Relocating back to UK

By ‘here’, I mean my specific area.

Not being able to ‘see’ a doctor here is the same as you mentioned Antonia .... approx 3 weeks.

However, the following is available:
111 Health Line
A chat with a Pharmacist
Seeing a Practice Nurse on the same day
Booking a phone chat with Doctor
A&E for serious concerns
Repeat prescriptions can be done online.

I’m sure you know all this, but my attitude is that health support IS available. It’s just a question of adapting to a new perspective in how one drives one’s own health. Just popping along to the doctor is often no longer the case. There are, I’m sure, in less populated areas, quicker appointments, but feel these are no longer the norm.

In France I could see a doc within a few days, but paid €23 per visit. Some of that was repaid by circuitous admin, but nevertheless it does concentrate the mind.

That’s terrible Antonia. We must be lucky in Urmston as we can always get one the same day.

We have a small place here and for the last 15 years a small place in Malaga. I love the sunshine and it’s lovely to be able to hop between the two places. But are main roots are here.

We lived for 17 years in rural France and relocated back to the UK in 2017. The main reason for moving back was our increasing age, and the fact that DH speaks very limited French. He was admitted to hospital after a collapse, and although he received great care and didn't have to stay in hospital a long time, it was a catalyst for us. We knew that if anything happened to me , he would be totally isolated.
We are happy in the UK now, and thankful to have had the experience of life in France. Our main gripe is the NHS, it's next to impossible to get a doctor's appointment in under 3 weeks here.

Oh, then, if you did go back, Fram, it might not be as lovely for you as it was. I get that. And I get it about the commitment to family.

And yes, I hope dh decides to make the best of things, too. Otherwise, he'll just make himself unhappy.

Best of luck, Fram, whatever you and dh end up doing!

Thanks for your thoughts*Starlady*. There is a lot in what you say and I will see how things go. We are thinking of spending a couple of months in Spain next winter and see if that makes any difference.

The problem I have is I absolutely loved my house in Spain. We designed it and had it built ourselves. I also had very good friends and an active social life. I don't want to sound as if I spend all my time feeling sorry for myself, I don't. The problem we have is that we have wasted so much money on relocating that what we could afford now in Spain would not be a patch on what we had. We are also committed to helping out our family. This was something we agreed to before we came bac.

I just want to make the best of things and settle for what we have in an optimistic way now. I am hoping himself will do the same - eventually.

Framilode, are you sure you aren't cutting off your nose to spite your face? I understand that you want to show dh that you meant business when you said you wouldn't move again. But if you're so unhappy here and miss Spain so much, why not agree to move one last time? This time, maybe put it in writing or record it somewhere that you aren't moving again and that, if he decides to leave Spain again, he'll be leaving alone. I know you may be concerned that he won't take you seriously the next time if you give in this time. But he's not taking you seriously this time, anyhow, and, at least, next time, you would be in the place that you love. Iv never been in your situation though, so have no experience with it. Those are just my thoughts.

Evianers, what an adventure you've had! But since you haven't live in France or any one place for all those 44 years, perhaps you're not so attached to any country that you couldn't easily move back to the UK? Still, is there a way you could come here for an extended visit first before making the move back? Maybe rent a place for a while and see how things go? Or stay with family if that would be ok? You know, just to see if you would really be happy moving back? Good luck in whatever you decide to do!

We lived in Holland for 18 years from 1978 until 1996. Our children grew up there and went to Dutch schools. I loved the life there. The children had the most amazing childhood. They learnt independence and had a wonderful education. I loved the tierless society - no private health care, no private schools. But, strangely, I did not want to grow old there. As you say, and I speak Dutch fluently, growing old in another language is more difficult.

We came back with my husband's job and fortunately the children came with us.
The first year back was the hardest of my life. I felt like a foreigner in my own country. So many things had changed including my attitudes. Although we had friends and family over here I was lonely and missed my friends over there.

I know it was the right thing to do and I am now pleased we did come back but I still cry when I see pictures of Holland. I still miss my friends although I have made good friends here since we have been back. I miss the amazing health service though I have been told things are not as good over there as they were.

I am now happy we came back but you will not find it easy to slot back in. People's attitudes here are different. I am really struggling with Brexit as I am a European and cannot understand the small mindedness of some English people.

I also feel a little sad that my children do not have roots in one place. It means they are happy to live anywhere and that happens to be at the other end of the country.

