No family nearby

I'm an only child. Two daughters live 150 and 40 miles away. My other daughter lives a few miles away but has a job with very long hours, I see her a couple of times a month. My cousins live 60 or so miles away so I only really see them at funerals now. It is quite sad how far flung relatives are these days.

Not weird at all. Life is different nowadays, we all used to grow up close by the family, when we got married we lived perhaps 20 mins away at the most. I moved away from my family, then a bit further away, and then even further away, now as I am older I realise how lovely it would be if we all lived closer together, now both our boys live miles away from us so only see them occasionally,(I have this dream that we all live around the corner from each other and we could meet up just for a coffee and chat and then go home) whereas in real life we have to either fly to visit one and drive 5/6 miles to the other.
I do realise that in some families the further away they are from each other the better, not in my case.

What you are describing sounds perfectly normal to you.

Our son and my late sister's children, plus my sisters-in-law and their families all live at the other end of the country from us. We've just been to a golden wedding and probably won't see any of the family again for years, if indeed we do see them again.

My sister's children are "too busy to keep in touch" - they tend to ring when they want something.

Son and daughter-in-law visit when they can and we visit them, at most once or twice a year.

Most people I know have these kinds of relationships.

I grew up in the Glasgow area, with my mother's people living in Denmark, my father's parents in Fife, his brother in Bradford and his sister in London. I can count the times we saw them on the fingers of one hand.

I understand how you feel I have my DS n family living in Tokyo where they work. For the past 23 years even prior to my DS marrying have flown out there to see my family. I had a big shock last week when my DD drove up from London and informed me that her and my Silaw where movingbyo Furhaijia in UAE to work. It’s come out of the blue I am going to miss them dreadfully but have to get on with things. I have two elderly parents both aged 99 that I look after. I have always been around to help them but think how different it will be for me in a few years when I won’t have family around. Not feeling sorry for myself there are lots of people much worse off. I think of the world as a global village flights albeit expensive are plentiful plus there’s FaceTime and WhatsApp which we didn’t have until a few years ago. Guess it’s life n we get on with it.

Our family is split in all corners of the world. It has its downfalls, and also its huge plusses.

oh dear*MoTo*all too common now I am afraid. Our family all lived in the same area when I was growing up but all that generation are now gone. I have a brother on his own, my OH effectively an only child. Two AC nearby and one 600 miles or so. A friend spends much of the year travelling between her 3 AC who are spread round the world.

We moved to the Coast 17 years ago. Our two children remained in London and are 100 miles away, now. We get phone calls at least twice a week and What's App when they are on holiday or whenever they have something to tell us. Daughter visits about once every 6 weeks, whereas Son comes down once a month, he even has it written in his work contract that, once a month, he can stay away from the office on a Friday and not return until the following Tuesday. He visits us and works from our house, during the day and socialises or does odd jobs for us for the rest of his stay. Seems we are very lucky with our two. Most probably see more of them now than we did when they lived close by.

Hello everyone, my daughter and grandchildren live on the other side of the world and now my son is moving there too with his family. We may have been able to move nearer him while he was living here in UK, but I wasn't sure about moving from the north to the south. So now I regret not moving down south as he may have remained in UK if I had. Very depressed.

Daughter/partner and g.kids live three miles away as does son . Thankful for it as well. Thought at one time my son in law was about to whisk my daughter off to live in New Zealand but thankfully she put a stop to that.

Not wierd. I grew up in a close knitted family had a wonderful childhood myself and my Brother who sadly lost his life when he was forty.My parents died years ago so I am on my own as far as relatives are concerned. I live in another Country thousands of miles from the UK but I am fortunate to visit friends in the UK several times a year and have my own family close by I can understand you feeling on your own my Daughter and Son live close by but we dont see each other very often as they all have their own lives to live. Thats life I suppose!

