Relocating back to UK

Urmstongran = feel exactly the same and are therefore now somewhat worried that we should find outselves in the same boat. Who can tell. We none of us have a crystal ball handy

My mother was Danish and my father British and they lived in Scotland from their marriage in 1947 to 1980 when Daddy retired and then moved to Denmark.

It became immediately apparent that even although the family had been on holiday in Denmark often in the course of the years, that my mother had no idea how much the country, language and customs had changed since 1947. She had a hard time settling down, and was unable to accustom herself to quite a lot of the changes.

I left Scotland in 1975 and would honestly never contemplate moving back, as things have changed so much, and so much has happened that I haven't the foggiest notion about, as I have been busy living my life in another country.

Think long and hard about moving, before you do so.

As an aside - just think about how soft we are in this country. All the different languages spoken in the U.K. and yet at a referral for a hospital appointment the NHS will provide translators free of charge to those who request one.
It must cost a fortune!

I have noticed that often people say ‘it has changed so much’ when they are talking about a country. Doesn’t everywhere change over time?

Quite right, PamelaJ1 . I am always amazed how people 'freeze' countries in their mind once they leave them.

We have had a holiday home in France for 30 years, and we have noticed all the changes there because we are intermittent residents. Come back to England, where we live all the time, and changes just smoothly become part of our life and we do not notice them.

Anyone returning to the UK after living abroad will find it as much a foreign country as was the country of their exile when they first arrived.

We lived in Holland for 18 years from 1978 until 1996. Our children grew up there and went to Dutch schools. I loved the life there. The children had the most amazing childhood. They learnt independence and had a wonderful education. I loved the tierless society - no private health care, no private schools. But, strangely, I did not want to grow old there. As you say, and I speak Dutch fluently, growing old in another language is more difficult.

We came back with my husband's job and fortunately the children came with us.
The first year back was the hardest of my life. I felt like a foreigner in my own country. So many things had changed including my attitudes. Although we had friends and family over here I was lonely and missed my friends over there.

I know it was the right thing to do and I am now pleased we did come back but I still cry when I see pictures of Holland. I still miss my friends although I have made good friends here since we have been back. I miss the amazing health service though I have been told things are not as good over there as they were.

I am now happy we came back but you will not find it easy to slot back in. People's attitudes here are different. I am really struggling with Brexit as I am a European and cannot understand the small mindedness of some English people.

I also feel a little sad that my children do not have roots in one place. It means they are happy to live anywhere and that happens to be at the other end of the country.

Evianers, what an adventure you've had! But since you haven't live in France or any one place for all those 44 years, perhaps you're not so attached to any country that you couldn't easily move back to the UK? Still, is there a way you could come here for an extended visit first before making the move back? Maybe rent a place for a while and see how things go? Or stay with family if that would be ok? You know, just to see if you would really be happy moving back? Good luck in whatever you decide to do!

Framilode, are you sure you aren't cutting off your nose to spite your face? I understand that you want to show dh that you meant business when you said you wouldn't move again. But if you're so unhappy here and miss Spain so much, why not agree to move one last time? This time, maybe put it in writing or record it somewhere that you aren't moving again and that, if he decides to leave Spain again, he'll be leaving alone. I know you may be concerned that he won't take you seriously the next time if you give in this time. But he's not taking you seriously this time, anyhow, and, at least, next time, you would be in the place that you love. Iv never been in your situation though, so have no experience with it. Those are just my thoughts.

Thanks for your thoughts*Starlady*. There is a lot in what you say and I will see how things go. We are thinking of spending a couple of months in Spain next winter and see if that makes any difference.

The problem I have is I absolutely loved my house in Spain. We designed it and had it built ourselves. I also had very good friends and an active social life. I don't want to sound as if I spend all my time feeling sorry for myself, I don't. The problem we have is that we have wasted so much money on relocating that what we could afford now in Spain would not be a patch on what we had. We are also committed to helping out our family. This was something we agreed to before we came bac.

I just want to make the best of things and settle for what we have in an optimistic way now. I am hoping himself will do the same - eventually.

Oh, then, if you did go back, Fram, it might not be as lovely for you as it was. I get that. And I get it about the commitment to family.