Quite right, PamelaJ1 . I am always amazed how people 'freeze' countries in their mind once they leave them.

We have had a holiday home in France for 30 years, and we have noticed all the changes there because we are intermittent residents. Come back to England, where we live all the time, and changes just smoothly become part of our life and we do not notice them.

Anyone returning to the UK after living abroad will find it as much a foreign country as was the country of their exile when they first arrived.

I have noticed that often people say ‘it has changed so much’ when they are talking about a country. Doesn’t everywhere change over time?

As an aside - just think about how soft we are in this country. All the different languages spoken in the U.K. and yet at a referral for a hospital appointment the NHS will provide translators free of charge to those who request one.
It must cost a fortune!

My mother was Danish and my father British and they lived in Scotland from their marriage in 1947 to 1980 when Daddy retired and then moved to Denmark.

It became immediately apparent that even although the family had been on holiday in Denmark often in the course of the years, that my mother had no idea how much the country, language and customs had changed since 1947. She had a hard time settling down, and was unable to accustom herself to quite a lot of the changes.

I left Scotland in 1975 and would honestly never contemplate moving back, as things have changed so much, and so much has happened that I haven't the foggiest notion about, as I have been busy living my life in another country.

Think long and hard about moving, before you do so.

Urmstongran = feel exactly the same and are therefore now somewhat worried that we should find outselves in the same boat. Who can tell. We none of us have a crystal ball handy

What Do you mean Miep that you only live here ‘because you are penniless ‘? Do you not have a house to sell? Or if you rent here, does that mean you cannot rent in France?
I’m confused.
And it’s a shame to live here if you hate it.

When we were far away we would be arranging the next trip to them or us at the end of the last trip as it took planning/effort so ppl put the effort in.

When we were 30 mins away meet ups ended with "I'm sure we'll see you soon" but nothing was "pencilled in" because meeting up was perceived as easy. But then we wouldn't see each other for ages.

And when we did it was a quick cuppa rather than a long weekend of quality time

I wouldnt drastically move for GCs of that age, they'll soon be doing their own thing and maybe moving away for jobs/uni/adventure/love themselves.

Also, nan in france may be more appealing to visit than nan in the next town so you could see LESS of them. This happened to us when we moved nearer family. For 2 reasons: visiting us was no longer a break/holiday & with us being near meet ups didnt need to be pre booked as we could "pop in any time" but "any time" didnt happen as much.

I moved back to the UK from France in 2005 after 15 years there, due to my children - a thorny subject that I won't go into. I loathe it here. I speak fluent French and despite complex medical problems, had no difficulty And received by far superior Care. I would love to go back, but being penniless have no option but to stay here. Yes, I do have a British passport

An extra to my post - our re-adjustment back in the UK hasn't been difficult (after the first few months finding a place to live.) I've always thought of the UK as 'home' - do you?
The main thing imo is if you decide to return, do it before it's too late - age-wise. The move makes big physical and emotional demands.

Another thought evaniers moving will cost money. If you want to stay in France, couldn’t you source a translator and pay them by the hour for their time at the hospital? My friend who lives in Spain can speak some Spanish but uses a translator for techie stuff. She is much reassured and the hospital staff grateful.

I moved back permanently in July last year following the sudden death of DH. Although we had been planning to move back after 10 happy years in Cyprus.

For the last three or four years of our time in Cyprus we had been coming back for 4-6 weeks at Christmas and in the summer to get used to being in UK again and to look at the local areas where we would like to live.

I love being home, I have bought a little house near the children and they are near enough to be there is I need them or they need me, although I do miss all my lovely friends in Cyprus, I will visit, but then it will be a holiday and time to catch up.

Oh sorry, forgot to say yes both have UK passports

Thank you SO much for those kind folks who have replied. Food for thought from both aspects : FYI, we lived 11 years in South Africa, 5.5 years in Oz [didn't settle there at all but that's another story]! 15 years in Belgium [Flemish speaking not French] and now 11.5 years in France. We are absorbing carefully what each and every one of you has written. But please keep writing if there are any further thoughts. Merci!

Provided you have a British passport and are in receipt of a state pension you are entitled to NHS care on the same basis as everyone else. It takes effect immediately you return or even if you just come back for a holiday.

Oh, and feel free to PM if you’d like to chat some more.