank you . The National abuse hotline is wonderful they helped me prepare my case for the court and the 12 month non molestation order was granted. Unfortunately he cares about nothing and nobody when he is drunk and with best will in the world it takes the police at least 30 minutes to get to my house even though I’m on a high priority at risk register. Fortunately there are no children at home any more for me to worry about

Thank you all for your wonderful support and advice. Sadly he did pay for Nelly she is registered at the vets as his as is her chip. The restraining order still has months to run but if he has had enough to drink nothing will stop him. Apparently this is all the court will take into consideration. The RSPCA won’t get involved if the dog is only going to be rehomed but not under any threat. All my locks have been there is no more I can do. He probably won’t do anything just yet but will plan to get me off my guard. I know I need to man up a bit but it’s just so hard ?I do love all the wonderful suggestions of what I could do to him though !!

Not sure but I think chips just contain the postcode and maybe the pet's name not the name of the owner. This is what I understand from one of my cat's who's chipped.

Why has your ex changed after you helped him find a place to live,has he got the wrong messages from you with regard to the injunction, I would not have any contact at all & get the injunction extended asap.
Make sure everyone in your household knows that they are not to answer the door to him if you have to go out for any reason,does he still have keys to your home if so get the locks changed right now.

He might want to use it to beg.

ps - I would most definitely request the 12 month restraining order is extended btw. He is drinking and harassing you again. Keep your messages as proof.

If the dog is a pedigree it will have papers and if the dog is microchipped it will have the name of the legal owner. If he is logged as owner on both of these then you will need to prove he is unfit to keep the dog and with a restraining order against him and him living in accommodation that does not allow dogs you are half way there. As others have rightly said, don't leave the dog unattended and you would be wise to get some legal advice. If he does approach you or your property to obtain the dog, then call the police as he is breaching the order. He sounds like he's run out of things to threaten you with so is using the only thing left. Buying alcohol will be more important to him than using the bus fare even to visit anyone legal to press for a court order to get the dog so I would call his bluff and tell him you're taking advice from the police, RSPCA and a solicitor to prove he's unfit. It may be worth a call to the police to log a complaint of harassment and ask them to 'ave a word'. That could be enough to frighten him into dropping his threats. I assume he has supervised access to the children at a centre as he can't come near you or your home so if he does appear, pick up the phone and don't let him in. He may well be getting drunk and drunk messaging you with threats. Maybe change your numbers too.

How horrible for you, he certainly doesn’t sound as though he would be able to care for your dog. Lots of good advice from others about the RSPCA, Dogs Trust, free advice from solicitor, etc.

A word of warning. A friend divorced her husband and out of sheer spite he took their two cats because he had paid for them several years earlier. A huge row erupted just as the cats were taken out of her house and the police were involved. All extremely unpleasant, and at least one caution issued by the police, not to the ex husband but to someone helping him.

I don’t think my friend contested her ex-husband taking the cats or sought legal advice beforehand.

Do hope your lovely dog stays with you. ?

Legally as others have said the dog is the property of the person who can prove that they paid for it. If that person is not the person whom the dog's chip is registered to then there might just be legal doubt as to whose the animal is.

Under Scottish law pet owners have a duty of care to the animals they keep, so if you live in Scotland you might be able to prove that your ex. cannot care for the dog, as he is living in a flat where he may not keep a dog, and is an alcoholic.

Obviously there is no chance of a reasonable solution, as your ex is using the dog as a means of causing you distress, so offering to buy the dog for whatever amount he paid for it as a puppy isn't going to work.

Don’t know where you live but there definitely a NW ESS rescue and probably in other parts of the country. They are online and should be able to offer support/ guidance for you. Good luck, my sympathies and with you and your innocent dog

What a nasty piece of work - this is spite and mental cruelty . I wouldn't give an inch. Please take legal advice and if necessary speak to the RSPCA . A local rescue centre may be willing to look after the dog for a few months if you fear he might snatch it. Good luck. I don't often say spiteful things but I hope he accidentally slams a sensitive part of his anatomy in a drawer.

Probably most of us on Gransnet are not lawyers and therefore unable to give advice. Get half hour free legal advice you are entitled to before making any decisions.

With his track record I am sure he would have no legal rights to the dog. To be sure get legal advice, free half hour or CA and the RSPCA as a large resort although unless the animal is being ill treated sadly would not interfere on a what might ? happen situation.

Sorry to read this Felicity. He obviously doesn’t care about the dog. No Vet would euthanise a healthy pet, and animal shelters are full at the moment. I would seek the help of a domestic abuse organisation. And suggest he gets the mental health care he needs. You have my genuine sympathy when it comes to dealing with an abusive alcoholic partner.

A solicitor I worked with during my 18 years as a domestic abuse worker always said possession is 9/10s of the law. He can’t get legal aid to take you to court over the dog and is using it as a further excuse to abuse you. If he is still subject to a restraining order he should not be contacting you. You could tell the police if this is the case. The dog ownership issue is a civil law matter so he can’t get the police to help him. As others have said ensure that the dog is safe and not left unattended at any point. He obviously doesn’t give a monkeys about the dog - he’s using this as a further threat. Don’t give in! You could also talk to a domestic abuse service in your area for some support. The national domestic abuse hotline can put you in touch with services in your area. Their number is 080820200020247

Felicity53 - are you still letting this man into your home - i.e. to see the children? Maybe I'm misunderstanding this but it seems you are still having contact with him? How can he take the dog away if he's not there? Sorry, but unless he tackles you in the street I don't understand how he could even carry out his threats. If he turns up at your house (uninvited) I would call the police.

You have my sympathy Felicity53 as my ex was the same. I can't add to the good advice you've been given on here but just wanted to send support and understanding and , and suggest you take every precaution for the time being (ie. not let your dog out in the garden unaccompanied). x

You can always say that he bought the dog as a present for you (or for the family). Does he take it to the vet, etc (i.e. has he always been the primary carer or is that you)? If he lives somewhere that doesn't allow dogs that's barrier No 1. As others have said - you need Advice and Information. If you're scared about the dog's future (that he will have it put down) you might have to take the very hard decision to have the dog rehomed yourself - to make sure it survives plus that it's in a safe and caring home. As others have said - don't leave it on its own (in case he's around). Good luck x

Who is the dog chipped too and address? And who pays the vet bills?

If you feel you cannot protect this dog adequately ( i.e. your ex may get into the garden and steal it) then, sadly, I suggest you rehome it to a safe house of your choosing, at least temporary.

Lynne59 I already said that

Iam makes a good point about the chip. What an awful bully to use a dog as a threat.

The RSPCA might be able to advise about proving he is unfit to keep a dog and I doubt any vet would agree to put down a healthy dog which is loved and has a good home.

Very tricky.

Is it worth ringing the Dogs Trust, to see if there is anything they can suggest ? I know they are a very helpful organisation. There might be a specialist solicitor they could recommend.

And of course, he would have to prove that the dog was his.
He is fighting dirty!
I would too.
I would not admit to anyone that he bought the dog, in fact I would say that as far as I remember, it was me.
If he wants to fight it, tell him, you'll see him in court.
He won't do it though!