Other members with transgender g.children

PamelaJ1 - no not hard - why on earth should it be? If one of our children/g.children had a life-threatening illness then that would be hard. But being trans .......no way!!!
Yes, I do know that teenagers are now able to try out their feelings about their genders much more easily than they would have done in the past. It is rare for these youngsters to start any form of hormone or any other treatment very quickly. Usually, they are told to just live life in their chosen gender for at least a year, before anything else happens - often much longer.
Probably the Q in LBTBQ is the most important - it stands for Questioning. Think it is has been quite usual for many young people going through puberty to question what is happening to them and their bodies, nowadays, it is just so much easier for them to do this openly - and hopefully, with happier outcomes eventually.

I am amazed that there are so many of you with links to transgender people.
Sorry I can’t really add anything else but it must all be extremely hard for all concerned.

I agree blondenana - children often "try out" different personas as they grow up. It really bothers me to hear of young adolescent children being treated with hormones to stop their natural development, based on their idea that they are the wrong sex. I can't help wondering what sort of futures they have, if the "treatment" backfires" and the child changes their mind.

My 16 year old grandson has a classmate who changes his/her gender whenever he/she feels like it. The school are quite happy with this, apparently.

I know most of the trnsgender are very genuine, but i also think it has become trend,i have an daughter in law who, now has more children and one of them and his friends decided they were going to be transgender, then decided not
I don't believe young children should be treated for this until they are old enough to really know what they want, only going by things i have read about very young children given hormones

womblekelly, Does sound as if much has happened in the life of your son in a very short period of time. It is good that he has support, but obviously his new husband also people to talk to. Is your son still living in the marital home? Would your SiL consider an annulment of the marriage or divorce? Might be easier for all concerned for a clean break.
Does seem a very short period of time and hope that your son takes things quite slowly now, before embarking on life changing surgical procedures.
As has been said on here, all you as a parent can do is to be there for them and to continue to love them.
It is good that other gransnet people are slowly coming forward to take part in this discussion. I have had the feeling that anything to do with trans in the family is something people do not talk about. Sure in the distant past this was how it was with Gay and Lesbian people in the family. That is so much more accepted in most parts of society these days.
Just to say that my daughter, the mother is this trans boy has just been given an award by her town for doing so much in being supportive of LGTBQ youth. As her new son pointed out that there was really nowhere for young LGTBQ youth to meet up with each other to self-support, she arranged with a local cafe/bar for them to have their own monthly meetings one evening. She is there, not with them, but supervising (requested by licensee) , and this has been successful, running now for about six months and getting between 10-12 youngsters between ages of 13-17 attending.

Have a trans gender daughter who is now going to be our son the difficulty we have is when she was a she she got married 6 months ago ... then v shortly after that was diagnosed as being autistic and is now undegoing the trans change with the total support of her psych staff ...no support whatsoever for her new husband or us as parents .

I have family who are transgendering both were girls now boys/young men.Both have had great support from school and the community ,the only people who have had a problem with it being older male relatives .I also have gay females in my family ,they are all still the same people they were before we knew they were gay or transgendering and we love them just the same as before.

Hi. I don't have transgendered g.children but I do have transgendered parent and g.niece .
I think the world is more accepting, but still has a way to go. My dad became a women and my g.niece is living as a boy at 13.
I love them both, and support them but it doesn't always make life easy. All we can do is offer love and support especially for the younger transgendered.

Jura2, it does show the bullying ignorance of that little boy's father, poor boy.
Fransbern, I do hope you find the support you need,just talk with people experiencing the same would be such a help.

Jura2, I could hardly believe what I read, that poor little boy, what a dreadful story. My little boys had a doll’s buggy, dolls, and teddies. They also had a mini vacuum cleaner and ironing board, alongside their other toys. When their little sister came along, she played with their cars and trains etc. Children are children and toys are toys, all toys help young children make sense of the world they live in.

It is harder for people to get their heads round being trans, quite understandably, and it’s still relatively rare.
It’s so good you are a supportive family.
We went down the private route as the waiting times were so long. I believe they are even longer now.

Sunflower2,thanks for sharing this. It does seem to be generally acceptable now to talk about people being gay, but transgender is still a fairly new concept to cope with.
Whereas everyone on the family is totally supportive, we are also rather concerned about any idea of future surgery. At the moment he is taking a low level contraceptive pill, to govern his periods, and wears a binder around his chest.
We had set a lot of store by a referral to Tavistock clinic, but having waited a year, they were not much help. They seemed more concerned as to how parents, siblings, g.parents, aunts & uncles and cousins, were taking the news, and when told that our family has no real problems with this, they lost interest.
At present all seems to be going well, but obviously, I have concerns about the future, and just felt it would be pleasant to be able to talk with other people in similar position.
I am sure there must be other gransnet posters out there with trans g.children - just hope they will join in sometime soon

Hi Franbern,
I have a trans adult child. Came out at 24 and we went through a very difficult few years. No hints during childhood except a few times I thought they were perhaps gay. We had a very long journey, too long to describe here, but she is now in a very good job and bought her own house last year. She is so much happier. We had a lot of support from Depend, part of the Mermaids support group. I have had mixed feelings about telling people, although family know, and have, for the most part, been very supportive.

I don’t have a transgender grandchild but have worked with/ am working with a transgender child. A really good site for support and information for the child and family members is Stonewall. It is a national support charity and can be very helpful

There was a boy in DD's class at secondary school that she never got on with. A year of two after they left school he declared himself she. DD and her then became friends, she was having treatment and preparing for surgery but was sadly not supported by family. She then changed her mind about surgery but still identifies as female.
Pure guess work but I feel he wasn't comfortable in his own skin whilst growing up which made him not a very nice person to be with.
As soon as he embarked on the transgender process he became much better to be around says DD.

Looking at the examples from CrazyH and Jura2, it does seem that some men feel very threatened by the mere suggestion that a friend/relative maybe trans. They really need to grow up.

Little boy next door in Staffs was given a pram by his mum's friend, as he liked it so much when he played at their house. Real 'boy boy' - he put his teddy in and raced up and down the cul-de-sac making FF1 noises. Father came home, picked up the pram, smashed it on the pavement and put it in the bin - saying he wasn't going to have any pu*ter as a son (he was about 4).

It is a relatively new concept EllanVannin or at least only recently brought out into the open. We should have patience but so should the very vocal supporters of transgender people. We make mistakes, we may use the wrong pronoun we don't always understand how it feels. They should be able to tell us without starting a witch hunt when mistakes are made.
You are wrong I think to say there are no ignorant bigots, you only have to read the current thread about a gay granddaughter.

Have some patience with this subject please. Nobody is an " ignorant bigot ", it just takes time !! Just because a minority shout " bigot " doesn't mean that everyone is. A bit of thought over the matter speaks volumes. It has nothing to do with ignorance either.

CrazyH

He sound horrible! What is wrong with some people?

Don't worry, he'll be ok - the taboo has been lifted and there has been more education on the subject. But there are still some ignorant bigots, like my ex son-in-law, who went into an utter rage when I brought back from Tunisia, a wooden beaded necklace for my little grandson, He literally pulled the necklace of his little neck. Awful man .

Lovely to hear that he’s got such a lovely supportive family, because he’ll undoubtedly have a tough road ahead.

I think society in general is far more accepting of all aspects of sexuality, but like you, I struggle with using the right terminology!

Good luck with everything