Neighbors take us as suckers!!!!!

Se had lots of neighbours and friends constantly borrowing things from my DH's extensive range of tools etc. Very rarely did they come back without him asking for them so when they came to borrow something he started writing who borrowed what and how long they needed it for - with a maximum time stipulated - on a white board. They were told no return by due date there would be no further borrowing. A few made comments such as "don't you trust me?" but things did come back and on time or before. Borrowers were very keen to see their name crossed off the board.

I would move

Not sure I'd want it back!

Now I know why Pampas Grass is a banned plant in Portugal. Too rampant.

I don't think people are afraid to say no. I think the vast majority just want to be helpful and friendly and most of the time that is appreciated - just occasionally you may come across someone who takes advantage so next time they ask you say no.

I do not understand why people are afraid to say, 'No', if they don't want to loan anything out or do anything. It's one word. No reason needs to be given.

When a supposed ( ex) friend came round to my first new marital home, which I had saved hard for and was very proud of, she said, Can I comment on a..... particular piece of furniture. I just said, 'No'. The look on her face was priceless and she never spoke to me again. No great loss to me if that was her attitude.

Glad you got the vacuum back. My dad's neighbour asked to borrow his step ladders for a couple of days. Two weeks later, he was still waiting! I went round there and asked for it to be returned. He looked at me and said, "but I need those!" Another week passed and no sign of the ladders. I sent my husband round, they were returned straight away with a sour face!

If I plant tall swaying bamboo will anyone mistake it for pampas grass with its hidden message?

I once had a cheeky neighbour extract tins of paint from my shed and he used it to do a painting job he got paid for. Some people.

I’m new to gransnet - a few of these comments have had me chuckling, but I can’t believe the cheek of your neighbours. (I have to say I must have had a sheltered life - I didn’t know the significance of pampas grass!! .) We lent our lawnmower to a neighbour and when we got it back he had caught the cable with the blade halfway down - didn’t mention that when he gave us it back and certainly didn’t apologise. We lent a stepladder to a friend and it came back with a bent top. Again no apologies. Lesson learned - neither a borrower nor a lender be!

Well, I have certainly learned today from you lovely ladies! Gosh, not too sure what I would ever do with this new information

I had a ladder which I could no longer use but one neighbour, in particular, borrowed it very frequently and he had the cheek to lend it to another. When I eventually retrieved it I sold it and that sorted that out that problem. Give an inch and some take a mile.

flipping cheek i like my room hoovered everyday

Sadly, there are a lot of folk who take a mile if given an inch! Most of us don't want bad feelings between neighbours, so tend to be a bit soft.
Maybe setting the ground rules at the start is one approach - eg " I don't normally lend things to neighbours as we had a bad experience at our old house when a neighbour broke our mower and we couldn't afford to replace it. So - yes, you can borrow X if it can't wait till you get a new one, but please be very careful with it and I will need it back by Tuesday evening." Then put a stop to borrowing etc if they break the rules or ask too often.
A relative of mine was caught in this sort of situation - neighbour ended up coming in without knocking and borrowing all sorts of things, and even got very long term loan of car but didn't pay for new tyres or servicing when needed..

I certainly wouldnt be lending her anything else after that!

Over the years I have sadly had to come to the conclusion that I am not going to loan anything at all other than to immediate family members. I have had a hot air paint stripper returned broken, with simply 'Sorry - it burned out - I can't afford to buy you another one otherwise I wouldn't have needed to borrow yours' Faultless logic which left me speechless. A carpet shampooer returned with the handle snapped 'You can probably still manage to use it like that!' A steam cleaner - one of the more expensive models - was returned with absolutely filthy, stinking brushes. Although the borrower said she wanted it for her hall carpet, I discovered that she owned flats and was using it to clean all the muck and horrors left by a very dirty tenant. I've loaned books, records, even clothes that never came back, or were certainly not in the condition I loaned them. Never, ever again - if asked now I simply say that I use the item constantly, or that I no longer have it!!

That comment was in reply to Sussexborn's comment about the pampas grass being battered!

I blame 50 Shades of Grey...

Lovely response from you all after telling of our swinger neighbors who used our hoover. We did get the hoover back and we are not going to let them use it again. We do hear a lot of buzzing from next door especially at weekends not sure if it’s a hoover or something else.

Do you mean like Pampas grass in the front garden?

By the way does anyone know if my daffies in the window are a signal for something?

My goodness I learn something every time I log onto GN. Was going to get a pampas grass but won't bother now.

My neighbour rang me from her place of work and asked me to put a note on her front door addressed to the postman. Could I write on the note she said, please leave all parcels with my next door neighbour in future - that was me! never been asked do you mind etc.,

Because of my disabilities one of my neighbours, in his 40's is a named person for driving my car and he used to borrow it occasionally but I got fairly fed up because after months of borrowing he worked on the assumption that my car ran on fresh air and he was really put out when I asked him for money towards running it. He has not asked since.

We give a wide berth to our neighbours after they started to take us for granted. My dh helped paint their house - while the husband sat upstairs on his computer.

The final straw came when both houses needed the guttering cleaned. Him next door suggested we get them looked at the same time; we were out when the men came so when I went 'round to see how much we owed, they just gave me the business card and told me to arrange a visit myself - but could dh see his way to cleaning out a drain that had been missed!! Err, no.

Some people really do have the cheek of the devil! My neighbour thought it was ok to use my outside tap to jetwash their patio when I was out. They actually boasted that it took four hours - and I'm on a meter! The next time I went to use it I discovered they had broken the hosepipe fittings on it. When they wanted to jetwash something else I was in, so they said 'It's ok to use the tap isn't it?' THE tap - not MY tap! This time I said no and mentioned the broken fittings. They seemed quite shocked and put out, but I was the one that was cringing with embarrassment at saying no. It's not easy standing up to these cheeky people, is it?