How to deal with her personal odour?

Oh gosh this is really an awkward situation isn't it, and difficult to know just how to deal with this.

I don't think it's appropriate for you to mention it to her, no matter how gently and tactfully you might raise it, for the simple reason that you are not a close friend.

I know you said you are quite friendly with her, but what you have is a business relationship, isn't it? You are the employer and she the employee and I think it's best to keep it like that.

I think a delicate matter like this needs to be broached by a family member, or a very close friend, not her employer.

It's going to be incredibly embarrassing for the poor woman when she hears from someone, but that someone shouldn't be you.

In the meantime, I feel you have to let her go by maybe making some excuse about a family member helping with the housework from now on.

I take solafenicin too anxiousgran....a dignity saver..

*Not wishing to be a scaremonger but I do now wish that I had had a conversation with a family member who had a similar problem.

She died of ovarian cancer. I will never know if the odour was connected with that. I did not have the courage to broach the subject about the odour but, with hindsight, I so wish that I had.*

Says it all really about the right thing to do for someone!!

Not wishing to be a scaremonger but I do now wish that I had had a conversation with a family member who had a similar problem.

She died of ovarian cancer. I will never know if the odour was connected with that. I did not have the courage to broach the subject about the odour but, with hindsight, I so wish that I had.

I was prescribed solafenicin (Vesicare), and it stopped urge incontinence in its tracks.

This was me ..although just slightly smelly. I recognised the problem...went to doctor . Diagnosed with prolapse...had pessary ring inserted..end of problem! My sister had it before me so i knew the symptoms.but we are a family that talk about stuff like that...so nobody goes un-diagnosed by us!!! I would suggest telling her a lie and say you once had this problem but got it sorted by doctor. Some lies are good lies!

Also just read your explanation of what the smell is like
GinJeannie I feel so sorry for this woman.
To put my cards on the table I have had continence problems myself and it’s sometimes hard to remember spare pads and knickers..Even if she’s had a wash in the morning,getting hot at work would make even a bit of leakage smell.
She may not want to get changed at an employers house and definitely wouldn’t get a wash
You seem to have come to a compromise in trying not to get too close to her.
If it were the ‘smelly’ one though,I would prefer someone to tell me, and then I would know it was time to see a doctor.
I expect you have been discreet about this and not told anyone else
Good luck whatever you decide.

I know somebody who started drinking green tea but gave it up because it made her urine smell.

As a teacher, I had to deal with this. I did not want a pupil to be ostracised and I had a supply of toiletries that I made available to the pupils. I had “the talk” as a one to one and said that I wanted the best for them and was there to help them. Done with kindness and sincerity, every time I did it I was surprised to be ..... thanked. Pupils were very hard up and they knew that if they gave me a note I would supply soap and deodorant- in an envelope left on a shelf. Why not? You clearly like this lady and she will know that.

Having just read the OPs update about why this poor lady smells, I can certainly say many people don't realise this is the odour they are giving off.
I know one or two!

If this were my cleaning lady, I should certainly say something and broach the subject of infection and leakage kindly, with some solutions and probably a big hug.

But then I've never been one to avoid hard situations if I felt I could help someone. In this case, she stands to lose other clients less sympathetic than GinJeannie.

I would probably just mention that there is a funny smell in the room without a suggestion it could be her. Or maybe ask her if she trod in something. I remember once being in a queue and smelling a strong smell of cat pee. I was eyeing up the people around me. I then got whisps of it throughout the day and thought I was imagining it after the uncomfortable queue wait. . It wasn't till I got home and took my cardigan off and noticed an off colour patch that I smelt it and realised it was me! I must have forgotten to let the cat out. I binned it lol

Hmm it wouldn't block it totally I suppose, even an oil burner.

I don’t think trying to mask the smell would work. How to do it? Drown yourself in perfume? Use a nosegay? A plug in air freshener won’t work if you stood next to the person.
I’d hate to think someone was armouring themselves with perfume against me. I’d rather they just got on and told me.

Madgran, * you ask ‘what’s it all about? I’ll tell you....it’s living in a village! If even a word of this gets out, either through telling the cleaner ( however nicely!) or a friend or relative or neighbour of the cleaner, then the OP risks an almighty row at best or being ostracised at worst by the people she knows.*

Good god, are people like that worth knowing?

Tigertooth suggested an anonymous note.

I don't think this would be right although I am sure Tigertooth is truly trying to be well-intentioned.

I don't mean to be unkind to you Tigertooth but I think this action could cause a great deal of upset.

She comes in once a week - I don't think its anyone except perhaps her closest friends who should bring up such a sensitive issue.

Its not as if she is planning to move in.

Perhaps you could approach the subject by saying (as you said above) that you know how meticulous she always is about matters like personal hygiene. Because of this you wanted to mention that you'd noticed an odour recently and were bringing it to her attention before anybody else noticed as you know how much anything like that would upset her.

Why does masking the smell seem wrong anxiousgran ? To my mind it's the best solution. The OP said she can't be in the same room. That is the problem. The cleaner is only there a short time.

One of the girls in work has taken to wearing a perfume that smells like an electrical burn to me. Wierd!

Yes it certainly could be perfume, I have 5 sisters & back in the 80's we could all wear Rive Gauche with no problem, but on one sister it smelt like an old catheter bag ,yuk !

Clinique’s Aromatics has the same effect on me Dollydinkum! Makes me heave when I smell it .... and so many women wear it ??

I’m wondering if she might be wearing a different perfume. There are some that, to me, smell of BO and urine.
When I was in Venice for a few days before a cruise, I kept smelling an awful musky, urine type smell - it wasn’t the lagoon, it was emanating from people. When I got on the ship, I remembered a new perfume several friends said was nice so I bought the last one from the onboard shop. When I sprayed it on me, it was that awful stinky smell that kept wafting round Venice. The perfume was called Ultraviolet. I was horrified. When I came home, I told my daughter who said she’d have the perfume - and it was lovely on her. Strange! Some people must just react differently when wearing or smelling a scent. There are other scents that have the same sickening effect on me. Apologies to all who like Ultraviolet.

Take your point wavemark but if it is UTI problem it leaves a fishy smell every time you go to the loo.
If it is a hygiene problem, it seems to have started quite suddenly.

If you change your clothes every day, why would you smell?

How difficult for you. Personally I think it would be a shame to ask someone not to work for you in your house because of what is basically a health problem. The poor woman would wonder what she had done wrong.
Masking the smell with air fresheners sounds a bit wrong to me as well.
She may be aware of it herself. I don’t think she’s likely to say “Sorry I smell, I have urinary incontinence/ recurrent urinary tract infections”.
I would speak to her rather than anyone else, or just leave it.
My sister managed to have just such a conversation with a work colleague after being deputized by the rest of the office. It went ok in the end with a lot of sympathy and tact.
On the other hand DH couldn’t bring himself to have such a conversation with a colleague and regrets it . He was a teacher and the poor man with BO got ridiculed by the pupils.
Good luck anyway.