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house move grumpiness

(9 Posts)
jeanie99 Tue 05-Nov-19 11:59:44

When we had flooding in our bungalow (we were away at the time) on our return I had to organize via a project manager restoration of the property.
We had ceilings down, half the kitchen was destroyed, mold everywhere, plaster needed taking off walls on and on the damage.
During the work 9 months in all and living in our home I can tell you stress was not a word I would use.
Not going into details but I moved out for odd weekends to keep sane. my hubby was a absolute pain.
It was a complete nightmare, I shudder when I think about it.

Framilode Mon 04-Nov-19 11:44:58

We have moved many times and each time my husband has been the same, even when the house move was his idea. He sucks all the joy and excitement out of the experience.

I have come to the conclusion that he doesn't like change and finds the whole thing stressful and this is the way he shows it. I think the best thing is just to ignore it if you can. I think a lot of men find change difficult to deal with.

glammanana Mon 04-Nov-19 11:14:09

soos45 Is your OH feeling undermined by the Project Manager because he is not in charge of the works involved and able to take control ?
Take yourself off for days when you sense he is being rather prickly and meet up with some friends,you could even invite him out for the day and when in a calm atmosphere tell him how much his behaviour is bothering you.

Grammaretto Mon 04-Nov-19 10:45:04

So are you the one soos45 who is finding it all hard and your lack of enthusiasm is helping to keep GOM grumpy? I gather you are not a golfer?
It might be the time of year. It puts a damper on most things.

Do something to lift your spirits. Call your overseas DC. I find my DS in NZ the most likely to see my point of view. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and all that.

I have a friend whose DH did everything himself and refuses to get "a man" in to help now he can no longer manage. So she has to put up with an overgrown garden etc because of his pride. She has health problems too.

soos45 Mon 04-Nov-19 09:12:01

Grammaretto, no he's not regretting it as he was the main pusher (moving closer to his golf course)….just become so much snippier.
MOnica -- have moved before, but we were both much younger then. thanks for your advice...

Lesley60 Mon 04-Nov-19 09:03:46

Hi soos45 I can understand a little of what you are going through we are downsizing soon and moving 1 and a half hours away from the house where we have lived for over 20yrs as we have both recently retired and want to be closer to our daughter and her family.
I have lost count of the number of times I have secretly changed my mind about the move as we have a lovely home now but the house we are buying needs work doing to it.(unfortunately no project manager) and is smaller so we have to give away half of our furniture.
I’m leaving other family, friends and grown up grandkids behind, and the thought of going through this move is keeping me awake at night, even though I want to move to help my daughter with her young family as her husband works away a lot.

Grammaretto Mon 04-Nov-19 08:56:20

There is a whole GN thread devoted to the stress of moving! It's on its 2nd incarnation because there were so many posts. You are definitely not alone.
Good advice from MOnica
I am just thinking of downsizing but this talk of the stress is putting me off.
Is your DH regretting the move?

M0nica Mon 04-Nov-19 08:38:54

soos45 Shouldn't be too stressful as all the contractors are being handled by a "project manager".

Have you ever moved before? Any house move is stressful and as for having builders in, project manager or no project manager.........

Both you and your DH have my sympathy, I understand your need to vent and his excessive grumpiness.

Moving is listed as one of the stressful events in life, so understand that what you are going through now is stressful, full stop. Find something to do that will help de-stress you - go for a walk, buy a magazine, go out and sit quietly in a cafe with a cop of coffee, anything - and count the days 9 weeks) until it is all over and life returns to normal.

soos45 Mon 04-Nov-19 07:49:15

Good Morning Gransnetters
I'm not really expecting a solution to my problem, I just have a need to vent. We are downsizing and the "new" house is being upgraded prior to us moving in. Shouldn't be too stressful as all the contractors are being handled by a "project manager". However, my DH, known generally for being a GOM (grumpy old man) has become even more short-tempered and difficult to deal with (me only). I'm taking deep breaths and walking away to prevent things developing into full-blown arguments but it's not easy. DS and DD live overseas, so no one close to share my frustrations....even just typing this has helped...thanks for "listening"...aargh!!!!