Toddlers. TELL don't ASK...

Jane10 that made me laugh.

Callistemon yes, good idea re the choice.

Agree with you, we used to say ‘we are going’ now a lot of parents say ‘shall we’ or ‘Do you want to’?
Goodness knows why!
They even ask toddlers what they want for lunch.

Sometimes an element of choice is good but asking whether or not to go on an outing which has been already decided is not.

For example asking 'which foot first?' when putting on shoes gives the toddler some choice but no negotiation about whether or not the shoes are going on. The same with a coat or cardigan. They do think they have a little bit of control (but not in the main decision-making).

Saying "We're going to the shops. Shall we call at the swings on the way home?" is fine too imo. It adds a bit of incentive to the trip.

My 8 year old DGS in a strop when not allowed something shouted out 'I never agreed to come on this holiday'! Obviously he'll need to check his contract.

Agreed. When my eldest granddaughter ( 8) tries to take control too much, I tell her she can make her all own decisions when she earns her own money and has her own house!

Yes I agree granny4hugs too many choices don't work. I would say
"We are going to the park, do you want to play football or go on the swings"
It's good for children to be able to make decisions but they have to be relative to their age and safety. Too often parents want to be the child's friend, they should be the responsible parent.