Frequency

The question was can a marriage be truly happy without sex

its not truly happy without , it’s at best friendly but not content when deprived of the intimacy that a marriage should have .
I do know it’s been all of 20 years .

My youngish, very attractive female GP
Babadon; I'm very surprised she became redfaced; didn't she take the conversation further? You might have learned something about her activities, for comparison. All doctors and nurses, male and female, I've known say "don't be embarrassed, we've seen it all before!" Maybe your mention of gel threw her!? OoRoo

Too many children still living at home and too thin walls for all that shenanigans lol Very occasionally at about 3am if we both wake up due to aged bladders

My husband and I have been married for more than 30 years and have always been best friends - which is far more important than any sexual relationship. We are on and off - can go months without sex and then zoom up to a couple of times a month, depending on mood. As my husband says, sex is 10% of a good marriage and 90% of a bad one - quod erat demonstrandum.

I think this is a good place to discuss a subject that you would probably not discuss with friends or family, though why not is beyond me.
I have found it very useful as I often wonder are we ok as we are. Am I different etc.
I'm glad the thread was posted.
Ellie Anne I am so sorry you feel like that. When you are older it's hard to leave. Can you not make a life for yourself from your shared home? I know its hard and its difficult living without affection but friends can be caring too. (Apologies for off topic)

This thread has made me incredibly sad. Reading about the love and companionship so many of you have has made me realise how empty and sad my own situation is. There’s no love, no companionship, no physical contact at all and in my case no wish for any. I’ve no idea how he feels as we only speak about trivialities. You’ll wonder why I stay but I’m a coward and have nowhere to go.

Have you shown him La Leadsom’s thigh boots?
The credit card could be coming out again ? ?

nice user name trolly dolly.

Thankfully things have spiced up a great deal since Mr. Pip came out of the closet. Oh my.....some of his outfits are amazing. Somewhat miffed on finding a credit card bill for another pair of his size 10 high heels. Three pairs were quite sufficient.

After a long marriage or being together, companionship is much more important. The physical act is good, if you want it, however, if you are happy with a cuddle and a kiss, then that is fine. Everybody is different and has different desires. Personally, I am happy in my relationship. Hold hands on a walk. Kiss goodnight, a must. Never go to bed on an unsettled argument, always kiss and make up. Next day, is a new one and a start from scratch. It is a two way relationship and if both are content - enjoy! Make the most of your relationship to the most wonderful person you know,

Once a week. We also wear sexy outfits for each other. Ooooh!!

I don't know why we are so coy about sex, it's just another bodily function after all .

Janie pops - thank you. MawB - no one forced you to reply. I guess I should have titled the thread differently I didn’t really want to know the frequency but is it completely unusual to have gone a very long time between two people who love one another and are quite compatible and happy.

I love my spouse and my spouse loves me. I snore! Decided that different bedrooms might be the answer. It worked, no more nudging and when there is anything amorous, a visit to the other bedroom is like visiting each other's home. We are in our seventies, but this has added spice to our new courting! 50 years coming up and I would like to say we are like newly weds', but that is not quite true. Mind you, I am not sure I could stand the pace, if it was the same as when we were in our twenties. Sex is not necessary for a truly romantic relationship. If you love each other, then, sex or no sex is fine. Just enjoy each other's company. Be happy with what you've got. I definitely am.
The question asked, was how often do we have sex. The answer is not too often, but cuddles and snogging are a regular occurrence.

To all of you who have sex regularly, make the most of it. 12 years born again virgin. Ha ha and it was something I used to love. ?

Simple answer to OP
MYOB

To “Cannotbelieve.....”

Please don’t apologise for posting your question. We, as the reader, can choose to reply, share, or move quickly on to next question. Those that do share and support,that’s kind of you to try and soothe someone, I was/ am fascinated by the responses! ???

Our problem is our memory, we decide to have a date night I go upstairs, he comes up a bit later and we have both forgotten what is was we were going to do.

The answer to the post is yes we do but its just when ever and we are more than happy

Been in a sexless relationship now for 12 years.
All I can say is, we are both quite comfortable with the way things are.
I see nothing wrong discussing this topic.
It’s not as though we will all meet up and know each other.

What is wrong with facebook?. Perhaps you need to look at your settings. Mine gives me info about local news,pets,road conditions and news of people I know.

Sorry but I'm with Jane10 Why on earth would anybody want to know about other people's sex lives?
Gransnet is getting worse than Facebook - which so many on here were de-crying not that long ago!

The point is really not how often any of us do it, but whether a couple are in agreement about what they do, how often they do it and so on.

Obviously, ill health can put the tin lid on sex within a marriage or long-term partnership. Spouses don't always feel the need of the same amount, but it should be possible to reach a compromise.

If both husband and wife really mean that they no longer want or need or enjoy sex, then I see no reason why they shouldn't still be able to have a happy marriage. After all sex is (usually) part of a marriage, but it isn't the be-all-and- end-all, is it?

I'm not going to tell anyone how often DH and I make love as we regard that as too private to discuss with others.

OP, talk to your husband honestly and kindly and work something out with him that suits you both.

My husband has been unable to ‘perform’ since his stroke 23 years ago.....he was 50 and I was 46 . A marriage can ‘survive’ but not happily!

Switch topics to waxing, taboo in equal parts to some?

We are 65 and 71 respectively. He is still affectionate, kisses and cuddles, holding hands while were out but nothing more for a few years now mainly due to his meds and our aches and pains.
I used to enjoy it a lot but at our stage of life I don't miss it.
Sex dosen't have to involve intercourse........just saying.

Its hardly juicy material though, is it?