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Well I have finally done it and parted with my partner.

(14 Posts)
hopeful1 Sun 10-Nov-19 13:17:13

Well I have finally done it and parted with my partner. For months I have been wondering what is wrong with me, lack of friends and a partner who makes me feel I am going mad. He has many friends on his phone which he constantly attended to, so I am sure you can guess where this is going. I never read any of his messages until last week when my gut instinct was ringing alarm bells loud and clear. I rang him from work last week and just knew he wasnt where he said he was. When I asked more questions his story did not add up and he tripped himself up with details. Later that day I read his messages... one past lady friend had contacted wanting to meet up and he agreed, but another he had met on monday afternoon and the message left no doubt what had occurred. I am devastated but the trust is gone. I've only been with him 10 months but the relationship was intense. He told me he had many female friends he likes to chat to.... but that is all they do... he said.. and I will have to accept that. Being quite a jealous person I have found this really hard to accept and now I know why, he really is what i suspected.... a cheat. My family hated him and wouldn't speak to me as they said he was a criminal.... and they were right. He las left a vehicle at my property and the number plate does not match the car... what do I do with that? There are many other dubious dealings and when I questioned him he made me feel I was making things up in my head. I feel so stupid thinking he was wonderful, he was so gifted with the chat. I know I never want him back but feel so upset by the whole thing. I've never cried so much with someone and without that someone. I know this is jumbled but I dont have anyone to talk to. Cant wait to go to work tomorrow. How am I ever going to get over this?

timetogo2016 Sun 10-Nov-19 13:28:15

Sorry for what you have been going through.
Once a cheat always a cheat.
It`s easy to fall for mens bullsh..
As for the car report it to the police it`s iffy for sure.
I hope your family will welcome you with open arms,i`m sure they will as they didn`t like him.Hope your day at work goes wel and you will get over it just give yourself tome.
I wish you all the luck in the world Hopeful and no more tears eh ?.
Big hug from me.

fizzers Sun 10-Nov-19 13:32:42

oh you'll get over it in no time, I think you are feeling a little ashamed or foolish that you allowed yourself to get taken in like that, I believe all the warning bells were there, but you turned a bliind eye to them. Hopefully once you tell your family they will accept you back and give you the support that you need.

As for the car, well report it to the police.

Missfoodlove Sun 10-Nov-19 14:13:02

My late MIL was groomed by a 43 year old conman, she was 73.
He was very convincing, we we were unable to make her realise how he was manipulating her and deliberately driving a wedge between her and her family.
The Police were helpful and details were passed on to Interpol but he was never convicted.
You are not the first and won’t be the last.
Put it down to experience.

Luckygirl Sun 10-Nov-19 14:43:09

Hold your head up high and move on.

Fiachna50 Sun 10-Nov-19 15:13:02

You will feel like cr** for the first wee while, but as time passes you will realise you had a very lucky escape. Do not blame yourself. There are an awful lot of these 'charmers' out there and they are persuasive. Carry on with your life, have a 'guid greet' as we Scots say when you want to. Take all opportunities to go out and socialise or be with family. In time you will look back and wonder what you ever saw him. Good luck, you WILL be fine.

annep1 Sun 10-Nov-19 16:24:18

I'm so sorry Hopeful1
Be assured you will get over this, probably quicker than you think..
He wasn't really making you happy. You will have peace of mind now. We all get taken in. We are only human. Be kind to yourself and patient. I hope work goes ok tomorrow.
Your next step when you feel up to it is to seek out some company that you can enjoy. Meanwhile wrap up and enjoy some walks in the fresh air.

tiredoldwoman Sun 10-Nov-19 17:39:53

Yes, shoulders back, head high . Don't cry , it just gives you a big red nose. Report the car , dump his stuff in it !
Keep busy but look after yourself too . Don't take him back !

Tedber Sun 10-Nov-19 19:58:06

Trying to work out the timeline here. You say for months your partner has made you feel inadequate and you hint that because of him you have lost friends? And yet, your whole relationship was only 10 months in total? So when exactly did he make you feel good about yourself?

How intense was this relationship? Did you live together? Did he promise you fidelity? Did he regard your relationship as intense as you did? Did he steal off you?

All questions to ask yourself rather than reply on here. Maybe your desire for a committed relationship obliterated the reality of what was happening? Your family warned you? I guess the rose coloured glasses were on and you ignored them and all the actual signs that this man was not for you?

Yes, cry, scream do whatever but let it be a lesson to you. Sometimes we do need to listen to 'nagging doubt' .

grandtanteJE65 Mon 11-Nov-19 15:13:13

I hope you feel better soon. It sounds to me that you have made the right decision.

Do get onto the police about that car - you don't want to be had up for receiving stolen property.

I hope your family and friends are happy to see you now that you are single again. If you want to see them that is.

midgey Mon 11-Nov-19 16:21:01

Well done! You did it!

Daisymae Mon 11-Nov-19 17:33:07

You will get over it with time. I suggest you get some help and support from your family. Things will get better, in fact it is as well that things have come to a head so early on in the relationship. Not sure what you should do about the car - involve the police maybe?

mumofmadboys Mon 11-Nov-19 17:46:37

Would it be best to just ask your ex partner to remove his car from your drive politely but firmly? Wish you well for the future hopeful.

jeanie99 Wed 13-Nov-19 18:28:42

We put our faith in people when we walk through life.

Not everyone is a deceiver but when that bell rings in our head it's best to listen to it.
10 months is not a long time to be with someone.

Couples can be married for years when things go wrong and then it takes a grieving period to get over it.

Try and look to the future, make plans of what you want your life to be like and go forward, don't look back.

Just ring the police about the car, it's not yours just explain it's been left there by someone you used to know, don't do him any favours by contacting him, think of him as a piece of rubbish which needed throwing out.

Best of luck