You are not weird as you put it. If you are, then a million of us are in the same boat! I see my children about once every 2 or 3 months because they are in their 50s and need to enjoy their lives while they can because I think of the day when they will have to visit me more often. I speak to them by email and facebook. I use the word 'speak' loosely because that is sometimes difficult for me. I know they are there. I love my own company. It was borne out of disability. I am housebound so settled down to a solitary life when my DH died and I quite enjoy it. I have never lived on my own this long before. I have travelled all over the world so do not miss that either. I can see that you wish you had family near you and that is understandable. Have you thought of moving house? If you holiday in Kent you do not have to be tied to just visiting relatives. There are all sorts to do in this historical area. Another idea: have you thought of tracing your family tree? You might find relatives living closer.

I don’t think it’s very unusual these days! My in laws are in Germany , daughter USA, brother Scotland , mother and uncle Northumberland, me and DH London. I spend my whole life on a plane.

My three children all live in different countries, along with my two granddaughters. I see them twice a year when they come for possibly a month, so it is feast and famine. We keep in touch with Skype, and emails which are better because of the different time zones. I have lots of good friends, so I don't think we are "weird" but I do wonder what would happen if I didn't wake up one morning and no-one realised for a week!

My mother died when I was 11 and I was an only child who then alternated between living abroad and boarding school. Then worked in London, Greece and Turkey, moved to France where I brought up 3 daughters and finally wound up in Devon! No living relations apart from daughters 50 miles away with whom I have no contact.

We’re very lucky to have our three adult children (and our four DGS) within a 45 minute drive. They all went off to University, but gravitated back to this area. There’s no guarantee they’ll stay forever, though, so we just enjoy it while we can. They all meet up every couple of weeks, and have a great relationship.

I have (I think) 13 cousins out there somewhere, but only have a couple of them on my Christmas card list. Most of them I’ve never met. I’m way younger than any of them, so we probably wouldn’t have had that close a relationship if we’d all stayed in the same area.

I do have friends whose DGC still live within walking distance, and go to the same school as our children did, but it’s not common these days. It must be nice to have them all just round the corner.

We have two youngsters who who live abroad and two live in the same area as us. One in Canada, one in N-Z.

In The U.K one grandchild lives about a 3 hour drive away with his mom who is our 2nd son, son. Second son lives at home re health.

Eldest son lives 20 minutes drive married with two babies I help look after.

Two brothers live a couple of hours drive away. Also family of theirs who live on Czech and The U.S.

A multi nation family we certainly are.

I too am an only child with parents, aunts and uncles all gone. Cousins live all over the country and tbh we’re not that close and everyone gets on with their own lives. My DS1 and DDIL lives a 2 hour journey away but comes down regularly to stay (especially when it’s cricket season !) DS2 lives in the next road and comes round when he’s in need of a good meal and DD Partner and 2 DGD live in the same town so I’m one of the lucky ones.

NannyB2604
If you look how the world has changed in the last100years it is no wonder that we find it difficult to see our families as much as we would like
.The opportunity for a different lifestyle in another part of the world or even a few hundred miles has seen many of us become separated from our loved ones.The good side however is the introduction of the jet aircraft, fast train services and motor ways that give us the chance in a relatively short time to visit one another or we can keep in touch non stop through our computers.Not the same I agree when if like myself when in my younger ?days your relatives had either lived in the same street or just a few miles away. Absence can make the heart grow fonder and appreciate what we have as nothing can be more heart breaking when we see through GN the distress some go through from disagreements and breakups within families who live but a short distance from one another.

My husband and I live with my 2 sons live in Midlands, my dd, SiL and dgs's are in Bristol so 120 miles away and my sisters in Devon so 140 miles away and dh parents in Yorkshire so again 140 miles away. I do sometimes wish I lived closer to my dd and sisters but we are halfway between my dh parents and where my parents used to live before they passed away in Devon. I go down to see sisters about every 8 weeks and dd also. One of my sisters comes to me for Xmas each year and we go on holiday together and other sisters come to see me about once each year.

