relatives with mental health problems

I had a cousin , Downs Syndrome, not mental health illness but it had a life long effect on his younger siblings.

Can a parent stop feeling responsible and protective for a child.

It is almost impossible for me to talk about the current family member with problems, so I will talk about my sister. Once she became ill, as a teenager, the family dynamic focussed on her. I had to become resilient and independent. In the fifty plus years since then she has been up and down, but my parents always supported her. I would expect nothing less. But it nearly destroyed my father. He only began to recover once she was moved into supported accommodation about 20 years ago, and for the first time my parents spent Christmas with me, the only time, as they did not live long after that. My sister is still alive and I visit her from time to time, but others look after her.
I only wish my father could have given up feeling so responsible for her. Eg driving twenty five miles each way because she had lost her house keys, a frequent occurrence, which exhausted him as an elderly man.
Now history is kind of repeating itself and I am able to distance myself as it is not my child. I am only too aware of the effects on the family but I dare not get involved. MH is all- consuming, and very destructive of other relationships. It is really hard to see what is happening and say nothing.

Depends on the relationship, I didn’t give up on my daughter, who can walk away from their own child. I was able to separate my darling daughter from the illness.

If you are directly involved with the individual who is suffering, and you find yourself suffering as well as a result, I'd suggest seeking a healthier way to navigate the situation -

You might feel like giving up, to some degree, because you may be taking the symptoms of their illness personally - You may find yourself "feeling" that things they say or do are targeting you specifically, making it difficult to cope, when in reality it's the symptoms, not the individual - When someone has runny nose from a cold, we don't take it personally, or think of that person as a runny nose - The same is true with mental illness symptoms -

Yes it is horrid to give up on someone dear to you.
However.
Is it giving up on oneself to sacrifice your own life for the other person?

I don't know how mental health appears as a diagnosis, when the person doesn't think anything is wrong. My daughter I truly suspect has bi-polar. She holds an extremely good job, is divorced and supports her two demanding teenagers, with very little help from her ex. She has always been a difficult girl. One minute she's all over you, can't do enough, inviting me over for Sunday and then I won't see her for weeks. Her husband once told me he just can't cope with her moods and swings. He eventually divorced her. There again one minute she's helping him financially, because he doesn't hold a good job (lazy) and the next, she is cursing him all the way to hell and back. It's really hard for me to say this, I dread going over to see her because I dont know what mood she's in. Her brothers and sils also find her difficult - the siblings have had many a row which she has caused .
Things are ok at the moment, but heaven knows. I hope Cabbie my situation has given you some co fort. In my case, I can't give up.....she is my daughter. Good luck Cabbie !

Yes of course it is totally horrible but ultimately one has to safeguard oneself and one's close family - the "problem" can take over all of one's life - I know as it happened to me - so my answer to your question is "yes" it is totally horrible but it is sometimes the only way to preserve oneself (sounds selfish but consider others who care for you) so a decision has to be made - it's not an easy decision but in your heart you will know what is best for the majority - ie the people who worry about you worrying about her/him!! Hope this helps. x

Thanks for your honest answers.
Dare I ask? Is it totally horrible to give up on someone?

Ok Cabbie21 - see where you are coming from - so, in answer to your questions:
1. In every way
2.Ditto
3, Frustrated and ultimately useless/powerless

That's the truth of it.

Wish I could post a more positive message but you asked the questions and I have answered you honestly. It sucks....{grimace] - no emoji for that !

Jomarie, as explained above, it affects my family personally. I am not doing research or anything like that.

Thanks for replying, Anniebach.
Without wishing to reveal too much information, and hopefully without getting shot down in flames, I am currently struggling to cope emotionally with the consequences of having a relative with major MH problems. I grew up in the shadow of my sister’s problems so I ought to be used to it by now, but now it is another relative who is affected and I am struggling to know what to think and feel.

Why do you want to know ???

Many serious mental health illnesses ,many serious physical health illnesses ,depends on the illness

Nobody?