AIB too suspicious - I don’t want to make a fool of myself!

He’s still cheating on you. From what you said he really doesn’t care all that much if he gets caught. He’s leaving evidence of phone numbers, making calls around you on the balcony. After him cheating initially, calls on the balcony are suspicious right off the bat.

Advise from solicitor. Change locks. Bin his possessions.

I am afraid you have married a womaniser through and through, My first husband was asked to leave when I found out he was having an affair with a neighbour. I actually gave him two hours to get packed and go. We had a daughter who had just had her twelfth birthday.
Since then, I have discovered that he had been having affairs all through our marriage. He even continued having affairs after he seemed to have settled with a very nice woman who had been told that our marriage had broken down because of my affairs!
Don’t give him any more chances. He really is not worth it and you are worth so much more. Once trust has gone, you will never feel happy in your relationship with him. Good luck,

It doesn’t sound good, I would get legal advice first. And then go over to the flat unannounced. My heart goes out to you. I know I wouldn’t share anyone. Life is too short to be treated like this. You are worth so much more. Good luck

It seems to me that your OH may be stringing along the other woman, hence he contacted her (within your earshot) to confirm that he was leaving you after your holiday. Why would he need to do that if it had already been agreed. He.s playing a dangerous game.
Personally, I would confront him with as much ‘evidence’ as you have. Sooner or later the truth will out.
Good luck.

Gma29* remember the old saying, 'Don't get mad, get even'. You have nothing to berate yourself for.

Private detectives charge £125 to give you name address and any other info that can find from just a phone number. Also put the number in your contacts on your phone and then go to what’s app and she may have a photo next to her number so you know what she looks like if you are going to stake out the flat. Please let us know how you get on we are all here for you x

He’s still seeing her. Boating? I don’t think so! Don’t be a mug throw him out.

Why annoyed w/ yourself, GMA? Youve done nothing wrong.

Gma29 I feel for you I have been there, I checked the phone bill and like you saw calls and text to the same number, due to the fact he had turned off all ring and text tones, but was always going into his office upstairs and taking on extra meetings, if it is on his mobile that you checked has he got a name to the number if so hide your outgoing number make a call see if you recognise the voice pretend to be looking for some one else sit and think about it write some ideas down, I knew who my husband was calling it took me a year to finish it for reasons tooo long to go into, I had to watch my husaband go down hill we are still together 10 years on so good luck hope you get it sorted to your end.

Don't be annoyed with yourself Gma29 - you've done nothing wrong! You are dealing with a situation that no one wants to have to deal with. Be kind to yourself - you are the innocent party. If you feel at a loss as to what to do for the best it's understandable - most people would feel the same. Just do as you have said and get a grip on your finances. Take it one step at a time so you don't get overwhelmed and keep saying to yourself "I am the innocent person in this and I will be ok - no matter what occurs. I CAN COPE!!"
Best Wishes - We are all here for you - Danni x

Gma29 That sounds sensible. Whatever happens, you need to be in control and knowing how the finances are and what you are entitled to are essential. Good luck.

Many thanks for the advice and support. Hard as it is, I’m going to say nothing in the short term, and get a grip on finances etc. I’m just so angry, and annoyed with myself, really.

Elvive unfortunately, yes

Oh my goodness Onestepbeyond I wouldn't like to get on the wrong side of you! "Something nasty might happen" - what on earth were you planning?

Anyway, Gma - lots of good advice on here so I wish you luck in whatever you choose. Please come back on and up-date us on whatever the outcome is.

I would deffo call that number from an unknown phone a new one- ask who is this and tell her you have been following her and tell to to back off your husband or something nasty might happen -

Before that I would follow husband and take lots of pictures of his activities

If he admits and vows to change but strict terms on the future with him

if no change after a couple of weeks I would paste the photos all over the town and workplace boat club everywhere he is known and dump his gear at her house
with a note to say shes welcome to a cheater

you stay in your house and get him out-

BUT - thats what I would do you I don't know

when he's in the shower, use HIS phone to call her and if she answers 'Hello Darling' or whatever, I think you will be sure.

Baarmeyoldbat, LOL! Good for you!

First of all, you are not sneaky! Having been in a similar position myself, i found that once you have discovered the dishonesty of your OH, you do become suspicious at virtually every turn, because it's all to do with that small but very significant word, TRUST, in a relationship, and this has been abused ! I personally, would most definitely call the number for my own peace of mind, otherwise it would be niggling away for eternity. However, you may be one of those amazing women, who can turn a blind eye to his philandering ways and carry on with your life. I confronted my OH after 25 years of marriage, having been suspicious over a period of 18 months! I telephoned and invited his 'platonic friend' to discuss the matter one evening, which resulted in him leaving me and our 2 children for 8 months, but he returned. Unfortunately, however, our marriage only lasted another 4 years.
I forgave him, but just couldn't forget the lies and deceit which went before ? Good luck though with whatever decision you make, itll be the right one for you and, you will feel you are in control of your own life?

You are not making a fool of yourself. You have been made a fool of, and what is worse is that you are allowing it to happen.
We don't know your circumstances. If you are not married you are in an awkward situation. Do you own or part own your home?
Get some legal advice today.

Oh Bluebelle you rock girl. Rabbit in headlights indeed. Wish I could have seen his face when you two walked in.

Unfortunately it sounds like all trust has gone from your relationship. You have found him out once, and now overheard that he is leaving you after your next holiday.
The ball is in your court now. I personally would not want to be putting myself through anymore with this man. Playing detective and tiptoeing about trying to catch him at it, and going to his flat can't be dignified or goid for your self esteem.
I wouldn't want an holiday with him, because I would drown him.
Get some legal advice immediately, and if possible boot him out and never let him back.
Don't be afraid of living life as a single woman, because it can be wonderful and empowering.
He won't change believe me.

FC61 gives good advice.
You don't deserve to be treated like this.
Take back your personal power.
Life is not a rehearsal.
I don't know how old you are but is he worth wasting your best years on?
I realise it is heartbreaking to be the subject of such deception.
There is a saying about not getting angry but getting even.
Also revenge is a meal best served cold. The best revenge is success.
Good luck!

Been there, like so many of us, it is awful for you but you need to know if he is going through his mid life crisis (so 'many do) or whether he really wants to leave you and isn't just saying it to her to keep her sweet, either way he is a complete s..t. I phoned 'the other woman' whilst my x was still living with me, she sounded terrified (shame) and my x was furious with me (tough) so that was it, he left me when I was 4 months pregnant (nice) and eventually married her, got divorced from her and eventually re-married again so he has 6 kids now 2 that are same age as our sons eldest DD, I was on my own for 9 years but am now very happily married to Mr A. all things for reasons, but doesn't help you now. I wish you luck and that you do what is right for you. Where is his flat we could all come with you to face him - that would be interesting xxxxx

I wouldn't bother confronting him, just tell what you are doing and when he asks why just say to him you know why and don't try to lie your way out it. The truth is staring you in the face. There is another woman and the its the one he was having the affair with. Don't bother to waste anymore time on him. Just sort out your future on the quiet.