Fussy eating grand daughters

doctored her son's eyedrops
I missed that phoenix
What with?
Not superglue I hope!

I know various nursery workers and they know it’s a control thing used by a child mostly against when the child becomes aware that they do possess the power to manipulate circumstances. As food is a fundamental need, those providing it are open to such emotional blackmail. This came up when they explained child-lead weaning, where a child develops a more direct relationship with food early on.
My children grew up alongside two others who lead their mother a merry dance on what they would and wouldn’t eat. Funnily enough, after a hard days outdoor play, and when their mother wasn’t around, they’d eat all sorts in my house.

I was an extremely fussy eater, I remember sitting all Sunday afternoons crying into my cold roast, unable to get down until I finished.

Daughter number one was also fussy, I admit to trying to encourage her to eat, try a bit of everything type thing, but when the next two came along, I decided to go with the flow, I just threw it away if they didn’t want it, I’m not sure it worked as to this day, child two eats a very limited diet, the other two are fine.

Agreed Phoenix

Hetty58 is right. This phase is best ignored, the children won't starve. Other options mentioned are also useful, allow the children to help themselves or give them finger food. Whatever you decide anxiousgran just relax and let them take it or leave it, at the moment they are just playing you.

Oh dear, the comment at 13.21!

Is this the same person who doctored her sons eyedrops?

It's always best to ignore the fussy eating. I agree that bread and butter is fine - or maybe their parents can bring a packed lunch for them.

My granddaughter (aged about three) flatly refused to eat her dinner. I just said 'I don't mind whether you eat it or not. You can just have an apple instead if you want.' She seemed really puzzled by that!

I was a very fussy eater, my father got very angry about it as he had been in a Japanese POW camp in the war. When mine were small I never made a fuss about them not eating, I remembered the horrible sick feeling I got when there were rows about this. Let your grandchildren have a bit of bread and butter if that's what they like, they'll grow out of being fussy.

One of my grandchildren now ten is a terrible eater, I know that whatever I put in front of her will be wrong, even if it’s what she’s asked for, it’ll be the wrong type, and she doesn’t just not eat, she’s very vocal about how disgusting it is.

To avoid the stress I now just ignore her, I figure she’s not going to fade away in a few days, and if she gets hungry enough she’ll eat.

I was in hospital for a while, GrannyLaine, not because of that but it prolonged my stay because I couldn't eat the food so they wouldn't let me out!

I cook to everyone, preferences. If they change their minds to what they like they eat bread and butter or biscuits and puddings. Their parents can take care of nutrition another day.

Callistemon I also remember that. I had my tonsils out when I was six (so nearly sixty years ago) and I have such a clear memory of how strange the food tasted and how much it upset me.

I would just go with the flow. I never make a drama over food. Eventually they realise I am in fact not trying to poison them and they return to their normal selves.

As you see them such a small amount of time just enjoy their company. Get some microwave pizzas and just be fun.

I don't think its ever a good idea to impose sanctions on eating Frognan My own children went through phases of fussiness to varying degrees and they simply left what they didn't want. No one ever had specially prepared meals because they didn't like some element of it. I do the same with my grandchildren and keep mealtimes as relaxed and enjoyable as possible. As others have mentioned, using serving dishes and letting them serve themselves is good. Letting them help prepare food and act as 'waiters' also seems to work. And I agree that taking guidance from their parents is a sound idea

Frognan
I hope the parents agreed with that disciplinary action.

It is definitely something not recommended. Peditritian now say that as long as a child eats one meal a day (while snacking in the middle), it is all fine.

I can remember not wanting, or not being able, to eat when I was about that age.
Faced with something I didn't want, my throat would close up and no amount of threats of any kind would have helped me to swallow.

If they don’t eat then no tv for them! I confiscated my granddaughters Ranpoedi Gawa toys when she played up and it set her right straight!!

The parents can bring food they eat to your home.

No need to make a fuss about it as it adds stress to the visits, it is totally normal for those ages. Don't even mention their fuzziness again, they will grow out of it.

Enjoy their company. They are kids, they do what kids do.

DGD2 has become rather fussy.

Do you plate up meals or do you put everything in dishes on the table?

I always let everyone help themselves, if mum and dad are there they will encourage DGD2 to try something.
You could put some bread and butter on a plate on the table too and really, their nutrition is up to their parents unless they stay with you for any length of time without them.

In your case, the children appear to be eating normally for the majority of the time. So I would just put whatever you are all eating in front of them. Then let them decide whether to eat it or not. Don't mention the food at all. If they don't eat it then take it away without comment. They won't starve to death.

It only needs doing a couple of times and they will give up making a fuss and just eat it. The more fuss you make, the more fuss they will make.

My GD is pretty fussy, although improving slowly.
Last summer, knowing she likes sausages, I made toad in the hole, reasoning that she could always pick the sausage out. She loved it, so now gets it at home, too.

She doesn't like roast but did pretty well with her Christmas dinner. I did check with her beforehand about which vegetables she likes (carrots!). She actually ate a sprout! But when it was suggested that she might eat them at home now she said that she only likes mine!

My rules are that she eats what she wants of what's put in front of her but doesn't make a fuss. If she hasn't eaten much I try to give her something I know she'll eat, even if it isn't all that healthy, for supper.

.sorry pressed post too soon above

I would ask their parents (not in front of the children!) what they would like you to do? Give nothing? Offer alternatives? Lay s place? Not lay a place? Ignore? It really is up to them to manage this particular phase with their kids and to tel you what they would like to happen.

If it was me I would just say " Oh ok if you dont want anything on the table, talk to mummy and daddy about it" and show no other reaction atall!

What do their parents say about it?

Thanks for the advice and ideas. I just used to give my sons bread and butter at home if they wouldn’t eat what I’d made, and I only had to do it a couple of times. It just feels a bit harsh when I only see dgds along with their parents. If I looked after them on my own I think ground rules would be easier..

I certainly don’t want to pander to them, or make separate meals, so helping themselves or a buffet type meal is a good idea..

It’s also that I have the same problem with my nonagenarian father. He just gets cake when he won’t eat, but not a solution for the dgds ?.

I agree with grannyGravy and just don’t make a thing of it

My grandsons are the same.

But I don't bother about it.

I'll ask if they want a sandwich

No?

Fine