Husbands friends.

Rude c.w.. we've all come across them. If you can persuade your other half to do something else than visit her she might get the message. She obviously thinks she is perfect. I would make a point of asking her how she I feeling as she is looking rather tired - is she overdoing things!! Good luck and try not to let her get to you. Give OH a kick for his lack of support.

A few sample retorts

Have you thought about a boob job or can’t you afford it?

Do real men like their women to look like 10 year old boys?

Is that why you’re mean and miserable, cos you’re always dieting?

I found it hard to have multiple orgasms when I was as skinny as you.....

They should keep you going for the next few meet-ups!

Could she be suffering from an eating disorder ?

The next time she makes a remark of this kind, either tell her to stop being so b. rude, or simply get up, walk out and go home. If you drive, take the car and leave your husband to find his own way home.

When he comes home, tell him that you are no longer prepared to visit this woman or have her in your house. If he agrees with her that you need to lose weight then he should tell you so, if not, he needs to support you by telling this friend that she is rude, unkind and that your appearance is no concern of hers.

You could try something along the lines of ' I have no need to diet but thankyou for your concern- and it would appear that you follow the late Duchess of Windsor's mantra that a woman can never be too rich or too thin...pertinent pause...and history has shown how wrong she was, as she ended up very lonely and in exile!'

I am a size 14. Have been for a long time. My sister is a size 10. She likes to make snide comments to me all the time. I had a new jumper. She admired it and asked in front of her husband 'What size is it?' I tried to say very factually 'It's a 14' but this was a similar put down comment. It hurts!!

Confront her on your terms, ask he what's making her mean. It could be that she is envious of you. Dont ever change for anyone but you. Explain to hubby exactly what she is doing and if he loves you he will see. Nobody has any right putting another down and it just goes to show how insecure she is and not you. Become the life and sole of the party and laugh off what she says. She is obviously unhappy in her life. Shes a bully.

First, are you overweight and she is just expressing concern about your health although I think not. Thank her for her concern and tell her you are perfectly healthy and happy as you are and you would hate to be a stick insect.

I always think being nasty to someone says so much about the person that is making the comments to you, if she was really happy within herself you have to think why is it she’s trying to goad someone else, so therefore put her in her place, or anyone else that does these things, while it might seem silly to some people to answer her back, I think once you do this bullies like her will realise they aren’t getting the reaction they are after by upsetting you, she would notice that after she says things to you you then as you said you sat quiet for the rest of the evening, she got what she set out to do, she doesn’t sound like someone I’d want to spend an evening with to be honest, I think I’d rather spend my time with people who are more on my wave length, good luck Londonwifi x

Londonwifi, just ignore her. Why are you so offended by the remarks? That's the real question. Are you insecure and underconfident? You should be content and happy as you are.

Quote her this from Shakespeare's 'Julius Caesar':-

"CAESAR
(aside to ANTONY) Let me have men about me that are fat,
Sleek-headed men and such as sleep a-nights.
Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look.
195He thinks too much. Such men are dangerous."

She's clearly a Cassius, i.e., a troublemaker.

Tell you husband that you are not happy that he doesn’t support you. What does his other friends do when she is being like this to you? If they laugh or take her side then they are not worth knowing. Also tell her straight that you are happy with your body and it has nothing to do with her. She needs putting in her place because she is a bully and they need to be taken down. So sorry that you are having to put up with this as there is no need. I hate bullies as I used to be married to one.

Many men infuriatingly sit on the fence and as you say, they are his friends that he has known for ages. I too would have a response ready for the next comment “ not everyone likes boyish figures, I love my curves and I know for sure my husband does”. It’s not being rude, it’s giving her your opinion as she clearly wants you to know hers !

Nico97 is spot on.
Please take her advice.
If it were me she bullied I would tell her to get over herself.
Looks can fade but ignorance lives on.

I think the main issue here is with your husband not backing you up!

I cannot agree more with the posters who say you need to make a comment which makes her look rude and insensitive. She is obviously jealous of you and trying to make you look inferior to her.

As many people here know, I'm a fat lady and have had a lifetime of meeting people like this who get their power from making others feel bad.

Now that I'm 72, the outright insults don't happen so much but in the old days, I used to smile and say, 'Do you think you'd still feel like that (or "be giving that advice") if you were intelligent?'

If you use this, the look on her face should make you laugh outright.

And as for your husband, yep, I'm with Opal - he should be ashamed of himself.

That's the trouble with men who think with the hairy matter between their legs rather than the grey matter between their ear.

Im afraid, I would embarrass her by completely ignoring her. Just blank her and totally ignore the question.If she persists just tell her no I do not diet or fast and Id prefer it if you didn't ask me again. That will shut her up. If it doesn't I would get her on her own and ask her what her f**** problem is. Sorry, Ive no time for bullies or jealous c*w*. That is exactly what she is and shame on your husband and the so called friends/guests for not saying anything to her. Though I think its a very male thing that they never want to make a scene.

Could you just say loudly 'That doesn't sound very kind' and turn away. Or 'Thankfully my husband likes me the way I am ' and wink at her!

Thank you SueDonim.?

Ha ha. Barmeyoldbat. I could do with inviting you lot along for backup. ?

Next time it happens ask her if she has ever tried eating.

Maybe you need to ask your husband the same question, Londonwifi, as to why he is rude to you by not defending you. Im really sorry you have to endure this.

Thanks TrendyNannie6. You know I think I will definitely do that the next time it happens. You have given me the confidence to do it.

Thankyou LondonWifi, yes he’s a good man, this woman doesn’t really sound a happy person to be making rude comments to you, put her in her place. You only have to do it once and she will back down