And yes, I hope dh decides to make the best of things, too. Otherwise, he'll just make himself unhappy.

Best of luck, Fram, whatever you and dh end up doing!

We lived for 17 years in rural France and relocated back to the UK in 2017. The main reason for moving back was our increasing age, and the fact that DH speaks very limited French. He was admitted to hospital after a collapse, and although he received great care and didn't have to stay in hospital a long time, it was a catalyst for us. We knew that if anything happened to me , he would be totally isolated.
We are happy in the UK now, and thankful to have had the experience of life in France. Our main gripe is the NHS, it's next to impossible to get a doctor's appointment in under 3 weeks here.

That’s terrible Antonia. We must be lucky in Urmston as we can always get one the same day.

We have a small place here and for the last 15 years a small place in Malaga. I love the sunshine and it’s lovely to be able to hop between the two places. But are main roots are here.

Not being able to ‘see’ a doctor here is the same as you mentioned Antonia .... approx 3 weeks.

However, the following is available:
111 Health Line
A chat with a Pharmacist
Seeing a Practice Nurse on the same day
Booking a phone chat with Doctor
A&E for serious concerns
Repeat prescriptions can be done online.

I’m sure you know all this, but my attitude is that health support IS available. It’s just a question of adapting to a new perspective in how one drives one’s own health. Just popping along to the doctor is often no longer the case. There are, I’m sure, in less populated areas, quicker appointments, but feel these are no longer the norm.

In France I could see a doc within a few days, but paid €23 per visit. Some of that was repaid by circuitous admin, but nevertheless it does concentrate the mind.

By ‘here’, I mean my specific area.

Good post, ffinnochio. DH and I were just having a bit of a moan about GP appointments not being available round here for a couple of weeks, but I think we probably are stuck in the past and should be thinking of using the pharmacist, etc. Our adult children use 111 a lot for advice about the children, and we have never tried it. Time for us to jump into the 21st century, I think!

We can always be seen on the same day unless you want to see a specific doctor. We can book online every morning or ring and speak to the emergency doctor. We also have an urgent care centre which is open 24 hours.

Antonia our story is similar to yours, reasoms for leaving
But we can get a same day appt by ringing at 8.30 - they have a programme which searches and gives the next doctor and time where there's a vacancy.
In France our GP had 3 mornings a week when you could go and wait and eventually be seen. But that was a much smaller practise.

Sorry if I'm repeating a previous suggestion, but I wonder, particularly in the light of Framilode 's post, could you rent out your home in France and then rent here for a while to 'test the water'?

All of the above observations are very much appreciated. Yes, we could perhaps rent out our property, except that French tenants have all the rights under the law, {3 years} and owners very few. It would be a risk, and very difficult to get them out if they chose to dig in their heels, but what is the cost of renting in the UK? We passed an estate agent's in Pinner who only conduct rentals and saw a 3-bed semi for £1,900.-- per month. Had a heart attach on the spot!!!!!

Yes UK renters pay more than owners with mortgages. A two bed flat in my (nowhere near london) town can be anything from £850/month - £1500 and sometimes even more!

If you are moving to be near GCs you wont have the freedom of avoiding the higher price areas

Its also a landlords market round here. You have to grab rental properties the second they become available and agents have a wait list of suitable tenants. Can take months to get a place.

Buying is easier and cheaper which is bonkers. But again because of the price of renting, sales properties go fast

If you're serious about coming back and renting, try the real NE. It's much cheaper.
But my advice is, if you can't think of the UK as 'home', and your children aren't clamouring for you, don't come back.

I wouldnt settle in the UK now if I wasnt already here with a job and kids in school. Its not the country it was when DH and I started our life together here

I returned to the UK (not entirely from choice but I was younger) and could not wait to go back. So it did not work for me.

I understand your misgivings about language but you may find the health specialist you encounter, and much of the staff in UK hospitals, do not have English as a first language. In fact I'm told by relatives the NHS would collapse without them.

In the end it's a personal choice but if I were in your position, I'd try to retain a home in France just in case your repatriation doesn't work. Best of both worlds.