Should I move out

You luck. Predictive texting

Vauxhall58 I can see where you are. A black hole of despair with a dark vision of an endless future. You’ve probably used this forum to offload you’re despair. Understandable.
Many people read this and want to ‘help’ not realising that their helpful comments are far from helpful.
In the end you will make your own decisions. You will either stay or walk.
Walking away requires planning and, dare I mention it, some finance. If you made an appointment at CAB maybe they could help you plan your finance/housing options.
Whatever you decide I wish I Lucy and peace ??‍♂️??‍♂️

Vauxhall 58, a whole paragraph with no punctuation makes understanding what you are saying more difficult. Full stops would really help.
I can’t quite understand what the problem is, you only say that your husband watches a lot of sport on television which in itself seems no big deal and many families manage this problem ! Another mention is your 5 dogs some of whom you would need to leave behind if you moved. Is this a problem, or your reason to stay ? There must be more to your situation but you haven’t mentioned what are the major things causing you to think of moving out. This makes your situation more difficult to comment on.

If you are really sure that your marriage is over I would suggest approaching the council you rent from with a view to being rehoused. Though I think you would only be offered a one bedroom property. IAnd also as some one else said have a look at the benefits calculator

JanCl That isn't true for people of Vauxhall58's age. You are not expected to still be sharing a house or living in a studio flat when you are in your late 50s. She would be able to get a one bedroom flat and get housing benefit up to a certain amount but should take advice from someone like AgeUK about her specific situation. I know because I was in that situation myself.

Speak to your housing department and see what your options are.
My Council (Harrow) does now allow dogs in all its rentals so they do vary. It might be possible for you to take 2 dogs so they have company but you don't have to manage all 5. Unless getting the dogs was his decision alone, you must have known when you got them that 5 dogs was tying you in so the psychology there is a bit hard to fathom.
Presumably your home is a decent size if you can have that many dogs, so is there really nowhere else that you can put a TV? That is obviously not the only issue and that would only be a temporary fix but you need to speak to people who know what is available in your area. In some areas there is no shortage of council property and it would not be that difficult, in others it is virtually a non starter. As others have said though, they may help you move into a private rental.
My Housing Officer told me that they are not allowed to suggest that someone moves or to help them with the transfer process. Presumably this is because of cases where housing officers were found to be helping friends. I very much doubt that they would speak to your husband at all.
It does sound as if your decision has been made and the problem is how to do it and how to deal with the dogs. Is your husband involved in the care of the dogs? If not, then it might be worth asking him to try to find somewhere else although it does not sound as if he would be particularly co-operative. Unless he is likely to be aggressive or even violent, then talking about it has to be worth considering. Could you move close enough that you could take the dogs out every day?

Sorry to hear of your situation. I would advise that you find out more about your options before you make any decisions. If you did leave to live on your own, if you are eligible for housing benefit, as a single woman, you would only get an amount that would pay for a studio flat or a single room in a shared house. So you may well not have the option of even taking one of your dogs. As others have asked, does your husband know how unhappy you are? If you have rubbed along for 21 years, he may well think nothing needs to change. Telling him what you are thinking and feeling may help him realise that's not the case. Not sure why Relate is not for you, but an impartial, trained person can really help. You can go on your own if your husband won't go. Or perhaps you have a friend you could talk things through with. Have you looked into activities or courses you could do locally that would get you out of the house? But definitely do some research so you know exactly what your financial situation would be and what your options are so you can make an informed decision. You could start by Googling benefits calculator. I really hope you find a way through this that leads you to a happier, more fulfilled place.

Hi Vauxhall, I understand how you feel.

You obviously have a computer/laptop, well, I use this to watch what I want while my other half is watching what he wants, earphones and I'm happy sat in a comfy chair with the dog snuggled up.

Try a hobby, photography to get you out, knitting/sewing if you like staying in, the WI to meet people, something different.

Leaving is a big decision, especially with 5 dogs to consider, be sure you can manage financially, you may end up with all 5 dogs, have you thought of that?

Gook luck Vauxhall.

Why don't you find some fun things you can do together such as going to the theatre, doing on day trips, a bit of retail therapy, anything really that interests both of you. If he won't join in then do things on your own, which interest you. It would be very hard I should imagine financially, practically, emotionally, etc. to leave and have to manage on your own. Compromise and do the best you can to make yourself happy, then it might rub off on him. We are only as happy as we make up our minds to be as George Washington said. and its true.

uxhall* Why can't you sit your husband down and explain to him the way you feel and that you are not going to put up with it any longer after 21 years surely you can communicate with each other.
I am also astounded that a Council will allow 5 dogs in one of their properties where I live 2 is the maximum.
Rather than you leave the property why can't your OH leave,at 59 you are still young and you should be enjoying life you have a long way to go as yet and do you want to be miserable for all that time.

My aunt had breast cancer, I was told by 2 Drs that I can take HRT as long as not sister or mum who had breast cancer. I would start getting some info - book a Drs appt, talk to the council, look at local rents, check bank balance. You have 2 options - stay or go. If you stay, make a new life for yourself. Find a space in the house to make yours. Set it up how you want - chair, TV, pics. Let your OH sort out his own life - shopping, cooking, washing, hobbies and look after yourself. Be a bit selfish - what have you got to lose? Get out and get involved in the community in some way. Maybe a part-time job or volunteer somewhere so you can meet people, or a hobby. Start living as of you were single and see how you get on. Yes there will be compromises, and you need to come to terms with that. Instead of a house you might have to move to a flat if you split up. Only you can let go of your old life and make a new one, and your resources may be limited. You may end up without the dogs, in a smaller space, on your own. Would that make you happier as you won’t have your partner?