BradfordLass72 - please don’t be too sad. I’m sure your son won’t be totally alone.... Maybe he has a partner/spouse and/or children? If not, maybe he will find someone soon to love him (after you have gone).

Plenty of us come from small families and whilst we of course mourn those close to us who we have loved and who have died, we are creating our own small networks of new family and other close people (and in-laws) who we love and who love us.

Many people on Gransnet have poor and strained relationships with siblings and other relatives so larger doesn’t always mean happier.
I know he will miss you terribly, as I miss my parents, but I hope he will be blessed with love from elsewhere, as I have been.

Most of my family is in Poland. My parents came here after the war. My son lives an hour and half drive away, my daughter and her family and my Mum about two and a half hours away. I see my son fairly often, sometimes we meet for lunch near where he works, sometimes he and his partner come for a meal to us, or we go to them. My daughter, grandkids, their dad and my Mum, I try to see once a month. Would love, love, love it if we were all in the same city, or even better the same street.

Following with interest - I live in a relatively wealthy area (although I am not relatively wealthy!) where my neighbours all have their daughters and extended family in the same road or at least the same village. However, they don't tend to be graduates.

All my family has passed away, although I have a cousin up North and one about 20 minutes away. Both my DDs are at /want to be at uni and they are both looking at careers that would take them overseas.

They say people in this country are getting lonelier. Is it a wealth or education thing? The price of living in certain areas? Or family breakdown? Obviously my family couldn't help dying, I was brought up without brothers and sisters (estranged and not in UK) and my DDs' father's family was estranged as well.

I also think ahead about when I get too old to drive, that will definitely be isolating, but at the moment I still work and am out and about as much as I want/can. I think that will change.

I don’t think it’s so unusual for families to be scattered all over the world, these days, as people move for a variety of reasons and the ability to do so is much easier.
My siblings and cousins are scattered far and wide. We meet up when we can, but with some of them, it can be years before we see each other. It’s a bit different with my in laws, both SiL live nearby and we are in regular contact as we are very close.

I am very sad to read that family life has deteriorated so much during the last 50 years or so. So many lonely people now. It seems to affect most of us. I wonder if it will ever go back to the way it used to be, with families helping each other and being there for each other in good times and bad. Some are forced into moving for jobs houses, etc.
I am also 30 miles away from my nearest son, which is quite a distance when age restricts you from travelling. There doesn't seem to be much time for anyone else. I blame the must have generation. Everyone is so busy earning money to fill their nests with must haves, there is no time for the things that matter, ie people. (I'd like to know where it will all go when they tire of it and need to dispense with it.)
We are all guilty of raising children to not consider other people. Giving them everything we possibly can to keep them happy whilst growing up and expecting little or nothing in return. This is the outcome unfortunately, no time for anyone else. So no OP you are certainly not weird, is the way things are now. As I said all very sad.

I too am an only child so no family other than a few older cousins who all live elsewhere so I rarely see them although I do try to keep in touch by phone with a couple of them as I think a lot about them.

I don't think you're weird at all and these days it seems to be more normal to be spread all over than not. When we moved from the seaside town we grew up in 40 years ago my parents followed us after 5 years which was lovely. Later our eldest son and his family lived here and my youngest son lived in London. Since then my parents have gone, eldest son moved two hours away and the youngest married a Kiwi and emigrated 6 years ago so we have no one here at all and no ties other than the familiarity of the last 33 years. We try to communicate regularly with our family in NZ but with their busy lives and the time difference it's very difficult and more often than not we miss seeing the children as it's too chaotic to Face Time them on a morning. We see our other son maybe every 2 or 3 months and message more often.

My husband's siblings live about an hour away so we don't see them very often. We are still undecided about moving back to the town we grew up in and have reconnected with old friends there recently but feel we might miss being close to the motorway network and the good shopping facilities not to mention leaving this house which is like my security blanket I do envy those with family close by but it is what it is and we make the best of it as we can.