How to say you don't want to renew friendship?

If they are contacting you and they arent taking the hint then tell them bluntly that you do not want or need a friendship with them & stop contacting you.
But make sure that this is really what you want before you do it

Opal
Still on the subject of hijack what exactly is a 'minger

What a rotten position to find yourself in, take heart and I'm sure you'll find a way out.

You seem very clear about not wanting this person to be a part of your future - don't blame you after their past treatment of you.

So ask yourself 1) What harm can you suffer is you do let them back in?

2) what damage can they inflict on your life/lifestyle /reputation etc if you don't let them in? You don't want any difficulties from this person as it seems you've already suffered in that way.

If you think they may bad moth you take a more strategic approach.

Give some thought to telling "the right people" that you are being pestered by Blogs. Tell them you are feeling unsafe, remind them of what you have been through and what happened with this person last time. Get you champions around you and then be as ruthless as you wish.

You never know "the right people", you know them - the village gossip, the WI, the choir people, village shop etc might just do the getting rid off Blogs for you.

Elizabeth I did well getting others to doing the job of keeping the difficult ones away from her, may be you should give it a go.

If you don't think Blogs can do you any harm then I'm with LondonGranny and don't be shy about using the expletives :-) Give them a clear hard message.

Good Luck and I hope you get a good outcome.

It can be difficult for some people to understand a thanks but no thanks and if you feel intimidated, ie keep getting phone calls hide at every knock on the door a straight forward that you have 'moved on' should be enough.Could not your son and his friend have words?

Just gotta say I love your username Pearlsaminger - brilliant. I take it you're an Elkie Brooks fan? Sorry to hijack the thread.

Insincere and users? Don't bother renewing a friendship on those terms - they are no doubt returning just to treat you the same way and if they are that thick skinned, no reason to be nice or even polite!
If they ask to meet up for coffee/go for a meal/ meet up, just tell them that quite frankly, that after the way they behaved before, you really have no wish to have any contact with them now or in the future - then block them !
As far as getting rid of JWs,If I haven't spotted them walking up to my house) I just tell them that I have had a blood transfusion and my son donates blood - they don't stick around for long!

For my own wellbeing I have had to rid myself of many users, moaners, critical folks and people who simply drained me in recent years. It isn't easy, but my life is too short to put up with these people, and yours is too. Do what you want for yourself and your family, and do not fret over ditching people and moving on as YOU want to.

Oops that was to LondonGranny..

Brilliant! That’s exactly the thing to do!

Laughed so much I’ve got coffee streaming through my nostrils spilt my drink

I wouldn't have second thoughts of just putting the phone down and block the calls.
Life is too short to put up with a pain the the A* human being.

I will remember that Londongranny. Directness. No wonder he didn't return. I think women are very vulnerable after losing their husbands/partners. An old friend of mine who was widowed once warned me that she felt her husbands passing left her vulnerable and that some not all people were worth the watching. I think she meant they would take advantage re money etc given the chance. I do know she lost money 'leant' to a friend. It took her a couple of years to really be herself again, she missed her husband very much.

LondonGranny, I am all admiration. That is the sort of response I think of afterwards. You go girl. ????

I agree with SpringyChicken!

Have you any reason to believe that he wouldn't automatically distance himself from you if you told him the truth? Because if he's thick skinned, persistent and manipulative telling him that now isn't a good time is just like telling him that later is-

Saying 'now is not a good time' leaves an opening to a thick skinned person to keep trying. Assert yourself the very next time he asks and say a very firm 'no thank you, I don't want to'. Prevaricating will only prolong the agony.

I had a similar situation with one of my first husband's friends. He kept ringing up (often at mealtimes) and asking to meet up. It was one of the few times I regretted having kept the same landline number after two house moves.

In the end, polite excuses just weren't cutting the mustard so I was just really blunt and said "No, you were a complete c*nt then, you're clearly still a complete c*nt who can't take the hint and I'd rather pull out my toenails with rusty pliers than see you again" & hung up. Other expletives are available but sometimes needs must when the devil drives, or has rung a dozen times.

He's not bothered me since.

"no" is a complete sentance.
But if you want to expand on it: "No thank you, that wouldnt work for me (/suit me/appeal to me)"

After such a long time maybe he is after something again and has run out of folks to use Like others have said, refuse and ignore. I would.

mosaicwarts, you don't have to reject this person 'nicely'.
They are thick skinned and probably wouldn't "get it" anyway.
I would, as others have mentioned, ignore them but if they still persist, you might have to tell them that you are sorry but you really don't want to be friends with them.
After this message or email, totally ignore any replies.

Just tell him that period was a very difficult time in your life and you have moved on and would rather not rekindle a friendship that reminds you of that period

That he was the cause of your difficulties doesn't need to be said.

Or

as others have suggested just block them, put thebphone on answerphone and do not reply.

This person has appeared after years? You owe him/her nothing. Don't reply to emails etc. Block them on your mobile/Facebook etc. Don't reply to any calls.

Don’t worry too much about the “nicely” part of it.
Be unavailable/out/busy/block him on your mobile or leave voicemail messages unanswered

Thank you very much for taking the time to reply.

I've been on my own for three and a half years, somehow I feel more vulnerable now than I was in the beginning. This person definitely abused my kindness and made a fool of me in the community.

Fiachna50, I thought he'd come round last year and hid in the larder for about 15 minutes with the doorbell going ... ha ha, it was my son's friend, same colour car!

Have a good evening

This is difficult but if they really won't take a hint I would just say that you don't have time for them in your life as things have moved on. Not much else you can do if they are that thick skinned.

The trick with Jehova´s Witnesses apparently is to say that you have already found God and worship in your own way. Best really, to say you are Jewish, they will run a mile. Not that that helps the OP.