Vauzhall, I think the problem here is that it's not really clear if this is mainly about the TV or if that is just a symptom of your general dissatisfaction with your husband. The fact that you objected to the idea of a second TV in another room made it seem (to me, at least) as if it really were about the TV and wanting your husband to agree to watch more shows with you that you like. Of course, I realize it could mean that you want to have more fun together/want him to be more fun. Have you tried planning outings, etc? If he won't go, you could go on your own.

But maybe you're just tired of him, period. If so, then I guess you need to leave. I get how you feel about the dogs, but how many you can take with you may depend on where you move to. Idk if your husband would want to be left with 5 dogs to care for, however. Perhaps you can take at least 2, if feasible?

I'm not a drama queen it's a difficult decision to make was looking for support messages not having a go at me . I can't take hrt as breast cancer is in the family on my mums side some things are not all black and white . Thank you for positive comments that I do get

Vauxhallstop being a drama queen.
Posters are trying too help .Help yourself by first of all going to the docs for HRT.
Classical case of menopause.
Start from there and liven up a bit.Get another Tv and watch what you want. Create a safe special place for yourself your only 59.
At the end of the day Ido not think that moving out will solve your problems .There are other things to work on as well.

I apologise for being rude about the punctuation. I had to cope with splitting up with my partner of twenty years and was scared about coping. However, two years down the line, I have realised it is not so bad and the peace of living without an uncommunicative, critcal partner is the better solution.

Well I certainly didn’t say anything horrible I gave you some practical advice I m not sure what you call horrible ?

If you have asked before ( I don’t remember it) and still in the same situation then this isn’t the way to go Vauxhall
If you are depressed or feeling totally pipped off with your husband and there is nothing more to it make an appointment to see a doctor or a counsellor, if you are lonely find a way to integrate with others, even just chatting when taking the dogs for a walk if it’s really about TV programmes buy another one
Write yourself a for and against list and decide if you love him enough to be in this situation for the rest of your life or are staying because a) it’s convenient, b) the dogs c) you’re scared of change
Nothing changes unless you make the changes I m sorry if you don’t want to hear this but your husband of 21 years is quite happy in his little rut if you re not, then make some decisions
To call us heartless is really not good it’s pointless going ‘there there’
I do have empathy I stayed in a decidedly difficult marriage for far longer than I should (partly for the children but partly because I was scared of the big changes needed ) it is hugely difficult and scary but no one can do it for you
I truly wish you the best in your decision

Reading her posts again it does seem the Original Poster had her agenda and just wanted agreement. I thought her comments were unfair too.

Very unfair. What response did you want?
We aren't all professional counsellors on here, just assorted grannies and others who mean well.
How about a trip to citizens advice?

That's a bit unfair Vauxhall quite a few posters offered advice and sugggestions.

Yes thank you for the positive comments yes I have had enough some of the comments on here were horrible I hope you never find yourself in this place. I guess I'll make my own decision regret putting on here now not much help at all just really heartless people

I think the TV issue is just a symptom of an increasingly discordant marriage.

My feeling is that getting a TV and watching it in another room isn't really the answer. I expect the OP would like her partner to be a bit less self-absorbed and more companionable.

Anyway, she's fed up and I think it is a bit high handed of people to tell her she shouldn't be or that she should just put up with it.

I do wonder why so many persons who have already posted here, haven't worked out that this is NOT about TV shows.

It's the last straw after 21 years of living with a man so petty that he cannot even share this little bit of leisure, or care about his wife.

The poster is desperate to have some life of her own and doesn't know how to leave her beloved 5 dogs.

I'm amazed that in a Council property she is allowed even one dog, it's certainly taboo where I live.

However, the fact that she is a Council resident is slightly hopeful because they are dealing with broken marriages all the time and the need for separate accommodation.
I'd guess the waiting lists are a mile long but they often help to facilitate moving to private rentals.
It may well be that they suggest HE moves and leaves the OP in residence with her dogs.

wot. Punctuation. Lack of punctuation is called ‘stream of consciousness ‘. You just get your thoughts out. The Dubliners by James Joyce was written in that style.

Okay so the old mans pretty boring, he’s not going to change and you’re feeling at an all time low. Can you reinvent a little fun and excitement into your life?
Five dogs. That’s a lot in one house. Can you just accept the old man for what and who he is? And start having fun with the dogs instead. Spend loads of time with them; walking, grooming, cuddles, games and, oh dear, fives loads of poo to clear up. You’ll get so much love, gratitude and affection from them. It’s so rewarding. You want have time to get upset that you’re husband is selfish and boring.
Sometimes life is overwhelming. ? Good luck

If you no longer love your husband spit the house in two his half and your half if you don’t want to move to a flat of your own You can live two separate lives in the same house and keep all your dogs
Or
You can move out start a new life and get out and about enjoying yourself
Or
If you still love him get some outside help to find a way to stay happily together, but I don’t get the feeling that’s what you want or is it? Sex doesn’t have to be over after the menopause get help and support you’re very young