AIBU to still want some sex in my life?

Celibate that should read

Nothing wrong with a platonic friendship.....if that's what you both want.
You want more and I think you need to let him know that you will be looking for a new partner while happy to remain his friend.
Good luck. You are far to young to be celebate.

men over 60 generally have more problems with the sex,desire etc look at the rise of Viagra.Most of my male friends over 60 are not too bothered.Think also that men have to 'perform' there can be a lot stress on the mens part.A good open discussion may clear the air.medical things depression etc also affect libido.theres also the possibility of asexuality on his part,some people really do prefer a cup of tea!

You are definitely not being unreasonable. I am 67 and Dh 62 and we decidedly do not feel too old for sex.

I will admit though, that there was a while a year or so back, where my desire wasn't nearly as strong as DHs, but happily we got through that. (It had something to do with a death in the family, I think.)

I honestly do not know what you can do, except to point out as kindly as you can that your better half may feel too old for sex , but you don't and that it is not kind of him to make the decision not to have sex any more without consulting you.

Now, I'm the frank one who is perhaps crossing a boundary, so I apologise if your or any other reader's feelings are hurt, but have you tried satisfying yourself?

Perhaps mention that you need to do so, if he is not able or willing to supply just a little sex or eroticism. I personally wouldn't want to try and find a lover, but I know women who would in your situation. What would he say to that? The suggestion might get him thinking!

Agreed- time to find love elsewhere- stay friends if you can, but be free.

Very different if you have a very long term partner who becomes ill.

I am sorry but you do sound like a mismatch and you are not happy about it, three other ladies at least have had the same problem. It might be best to bring things to an end.

Is he looking for a companion rather than a partner?

YANBU to feel that you want a partnership with a sexual element, and YANBU to move on from this relationship if it doesn't meet those needs.

It sounds like what this man really wants is a friend not a lover/partner. I would tell him you will remain friends but will be looking for a more loving partner.

Sorry to be blunt, but he's a dog in the manger. If he won't be a full partner to you, and doesn't want you to find another person who would fill that role, then he is being selfish and continuing this frustrating situation for his own benefit.
You are not being unreasonable at all. As a normal woman you are entitled to expect a loving relationship to include lovemaking. If he won't be a full partner to you, please don't deprive yourself of the happiness of being with someone who would.
Good luck!

Sounds more of a platonic friendship to me. I don’t think it’s going to get any racier.

You both have different expectations of this relationship, so it is not a "partnership" but a friendship. If you want more you may have to look elsewhere. But what you do have sounds positive in many ways.

Just enjoy the friendship, which is what it is, but don't regard him as your 'partner', as he clearly isn't in any true sense of the word.

Well, looking back at the op's first post, she does say that this guy tells her he "loves" her. Do you love him, too, Jeannie? Enough to do without the sexual intimacy? I guess that gets back to the question of what's more important to you...Only you can know that.

David this lady is young, she has only been with the man a short time, they haven’t made any commitment to each other they don’t live together, she only sees him twice a week so if they are far apart in what she is hoping for in a relationship yes she should leave him and the absolute same for a man if the woman is disinterested enough to even talk about it much less seek any help She has just said she’s tried all she can think of for the last six weeks and he obviously is having none of it This man is not for turning so unless she wants to stay in a relationship that is not what she really wants for the rest of her life yes they need to split

If they were married, living together, and he had changed , or was ill or unhappy of course they should stay and work it out

You're 54 - I was just starting to make up for all my lost years of repressed adolescence and unhappy first marriage at that age.
If I were you I would try to find someone whose sex drive matched mine. But be discreet.

I’m rather surprised by posts that say that if a man is not meeting your sexual needs you should leave him,. Quite often it is the woman who goes off sex are they advocating that she is dumped in the same way, what happened to love.

I think you have to decide how important this is in your relationship. It's different if he was unable to manage intercourse due to illness etc but seems like he just has a low sex drive. There are obviously other ways to achieve satisfaction than intercourse but I imagine from what you say he is not interested in this.
As momb said try leaving things for a couple of months and try again. If his feelings are the same then it's probably time to move on.

Jenniegirl You are far to young to be going forward with this kind of relationship I wonder if his divorces where caused by his indifference to physical contact I would certainly find out and if he won't discuss with you show him the door and get on with your life you have loads of years ahead to enjoy.

I know what it feels lime to be pressurised for sex when there is no inclunation, In my youth I had a good sex life and produced two children, but with age it diminished to the point of being less than the last thing I'd want to do.
If you really feel the need and it has to be a man. I would allow this man to be the celebate person he wants to be and find someone who will satisfy you.
Sexual appetite is mainly hormone driven and ulimately is to procreate.

I agree with BlueBelle. Even at the start, sex was only once a fortnight and not earth shattering. He doesn't enjoy sex and can live without it and you are the opposite. Unless he has other qualities that make you want to go on with the relationship it's time to say goodbye.

People have different sexual needs. Some have a high sex drive and need frequent sex, others need it less often. There's nothing wrong with someone who doesn't require frequent sex, it's only a problem if a couple's sexual needs are not the same. If this man is content with affection without sex, but you aren't, then you need to be honest and revert to being 'just friends'. Find yourself someone whose appetite matches yours.

Jenniegirl I think you ve answered your own question He’s been married and presumably divorced three times

Ask yourself what you are getting out of this twice a week meet up not any sex for sure, not any answers, it doesn’t seem a lot conversation, a bit of hand holding, he refuses to seek any help He’s got to be some major catch to accept all those things
Does he take you out and about, spend any money on you, buy you flowers, walk down the road with his arm round you, We have heard what he doesn’t do but what does he do that attracts you to him ?
You could have another 20/30 years of frustration, for what?

We see each other twice weekly only as he's a psv driver and I'm a nurse so we both have busy work schedules and meet when our shifts allow us to. At the beginning of the relationship we made love but I always had to initiate it and always felt that I was into it a lot more than he was. He has been married 3 times. I've tried to tactfully ask him about previous sex drive but he just says he used to enjoy sex more when he was younger

I would wonder what this man's past life has been. Married? Children? Long time single? This gentleman doesn't for some reason seem very enthusiastic.

So it sounds like he just wants to be friends? You don't live together and handholding is sufficient for him. I do wonder if you are looking for a deeper relationship then the message he is sending is that he does not. Is he trying to let you down gently?