Feeling Guilty - Ex-husband

Presumably you are in contact with your teenaged children and his other children ? I'd have a chat with them, make sure they are giving him support. He may not have another partner, but he does have a family who should be supporting him. It shouldn't be up to you.

I have a similar marital situation to yours, and to be honest I'd be reluctant to get too involved with my ex, even if he was sick. I'd give him a call and check on him - but I wouldn't be going over there and spending time with him. To each their own, of course, but you have a new partner to worry about, and your ex is an ex for good reason.

Perhaps help without getting hugely involved. Every situation is different. You say your new partner is understanding which shows him to be a mature and kind person.

I wouldn't put your ex ahead of your current relationship though. There must have been a reason for the divorce even though you seem to feel guilty.

I hope your ex pulls through and also that his children help him.

Thank you all

Agree...no need for you to feel guilty. You don't say why the marriage ended but it ended. Doesn't mean you have no feelings for the father of your children. As others say, just be kind but don't take it all on your shoulders. Help where you can but know your limitations.

He is the father of your children of course you should feel compassionate towards him. No need to feel guilty though, just help if you can.

Thank you for all your comments. I do encourage my children to do as much as they can. He lives a fair distance away which really doesn't help. I know that he gets more upset having me around which is the main reason why I've held back because the last thing I want to do is make things worse for him. My new partner is being understanding but think if I suggested that my ex husband moved in with me, it would be a step too far! He wouldn't come anyway. I just wish he had forged himself a new life and I wouldn't be feeling so guilty about him being on his own. His older children could do more but I don't really have much to do with them so can't really get involved. I have spoken to him and text him regularly. He knows I still care and hopefully he will recover.

If it works for you and your present partner, go ahead and offer what help you can. Compassion is not limited.
In my case it's the reverse. My husband left me, is happily married to the one he left me for. I am single. I doubt he will help me if I was ill. And, I don't want to find out.

have you discussed this with your new partner? How does he feel about helping?

I would worry that you would become far more involved than you wish, the trouble is he isn't your friend or your brother. Are your children trying to get you involved, obviously you could give them support but it may not be the best thing to stir up old emotions.

Only you can know what will work for you but someone I know had her ex husband live with her and her new husband after he had an op for a brain tumour.

You are right when you say that it has been his choice to stay single after your divorce.
Help him out a bit, maybe, but remember that you are divorced and I don't suppose you made that decision lightly, even if you were the instigator.
If you care about your new partner,consider his feelings and don't put your ex husbands feelings above his.
Your ex is not more important than your current partner.

If you want to hang on to your new person, make sure he understands you are doing this out of friendship as he might feel threatened.

You would help a friend in a similar situation, just as long as you make it clear it is only friendship and he doesn't become too dependent on you. Encourage his children to help as well, they should.

I don’t see why you shouldn’t help him as long as it’s clear you are doing it out of kindness and nothing else.

Yes,
If you are in a position to help with apps, talking the situation over, show him where to get professional help etc, just the same as you would for any family member, ( like a brother etc)
Best wishes