Need help learning how to have peace with my MIL

I've been married to my husband for 10 years. My mil entered my life ( moved in kind of entered) in 2011 I dont even know where to begin , so to start I will say I have never been the calmest person especially in my early 20's ( I was 21 when she moved in). I definitely didnt handle her coming into my house telling me how to raise my child ( only had 1 at the time), cook, clean, dress, talk, or do anything well. Now 10 years later I let my husband handle it HOWEVER she has gotten worse. Please know that she has not lived with us the whole 10 years even with us now having 4 kids we pay HER lot rent and mortgage ( mortgage we paid until 2 years ago). I do not hold this against her. What I cannot come to terms with or let go of is:
Her lying to my husband
Her stealing money from us ( she lied about the mortgage when I figured out it was paid off 2 months prior, my husband asked her to call them when he got home from picking up the kids from school so he could see what it would cost to pay it off. When he got back she said she called and gave a sob story so they said she only had to make 1 more payment and they would pay the remaining balance..... loans especially home loans dont work that way)
Her treating my 5 year old daughter like trash ( biggest example being I have 2 children born a year apart one 5/11 the other 5/3. She decided last year she couldn't get my daughter anything on her birthday (5/3), didnt tell us or we would have said 1 of the gifts we got her was from her then gave one of my sons something on his birthday (5/11) what makes this even worse is she goes up to him say here this is from me I love you happy birthday. My husband confronted her she first denied it saying it was for both of them, then said she would get our daughter something but never did the following month we got her something and said we are sorry grandma did that.( she kept asking why grandma didnt het her anything but her brother something)
Mil has many health issues including needing knee replacement surgery that she will not do because and I'm legitimately quoting her here " my body rejects everything they use to close it, also who will take care of tiny( her dog), how could I get any rest.. we give so many ideas she refuses to hear however does everything she isn't suppose to then complains about how much pain she is in.
Remember when I spoke about her complaining about my cleaning and cooking and trying to show me the correct way? Yeah now she does NOTHING but complains about how we clean or do laundry and tries to guilt trip our mutual friend who is older then her into doing it.
She complains that me in particular has no respect yet not even a week after said family friend loses her husband ask repeatedly " so have you got the insurance money yet"
She has said to this family friend if she had it her way she would take our oldest child from us and raise him cause we are unfit ( we have 4 kids all healthy never have they been neglected in anyway.) She gets super excited when my husband and I have even the smallest of fights.
But the scariest thing is on the rare occasion my husband and I get intimate she follows him in the bathroom ( not shitting you as soon as he is in the shower she's in there it's scary as shit sorry about the laungage) ( also sorry about that whole subject I dont think its appropriate to talk about that kind of stuff online personally it makes me uncomfortable) I'm seriously at my wits end to the point I did blow up on her today for hovering over my shoulder when I was doing laundry and making my husband food ( she has 5 kids total her hoys want nothing to do with her. Idk about her daughter she has never been part of our life due to her own issues)

I just want peace I dont want to fight anymore it's so much more worse then what I have shared to the point my husband told her we are looking for a place and when we move unless she changes she will not be seeing our children anymore ( she tries to put the kids in the middle like asking if we have said anything about her or talking about my husband or myself in front of them). I have tried to compromise, tried letting my husband handle it, tried avoiding her, I dont know what to do. I dont want my children to lose their grandparent but, at the same time i dont want that kind of toxic around them
. Please help me.