Birthday for daughter in law

I find these answers fascinating.
MIL gave DH and myself the same for birthdays and Christmas ie a small gift of a book or a t shirt and a cheque each for £20.
Ditto for BIL but his cheque was £1000.
Repeat for 20 years

I love all of you that treat your sil and dil the same. My MIL gives my husband and daughter £20 For birthdays. I get a plant £5 from a supermarket! Yes I feel undervalued. Does it hurt? Yes. Will it change No.
Been married for over 30 years.
I give my daughter and sil the same and always will.

I do spend more on my adult daughters' presents and don't see a problem with it but I do give thoughtful gifts to the son-in-laws. I don't think in-laws should expect the same amount of money to be spent on them; they have their own parents to spoil them, but I always spend roughly the same on each grandchild. I do occasionally give extra family money, if a larger than expected bill comes in, to help them both out.

HappyBee, at the top of the page there are some menu options, one of them says "acronyms". Hopefully that lists the main ones

Thank you all.
I feel comfortable now giving the same cash to Dil taking into account all the advice from here which I certainly appreciate

My now adult children know I’m rubbish with gifts. Do a token few, make a cake. Help them out when they’re struggling with rent etc rest of the time. Think that’s enough.

I’m sorry but I’m new here...can someone please explain these “codes”? I’ve worked some of them out but I’m still vague with others, got a bit lost in translation. (DiL, SiL, DH.... etc).
Just to put my point of view across, if you want to give your daughter in law the same monetary gift as your son and you can afford to, then why not? Just don’t set a precedent so that when, at some point, you can’t afford to give to either, you won’t feel pressured to do so.

When they were bf and gf, they got less, but now that they are married, its equal, actually it's always something they need for the house xx

DS and DIL have birthdays that are quite close to each other and so I lump them both together and pay for them to have a weekend away together. I've saved a fortune on wrapping paper!

Give them the same amount or it could cause upset. If you give actual presents instead of money, they won't know the exact cost anyway. Trouble is it's hard to know what people like.

Reminds me of the days when my ex would get a nice cheque for Christmas from his parents and I would get a tea towel - if I was lucky. I don't think there are any rules. Give what you can with love and what you hope will be appreciated. It isn't only about money, it might be a gift of your time or special skills or an experience you can offer.

My parents always gave far less to my husband and my sister’s husband, than to us daughters, and the in-laws did the same. It seemed normal to me, and I have continued the tradition without thinking.
If I want to give a large sum of money then it is to both, but it is up to them what they do with it.

I tend to give my son money, but buy gifts for my dil as she appreciates them more than money.

If I were to give a monetary gift, I would probably give the same to each - but that's my way and am happy to do so.

Yes I agree with most of you , birthdays Christmas we always give the ame amounts to all DD and Dsils. If we want to " help out" more we do that on completely separate times. Have even incorporated it into 1 off Easter present , or " going on holiday prese... but always give the same to both couples. In this area equality reigns .

Ours all get the same for birthdays, plus flowers for the girls and a book or T-shirt or something for the boys.
We occasionally make larger gifts of money. They all have joint accounts so the money goes in there.
We make it clear that the money is theirs to do as they wish with it.

My children and the partners always get the same...voucher usually and only £20 each. We were never ones to spend a lot on gifts when they were growing up but they never went without anything needed such as bicycle to ride to school etc. On my own now and have no intention of changing. I understand their father is more generous...hahaha Oh and at Christmas my 6 grandchildren get presents not their parents except son who has no children. That was how it has always been in my family. It works very well

We give our sons and DIL's the same gifts whenever and for whatever. They are not less than, or an appendage, they are family.

I give the same amount to everyone on birthdays. Extras are in between for special things.

My parents always gave me and my husband the same amount at Christmas and birthdays. Mother-in-law thinks differently! Husband usually gets a bottle of Scotch. If I`m lucky I get a small box of chocolates (unwrapped) - despite the fact that I can`t eat chocolate! Her own daughter was recently given a very expensive handbag

We give Dil the same cash amount in a birthday card as DS, along with a surprise small gift. It was Dil's birthday last week and this year the gift was a blouse from one of her favourite shops. DD never knows what to buy, so this year she bought her Afternoon Tea (for two) at a very nice hotel, so they are both very pleased.

I always give the same amount of money to both sons and daughters-in-law, I never though to do anything other than that.

It's funny but I would be absolutely horrified if my DS and DDiL spent any sort of amount of money on me or DH. Whereas I know my DiL does spend a lot on her parents (who live in a different world to me).

Still have a mortgage

My thought too Kitty . I will probably have a bloomin' mortgage until the day I die !

However, I’m conscious that what I think is a lot is peanuts to some people

Totally agree with you there Eglantine..... How the other 'arf live eh?

My dear MIL always gives me the same amount as my DH. My parents are gone, and my siblings all live in another country. I'm always grateful that she treats me like a daughter (she doesn't have any daughters).

Renaged ...not renamed .