She has been in my children's lives since they were children. I only know her through my children as she has refused to have a relationship of any kind with me, has ignored letters and overtures to mend rifts in family. Blanks me at family events. My children all say how difficult and rude she can be but over the years have got fond of her and she of them. She is unlikely to grandchildren of her own.
I ended my marriage after my husband had affairs. He met her afterwards and also had another affair which was very difficult for her.
She has just done a brilliant job nursing ex through a two year terminal illness. Advocating for the best care. She is a formidable woman. He died three months ago and she is devastated.
She is visiting my children and grandchildren. I have said I do not want the 'family apartheid' to continue with me excluded when she visits. She let it be known at the funereal that it was by invitation only and I took this to mean I was not welcome. I did not go.
I just wish she could be civil towards me. I am getting increasingly upset at being disrespected within my own family. Two of my children feel I should re-frame her rudeness as part of her and not let it upset me. I think years of having her literarily turn her back on me is taking its toll and making me feel very uncomfortable on the occasions when we do get together. My children will try and avoid this and see us separately. I do not think this is a healthy example for the grandchildren. Feelings are very raw, she is grieving any suggestions as to best way forward.
Do I need to like them all? - son's wives
Telling a child 'no' - parenting
She thinks he has a problem - alcohol