Supporting grandchildren when children are in the military

My friend's daughter found it impossible living with a soldier, especially when they had a child. It's just a completely different world. They were at the point of considering separation when he decided to leave and get another job.

you're getting a taste of what his wife has dealt with for years so maybe have abit of sympathy for her

Was the wife bound and gagged and dragged to the altar kicking and screaming Paddyann? We surely have to assume that she entered the marriage, and life as the wife of a serving officer and all that that means? Or do you know something we don't about this young family?

Have to agree with Greyduster and think paddyanne’s comment was inappropriate. I too have first hand experience of having a son who was in the military and the marriage broke down. Harrogatels son was working and being in the military was probably often away, all part of the job and not easy for any of the family. I hope the family manage to find the help and support they all need.

If he wasn't around to help with the home and his children I can see why she wanted a change . That’s a bit harsh. We don’t know why she left this man - and her children, if i read it right - but we must assume that when they married she knew what, as a service wife, she was letting herself in for - periods of separation, for certain; living in married quarters, for certain; the claustrophobic environment of a service community, for certain. It’s not about feeling sympathy for either of them. That’s not what the OP is asking for. She doesn’t want to be “getting a taste” of anything!

you're getting a taste of what his wife has dealt with for years so maybe have abit of sympathy for her .If he wasn't around to help with the home and his children I can see why she wanted a change .Maybe he needs to step up and stop handing his responsibilities to others.

Good advice already posted but I'd like to say that maybe it's time for you to take care of what's closer to home for a little while.
I'm not being harsh honestly, it's just that as long as you are picking up the slack he may not reach out for the help that is available. Wether this is a pride issue or not I can't comment on, you know him better but it's possible.
It will get easier in time as the children are getting older but he needs to access the support available to him within the army. Perhaps he could privately rent so they have a home environment rather than barracks, it could even help him to have his own space instead of sharing with other single men.

Also contact your local branch of SSAFA- The Soldier's Charity. They have home visiters who can sit and discuss the problems all of you face and has access to military welfare officers to provide help as well- I know because I was one of those advisors for a while! www.ssafa.org.uk/get-help/forcesline

The Army Families Federation will be able to offer advice.
aff.org.uk/

Yep, our GD has been educated in several countries and rather than go with parents on this posting has gone to college in mainland Europe close to maternal GPS.

It’s hard, have their parents separated?